DFC #141
No, really, will y'all marry me? Ah know it's a little illegal, but Mommy an' Daddy did it, and *they* were jus' cousins... Munchie Munchie
This bouquet is apallin' !! A-pollen! Get it?? God, Jeffy -- sometimes you have all the humorous uptake of Grandpa's rotting gonads!Vice Pope Doug
Here, Jeffy. Breathe in these spores. I saw Mr. Spock do this once and he really enjoyed it.El Kabong
Stop staring, Jeffy. They always strip down to their shorts and sit on the couch like that. Keep this up an' we're never bringin' you to Outland again!Riff
Oh, give it up. He loves you not; he's just trying to get into your pants.Gen, Sedgwick
Trust me on this. You mix a few of these in with the
ragweed and she HAS to say "How pretty!" and get a vase. Me an' Billy
kept her sneezing for WEEKS last fall.Charlie Steinhice
It's a sure thing! We undercut those bald bastards at the airport, because we have NO overhead .... and we're a fuck of a lot cuter!!Vice Pope Doug
No, it's the giant seed pods that replace you when you sleep. These are just triffids.Charlie Steinhice
OK, this is an appropriate enough sign of grief for that guy Daddy hit with the minivan...Keef
Let's see how funny Daddy thinks an oversized head is when he can't find his allergy medicine....War Gerbil
See? And you said I was stupid to plant those meatballs last spring!Imhotep
I * REALLY * gotta stop eatin' these things...Look at what the're doin' to my thighs fer crissake!Doc Evil
Here, go give these to Mr. Chipmunk. Make it up to him. He'll come back.Bongbrain
First they chop off our feet. Then they make us do YARDWORK! Frankly, I'd rather just be grounded.ChoppingBlock
Here Jeffy, pull my flower. No, that's not it, how does that go again?VitaminTom
Hare Krishna...Krishna Krishna...Flowers for Krishna?anon
If they're the right kind, we'll float for hours in
euphoric bliss. If they're the wrong kind, it's another hellish night
with Mr. Stomach Pump.Bongbrain
These are appropriate flowers to give a dried up, withered old hag on Mother's Day.Bongbrain
...and the best part is, medical examiners almost never check for this type of poisoning.Dave
You wanna get paid for pulling up this field of dandelions? Hell, we're lucky he's too drunk to stand out here with his whip!Tazabby
Surely you recognize pansies, ya limp-wristed loser!Don Spudleone
We gotta do this by hand until Daddy gets what's left of PJ outta the lawn mower!anon
Jeffy, Jeffy, wherefore art thou, Jeffy ?... Thy melon head, thy lack of mouth .......Vice Pope Doug
When the Keane kids re-enact The Odyssey, wackiness is sure to follow.Thomas Wilde
C'mon, shake a leg!The landscapers will pay us $50 for each yard we infect!Jessica Steinhice
Opium, Jeffy! Acres of opium poppies! Either we're
rich, or we're about to be gunned down by cartel guards. Either way,
we're out of this stinking strip!Roy
Aren't these cu...hold on. Is it my imagination, or is the grass slowly devouring us?Preacher/Judge
Okay, these three represent Dad, Mom, and that bitch Cathy. Whoosh! HA HA HA!! Watch 'em disentigrate! HA HA HA!!Preacher/Judge
Look and learn, Jeffy. Only the RED poppies. Grandma
will kick your ass all over the house if you bring in those low grade
yellow ones.ninailer
Submitted for your approval: You an' me, standing in a meadow, playing with a certain type of plant ... a weed, if you will. You have just entered ... the Difficult Zone.tv's Spatch
Back to the DFC Archive index