"See Spot jump. Jump, Spot, jump!" hmmmmmmm....succinct....deliberate....but the meter flows like polar bear piss off a glacier!.Tommy The Cat
She's self-destructive and stupid, but the Prince still marries her because she's pretty, huh? That's the trouble with being led around by your balls.Roy
See, Mommy, you should have put the code for the text color inside the "body" tag. You only use the "color" tag all by itself when you want the text to be different on part of the page.His Imperial Majesty
"I'm telling you, the other side of the room is on fire."Tim Harrod
Blast it, I TOLD you the correct incantation was "Aras na pwatoo"! Now all the lamps the the U.S.A. are melting!Magus
I promise I'll be good from now on, Mommy! Please, PLEASE put "The Bridges of Madison County" away now. Greg J
See, Mom, I told you we were the only fucking cartoon drawn in a circle instead of a box. oooooophs
I don't understand. If the defense protested inarguable evidence, doesn't that put them in direct contempt? Fuck it, I'm sleepy...skullboy
When I grow up, I'm gonna selling quality blow like Raul, so I can afford a car like _that_!Vice Pope Doug
Cool! Penthouse printed my letter.DMW
Gee...the two of us...in bed...with a book...why doesn't Keane just paint a target on us and get it over with already?!?RBByrnes
Why do I always have to sleep on the wet spot?zazu
I'm going to kill that bastard. He just knows the DFC loves these kinda cartoons.Yakko
What gave dad the balls to attempt shadows?Yakko
"Did Traci Lords ever get back to Kansas?"Mr. Clean
"Story my ass! I wanna cigarette!"Mr. Clean
If Dad had remembered to draw a roof , we wouldn't have to worry about these fuckin' solar eclipses.Tom
All the same, I think post-Hegelian structuralism's dichotomy of the 'other' compels us to rethink Foucaultian semantics. By the way, where's your left tit?Tom
Dammit, Mom, aren't you ever going to wash the blood out of these sheets?Tom
See, this catalog is full of modern, elegant lamp designs, and they aren't even very expensive. Don't you think it's time you got rid of that 60's pop-art dormitory crap?Diggit
So, Papa Bear eats Goldilocks, right? Pedophilia and bestiality in one wholesome bedtime story, and people wonder why little kids set fire to cats?The Lawyer
Thanks for getting the scapbook out, Mommy. I'd almost forgotten the looks on their faces as the car rolled off the edge.anon
Ah, the Illustrated "Mein Kampf." I was afraid it was going to be "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" again!Dofang
I don't really approve of phone phreaking, but since you're family I'll just give you one clue-- the white part shows where the dipswitch goes-- you've got them all backwards. Now let me sleep.Horselover Fat
No, she's definitely had implants. If they were that big naturally, they'd sag.anon
Hey, mom...not to interrupt you or anything, but you really got shanked on that new smoke detector.zed (deceased)
Boy, it's just like that black background from the forest - Daddy doesn't use shadows for 30 years, then suddenly he goes nuts!Craig
O.K., we're decided, then. You get to order "Jeff Stryker's Greatest Hits" and I get "Forrest Hump" and "Sperms of Endearment".Craig
"Most Likely to Succeed", huh? Pretty ironic you ended up a witless mother of 4 married to an abusive alcoholic in Suburbia, don't you think?Craig
Heyyy.. What's with this story anyhow? The next paragraph reads "unbeknownst to the Oedipal lovers, the drunken cuckold was about to burst in on their lovenest with a machete, bringing the circle of treachery to it's bloody conclusion." What the-patrik
"I first met Dean Moriarity not long after my..." Yeah, I know it doesn't say that. I just wanted to throw those DFC bastards a curve ball. Hey that chick has huge jugs.anon
Oh no, Mommy! It's the Book of Myst and it's sucking us in!Kittycat
Turn to the next page of the catalog. I'm sure we can find a liver-shaped couch to match the kidney-shaped lamp in the corner.Kittycat
See, dumbass? *That* is a Rachel 'do. What you have is a *DORK* 'do!Kittycat
Look! See? "Silicone implants linked to breast cancer." And it's in bold print! Jeeze, by the size of the jellies they slipped in your jugs, you should be a walking tumor by September!Kittycat
"Damn. Freud was right."Blake
"See? It says right there that there is no set time to discontinue breast feeding and that each case should be taken individually."Blake
"See, Goldilocks' eating their food, and trying their chairs and beds symbolizes the adolescent trying out new roles. She is still most comfortable in the child roles, but they break, because she has outgrown them. Now do you get it?"Blake
Hey mom! Don't look now, but either our shadows are trying to swallow us, or Keane hasn't yet learned the fine art of "character shading"!kafka
Now let me get this straight...THIS was dad in high school? Jeezus, he looked even more like a freaking sweaty pederast then than he does now!!kafka
Well, if you weren't such an unfaithful ho, daddy wouldn'ta had to bash your face against the headboard. Now go wash up, you're dripping all over me!Phaze
Christ Mom. I already told you I was having nightmares. Do I really have to look at photos of murder scenes?anon
Don't look now Mom, but not only is Bil attempting shading and details, but he's drawing you in 3/4 profile. Those art classes are really payin' off.anon
Yep, says it right there: "Mixing watercolors and ink may result in blotting and smudging if the artist is not sufficiently skilled."Trism
No mommy, that's the seminal duct and that's the urethra ... and shouldn't Dad be the one to give me this little talk anyway?anon
Awww, those pictures are airbrushed! NOBODY could swallow something that big!paTRICK heSTER
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