Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo.....which little fuckers got to go?DrDave
Stop looking at me like that, Dolly. You've got nine other fingers -- and goddammit, I'm hungry!Dofang
He who controls the spice controls the universe, kids.Nethicus
It's CHAPSTICK, you filthy-minded little goobers, CHAPSTICK!anon
Oops! Only ONE bullet left; maybe I can get you both with it anyway...anon
Amyl nitrate. Want some?Bill fortier
No! Get your own 9-volt battery!Craig
Both children sat in fear, hoping that the other would get hit first so the other could run for cover.Greg J
Dolly and P.J. were struck speechless. Was their father actually stupid enough to put lipstick on in DFC country?Greg J
Kodak moment: Bil teaches the kids the proper way to use chewin' tobacco.Greg J
That caterpillar was the last pet Dolly ever showed to her father.Greg J
See, Dolly, it's easy...just distract the little bastard with your right hand, then WHAM. Left hook.Zenmaster
We've got enough youth, Jeffy, what we need is a fountain of smart!Yankmaster
Hey, don't tell mommy that I'm drawin on better lips, or her lazy ass will expect a set so she can suck Bumstead's ass off better! And I say no fuckin way to that!!!!!anon
It's called "Prozac", and they're the only thing that's keeping me from strangling you little yard apes.RBByrnes
Hey kids, you notice this is the first time I've actually spoke in one of these cartoons? Usually I'm molesting Billy or beating the crap out of Jeffy. This is kinda cool.Hugh Jass
QUIT STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!!! That's the last time I let you kids watch "Children of the Damned."The Unmasked Revenger
Well, it's alot like the time we licked the toad, only better!sue
"Because I used all mine up. Now don't tell Mommy."Tim Harrod
....that's why the lady is a tramp!zazu
They called us the "Rat Pack"..me, Dean, Frank and Sammy. We were like royalty in those days...those crazy, kookoo days. zazu
I always kiss my bullets for good luck before loading. Now go get Mommy, Billy and Jeffy. We're going to have a little family meeting.MechaGumby
A little dab here, and a little more on the collar, and Mommy gets so worried she does anything I want.Roy
I'm having trouble deciding which of you kids gets this bullet. Any suggestions?Just Say No!
Bil never could figure out why suppositories never seemed to bring him relief.Blake
PJ, stop staring at the readers. You're not supposed to be able to see them.Riff
You see? It's that simple. Now you can draw in you own mouth any time you want, and you can stop bugging me about it.Riff
Master Lee says I have to stand like this for about 20 minutes to improve my balance, but man, it's hell on my lips!Riff
Sorry about that, PJ. But look at the bright side! Dolly's got a little sister, now!Riff
Because when I wear it, I look like Robert Smith of The Cure, but when your mommy wears it, she looks like a cheap little whore.Craig
Kids, do a favor for daddy and fetch one of mommy's nighties.el Marko
Kids, you got to kiss a lot of ass to get a raise from King Features!Frenchy, the toad swallower
In an effort to avoid outrageous dental expenses, Bil, with his right hand, cleverly distracted the kids with the old "eat the crayon trick". Thus, with his left hand, he was able to administer the punch that was to knock out Dolly's loose tooth, (and a couple extra). Coyote
Stop begging! And looking at me like that ain't gonna get you any! Now why don't you little yard apes go out and score your own joints?!RBByrnes
Daddy shows Dolly & PJ the gesture he directed at Mr. Gotti that resulted in the "accidental" deaths of Billy, Jeffy, & Mommy.anon
"...and then mommy put the clothespin on my lip and said, 'Bill, how many times do I have to tell you to stop drawing yourself to look like a centaur?'"Clay
You would not believe how many "Keane wears lipstick" captions I received from the bozos for this cartoon. --The DFC Administrator, MemoirsThe Lawyer
Look, Mommy wears lipstick, right? And we have equality in our household, right? So shut up! This shade looks better on me anyway!GroundFault
Dry weather, huh? Billy says your lips get chapped from kissing ass all dayGroundFault
No, you stupid little doofusses! The acid tab goes on your TONGUE, like this!Kittycat
And then the bullet came out of Grandpa's gun and hit him right here. That's why he's in the sky right now.Kittycat
The secret is to lick the paper before you put the pot in it - watch.db
Yes, a pinch between your teeth and gum gives you real tobacco satisfaction.anon
It's called Magenta Magic. Now go away. I'm going to be late meeting Butchie at the gay bar.anon
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