DFC #140

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

PJ stared over the top of Dolly's oversized head as he waited for Daddy's magic lap elevator to give him a better view of the TV.jerr...(no, can't own up to this one)

Daddy look, the 'lympix are...Oh jeezus, not P.J. too! Billy and Jeffy are already gonna spend their adult lives in therapy, you're one sick puppy, you know that?IrishMike

Tradition, harmony and the spirit of competition!? So how does the Taco Bell logo on that torch fit into all that?zazu

Well there's one advantage to living in Keane's world...you can still be in the olympics even if you're a flabby, tone less middle-aged guy like this goon.Jojo the spix

Isn't it great how the world can come together for a few weeks in peace and harmo...Look up my dress one more time, Jeffy, and I'll personally castrate you!Tazabby

Olympics? That's a Malatov Cocktail. This is my Soldier of Fortune video, you morons.Bongbrain

Wow, I'd love to get hold of steroids that would allow us to me to run with fifty pound torch.Zebra

He's still going -- Our plot has failed!anon

See??? That arsonist's the cop from the transvestite scene... I told you these "Cops-Too hot for TV" videos were staged! Orion the Hunter

I can't believe what I'm hearing! Giants are stealing our spaceships from mid-air, and we are going to do NOTHING?!? Just sit on our asses and watch it happen? Gentlemen, I am ashamed, ASHAMED I tell...aaaah, fuck it. Who's up for a game of naked twister?The 4-Star Pope

Driven mad by her new power, Dolly proclaimed that all men must carry flaming torches as a monuement to the glory of women.Mad Mike

Now, as we play the tape at 1/30 speed, watch the hedges at the base of the crowd and tell me - do you see a third assassin?Alexander Shearer

See I told you video over the internet was slow, the olympics have been over for months and we're just getting to the torch ceremony.Yakko

Dolly's about to learn a brutal lesson about standing in front of the TV...Thomas Wilde

Why does Muhammed Ali have a live beaver on his head? And why is he white?Preacher/Judge

First Keri Strugg steals Jeffy's haircut, then John Tesh steals Billy's, and now this guy steals Mom's! What are they trying to pull?Nobody Cares

Did him......with THAT!anon

You know what daddy? One day, I'd like to be the person with the Olympic Torch. I can picture it now: All day long, running through the streets proudly, torching every fucking building to the ground.Cheezo

After that Dan and Dave thing, Reebok's really reachin' with this "Chris, the hermaphroditic athlete" campaign.Don Spudleone

We're not watching your Chariots of Firey Love porno again, Dad!Don Spudleone

Make sure at least one of the bullets severs the spinal cord or he might be able to dig his way out of the basement. He's scheduled to pass by the house in about fifteen minutes, so get moving!Mr. Funny Man

Oh, yeah, right Dad. You can't even go to the refrigerator for a beer without getting short of breath.Anastasia

So this is really the first time the olympic flame has gone out? Cool.Anastasia

That's no guy carrying the torch...That's Mommy!Dave the Fave

How come Gramma gets walls, and furniture and stuff, and all we have is this lousy TV?Dave the Fave

Oh no! Now there's going to be about a hundred jokes about mommy's electric friend on this page!anon

Oh, great. He taped the whole damn thing. Brace yourselves, bros; it's Tesh and Strug all over again.Charlie Steinhice

Hey, he shaves his 'pits just like you and Uncle Roy!Myke

When I grow up, I wanna be a respected, trendy yet controversial gay female athlete!Vice Pope Doug

See? Another neck. Necks everywhere. Either draw us right or go work at McDonalds.Stefan Jones

Hey, this isn't a TV! This is a poster glued to a dresser! How dumb do you think we are?anon

Back to the DFC Archive index