DFC #5

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Uh, Bil, they found our stash again.ABrickShy

"Mother, you were right to tell me not to marry my own cousin."t.p.

But when does it become *justifiable* homocide?Roxanne LeReaux

God, you wouldn't believe how hot Jeffy can make me using a fly-swatter.Roxanne LeReaux

Yes, I've already taken the pills. And I'd like....closed casket please.anon

I've tried that, but they keep finding their way home.anon

Okay. The pilot light is off, the gas is on, and I'll leave a candle burning in the living room. Remember to act upset when they call.Blake

Hello, Vitae Society? ... Bite Me!dt

Ted? Ted Ward? Why I haven't seen you since our freshman ye... Me? Well, you know, still living the simple single life, still waiting for that perfect someone.anon

Um, yes, maybe you can help me... I hear you have a special on toddler-sized tombstones?Gabriel Meister

"Damn it, Judy... send over that copy of It's a Wonderful Life NOW!"anon

..oh yeah...do me you *yawn* hot stud..oh god you're so big...mmmm..harder...I'm coming... *cough*...oh yes...*yawn* ..yes.. zazu

"Christ almighty, Susie, I take two seconds for a nooner with the mailman and the little bastards trash the place."matt

I know that I'm slowly going insane, and that my life expectancy is dropping every second, but, let me tell you, it's worth it for that hefty welfare check.anon

Bil? Next time you're feeling playful, go hop on Mary Worth. At least she's post-menopausal.anon

"Screw the Pope, Bil. You're getting that vasectomy."Jeffy

I swear to God, Bill, you bring any more sugar in this house ....!anon

Wouldn't it be cheaper to have them all put in one casket?anon

Hello Water Department? Have you had a report of anything strange in the water?Lisa Kendrick

Bil's not home right now, he's stalking that guy who's been dissin' his strip.Bil Keane

I've got P.J. in a choke-hold now, then Jeffy's gonna' get a fly-swatter enema.Roy Olsen

Sorry, but I gotta go! Billy sawed my arm off with a broken plate, and P.J.'s probably gonna have my leg off in a few seconds.Magus

Better Business Bureau? Yes, I'd like to register a complaint about a new product called "Flintstones Chewable Crystal Meth for Kids" . . .Pete B.

"Hello? 9-1-1? Help me fast! I'm getting gang-raped by my own little brats!!!"AK

Bil, I said "rid of them", not Ritalin!TCK

Rhythm Method *this*, Father Murphy!Kittycat

All right! If you kids don't settle down, a little someone named PJ will get morning's worth of whiz right on the noggin!Kittycat

"Mommy, look at P.J.! Freud was right!"anon

Prozac! Take me away! -- Justin Greeneanon

I'm sorry, what was that? I was thinking about the child that I'm killing with my knees.retsaM spoO

For all his concern with the south, Faulkner was actually seeking out the nature of man.anon

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