DFC #77

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Three little maids from school are we . . .anon

Yeah, it's a nice boat, but what with all those animals?zazu

The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming./ Flow, Morphia, slow. Let the sun and light come streaming/ Into my life ... Into my life ...Riff

By all the forces of darkness, I command thee to stop!Riff

Hah! And they laughed at us when we moved into this houseboat! Who's sorry now?Riff

I *knew* we should heve never let dad fix the electric house painter.Riff

And on this wall, you can see one of Jackson Pollack's earlier works. As you can see, his famous "streak" style is present, but he has actually attempted to draw in a background and the splotches all face the same direction. Now, this next piece ...Riff

"Oh God ... Mom's mud wrestling again ..."Laurie J. Chapman

Yea, verily, all was not well; for the Keaneites were smote not only with a plague of very fast locusts. For then, the youngest, Peter Jebediah, was thus afflicted with demons, causing his head to spin in unnatural directions." -- Kid's Illustrated Forgotten Books of the BibleMister Sinister

Check it out, Dad's stopped trying to get back in the house; now he's just sitting on the corner and crying!Greg J

Mom! That weirdo Calvin's running down the street naked again! Can I please call the police this time?Kurt L.

Wow, hey, like, Jeffy, man, wouldn't it be cool if it was raining beer?dmitri

And when it rains, the Jeffy-Eating tree uproots itself from the ground and goes in search of prey.Magus

Looks like the National Tobacco Spitting Competition is back in town.Kaazmik

Check it out. I told Dolly that if she put her mitten on the end of a 30 foot steel rod, she could wave to God. I can't believe she bought it!!Pope Rich

Next come the locusts, then dogs will be born inside out. I'm tellin' ya, the year 2000 is gonna make Dante's Inferno look like DisneyWorld.chasphoc

"Looks like all those losers from Shoe are starting to re-think their choice of office space..."The Turtle

Look Jeffy! God's cryin' cause you touched yourself.jerright

Great, those kids across the street get a cat in the hat on this cold stormy day, and all we get is a drunk dad, a vacant mother, and a sister we've all three had. jp

"Quick, Jeffy, get out in the storm -- maybe if you get your ass really wet, it'll shrink!"zeddows 95

Go get that raindrop and bring it to me. If it's the right one you can have your Easter candy back.Horselover Fat

Daddys home from the bar! He hit the fire hydrant....again.Dark Duke of Denver

DAMN! I know that "lightning never strikes twice" shit is a myth, but daddy's been hit three... JESUS!!! FOUR TIMES!!!Orion the Hunter

Hey, look! That Ranma guy next door just turned into a BABE!anon

Whoa! The Hendersons' house landed right on Dolly! Is that fuckin' poetic or what?zazu

Hey Dondi! If you're gonna tape garbage bags to your car windows, don't you think you should use the clear ones, you drunken loser! zazu

Holy fuck! That's the biggest goddam flock of birds I've ever seen!Such a nice boy!

Uh oh, another rainy Saturday. You know what that means: a game of family Twister. I wouldn't mind so much if Dad would let us keep our clothes on.MechaGumby

**sigh**...looks like there's no ballgame today. Hey, who's up for a circle jerk?El Vez

"Dammit, Jeffy, I told you to shut up! Now that triffid's heard us!"Paul T. Riddell

INK!Bill Fortier

The flash flooding is sweeping Dolly away! I call "dibs" on her room!Nethicus

The acid content is pretty high tonight; Mommy only made it 20 yards before melting.Wrench

We told you, Dolly! The switch for turning off the thunder is at least a foot underground! Shove the rod in deeper! Use both hands!Rotter

"V-a-l-u-e J-e- ............. RUN !!!!! "Vice Pope Doug

Wow. Look at that guy from the electric company twitch. How many volts do you think are going through him? Anastasia

God must have one hell of a bladder.DMW

The Wizard of Oz wasn't real. Mommy's been out there 5 minutes and she's fine.DMW

Hooters, t-shirts, and a sudden downpour - life is good.DMW

There goes the Wilsons' house... the Browns' house... our car... Barfy... boy, tornadoes are cool!Kurt L.

P.J. looked on in stunned silence as Jeffy and Billy kept trying to catch raindrops in their mouths with the window shut. "I must be adopted...God, please let me be adopted."anon

I knew it -- between those heavy grocery bags and your skateboard on the walk, there was no way Mom would make it to the door unscathed. Oh well, show's over. Let's watch "Animaniacs".Paul Roub

You see, Jeffy, the rain makes things grow. Next summer that tree will be perfect for lynching some poor unsuspecting minority.Hugh Jass

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