DFC #62

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Man, you gotta start layin' off the sauce, Mom... That's the third time this week you've put Comet on our spaghetti!The Abominable Dr. Phibes

Oooooooh yeahhhh...... ANTS!Nethicus

I don't know mom, I don't think anything can improve the taste of grits.anon

I'm just wondering when that free-floating mouth will fall into the food...Orion the Hunter

No! I believe what I asked was, "What is Sushi?" not "Can we please have raw fish and squid for dinner?"Roxanne LeReaux

Nice try Mom, but now it'll just taste like SALTY shit.Greg J

Judging from vacant look and the fact that you've just served me a plate of pepper, I'd have to say that you've been mixing pills and booze again.Greg J

Psst, Mom, I don't want to alarm you, but PJ's dinner is starting to get away!ZooBoy

Mom! Help me get this fork outta my cheek!Magus

Well now, this sure beats the black coffee and cigarettes you normally give me for lunch. zazu

That's right. Pour on that Miracle-Gro. I'm not going to be two-and-a-half feet tall forever.DMW

"I see father's attempt to raise revenues through blatant product placement have been foiled by his own indistinct, sloppy drawing style. I guess this means we'll be eating raw spaghetti next week as well, huh Mom?"Brian Raiter

Double the dosage, Mom. The last time only put Dad in the hospital for a month!RBByrnes

I thought dad wanted his ashes sprinkled over the ocean.zazu

"How'm I gonna do all that coke with this crappy fork?"Mr. Clean

"I don't care how much damn cheese you dump on it, It'll still taste like shit."Mr. Clean

Wow, Mom. That oregano is most excellent. Huhhuh. Huh. I could eat the whole damned pot of spaghetti.Hans

And you're sure that this Rhino Horn aphrodisiac is going to make our next "family time" more bearable?Hans

It always happens...whenever we eat dinner here in the DFC zone, I start mumbling about Soylent Green. I don't even know what the hell Soylent Green is!Diggit

You can season it all you want, but I say it's still gonna taste like cat food.The Lawyer

No mom, pouring salt on their tails stops birds, not worms.Paul Roub

That better not be saltpeter, bitch. I've got plans for Dolly tonight.anon

Of course I look tired. What did you think we we doing in bed that last cartoon, anyway?Boschcat of the Apocalypse

Back off, P.J., you armless little fuck -- this is MY dinner.zed unbound

Two reasons that's not going to work, Mom: 1. I can read, so I know it's rat poison, and 2. I wasn't going to eat this plate of shit, anyway.Roy

Hey, Jiggles - when you're done here, fix me an extra-dry martini, no olive. Thanks, toots. 'Preciate it.Craig

I'm pretty sure that kelp flakes on overcooked spinach is considered a sign of child abuse in all fifty states.Horselover Fat

Ah. Beans and pepper. Hit the lottery, did we?Westur the Unspeakable

"I saw a kid at school do a really cool trick with a spaghtti noodle once. I could show you if I had two nostrils."Blake

"If you're wanting PJ to eat, you might want to loosen his bib enough so he can swallow."Blake

"Oh golly gee whiz!" Billy said sarcastically, "I can hardly wait for all those pet-eating, child-poisoning, drug-induced captions that just seem to pop up everytime there's another 'eating" cartoon on the DFC."kafka

Due to their mother's trusty magnet and her insatiable need to replace the iron she loses every month, Billy and PJ's anemia progressively worsened.Toad

Mommy!! Last time we ate your "magic dust" on the 'spgetti, I thought I was a cow for a week!Munkihed

Did you notice that PJ looks like a young Drew Carey?Rich Coughlan

Hmmm... Ri... dil... lin... I sounded it out like you taught me.Rich Coughlan

Jesus, Mommy! That's enough MSG to choke Godzilla!! No wonder our eyes are always at half mast!Vice Pope Doug

Since we're eating sawdust, I can assume that someone forgot to get our government cheese on the first?Hans

I like my food just like my women, hot and spicy!Rich Coughlan

You see PJ, the Keane curse makes the entire family unable to properly hold objects. Case in point, me and the fork, and Mom and the cheese.Coyote

PJ, if you even think about touching my food we'll find out just how much pressure that soft spot on your head can take!anon

Mom, we've done "salt on the slugs" to death. Can't we torture some of Dad's gerbils?Frenchy, the toad swallower

You know, when I said "dig me something up to eat", you didn't have to take it so literally.Rishmawy

Back to the DFC Archive index