DFC #78
"I had always heard that people who can't smell can't taste, but you would be amazed at what I've been able to slip into his food!"Blake
Start putting together the meat grinder, I think he's about to go.Mattness
If you go in there with your "I know you're faking and it's _SNOT_ funny" line, don't come whining to me if he knees you in the nads like last time!Vice Pope Doug
He's doing it all for nothing...the math test is tomorrow, not today.Melissa Campbell
The news said there was an Ebola outbreak in a village that had a dotted line running through it. Isn't that odd?John Atkinson
The DNA experiments are working. He's got a dogs nose now and we'll be able to replace Barfy by the end of the week.D.E. Mac
I hope this is a lesson for the little fuck. Next time I say, "But honey! Mommy has to DOUCHE first," I bet he'll listen to me!Bob Schmalfeldt
Then P.J. started shouting "I Mike Tyson" and he slapped the bjesus out of him!Scott Varengo
He's been this way since you demagnetized his gigabyte drive with all the alt.sex.comics downloads on it.Ethelred
Two down... one to go!Inch
You and your "Whiskey makes boy a man".Zebra
I *told* him that damned slingshot was gonna backfire someday, but would he listen to me? Nooooo.Riff
Honey, I've called Father Flannigan. He said that if Billy starts bafing up pea soup again, we should kill him.Riff
Well, I guess there are *some* advantages to only having one nostril.Riff
Look Bil, it's not my fault that you put off changing his bedpan for the last three days. Now get in there and get to it!Danimal
O.K. he's de-toxed again but if he doesn't stay clean this time he's outta here!Haystack
Billy learned an importance lesson about intolerance that day. If you step outside wearing one of your sister's dresses, the other boys in the neighborhood are going to beat the piss out of you.Mister Sinister
He claims Dolly bit it off, but I think it dissolved from the cocaine abuse.Kurt L.
Our prayers aren't working. God must be calling Billy home.Greg J
I told him that heroin withdrawal is something we've all been through, and to stop being such a crybaby!Pop I. Doyle
...that's right, a WHOLE box of tissues. He's a regular Peter North!Big Poppa
I told the little dumb ass not to go picking trouble with that Calvin down the street, sure he's a wuss, but that tiger! Whoo boy!A. Nonymous
Look at the little idiot, he's got snot all over his face, you sure can tell he's your son.Meem
"I've been giving him arsenic all morning, but he just won't die!"zeddows 95
*giggle* Watch his face when I tell him about the enema.Horselover Fat
Oh, honey, his first hangover. Isn't it precious?Kurt L.
Dennis Mitchell, the little shit, told Lucy that Billy was the one that knocked the football out of her hands with his slingshot. She had Peppermint Patty, that bull dyke, beat the piss outta Billy.BK
I've replaced Billy's regular coffee with Folger's Crystals...let's see if he notices.Diggit
Yes he's sick. Like all of us he's sick of waiting for that "Disclaimer for Uptitght types" that is forever "Coming Soon"...Captain Nitpick
Of course, I know the ltttle fuck is faking it, but this tabasco, jalapino and ex-lax soup will have him up and "running" in no time flat!Orion the Hunter
My moron parents never figured it out. The "Fag Boy" banner above his bed. The obvious physical signs of the disease. No, they deluded themselves with chicken soup and Robitussin. --Dolly,MemoirsZenmaster
Well, keep looking... if you can find the negatives, I won't have to play along with his sick little "nurse" fantasies anymore.anon
Let's wait awhile longer on the anti-biotics. Your mother's gonna try waving a dead chicken over him again.zazu
Just so you know, if he's pulling the dick-in-the-Kleenex-box trick again, I'm gonna scald it in the oatmeal.Paul Roub
Did you get a hold of Kervorkian?Rishmawy
Watch and see what happens when he sees his nose floating in the soup!john hunter
Our little boy got into his first fight with a gang of Negro kids today. I'm so proud!RREA
Two more doses of this stuff and I think all those life insurance payments will pay off.anon
Back to the DFC Archive index