DFC #376

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

That was a great eye-poke...but your WOOO-WOOO-WOOO needs a LOT of work...R.J.M.

I see that you've got a Close Encounters thing going with those potatoes.R.J.M.

You fool! The portable dimentional gateway is not a toy!Mr. ?

...On second thought, after what you did to PJ's eyes, how 'bout you just leave my finger alone?Gen. Sedgwick

No, Mom, there really is a baby's head materializing in the middle of the table...and what is blotter acid, anyway?CrazyJose

"The Computer Age allowed my ever-increasingly alcoholic father to employ newer and cheaper short cuts in his cartoons. From 1983-1989, Thel's face was often drawn using the ASCII characters ' : V I ' -- From 'Circle of Denial', by Jeff Keane, MCSESmokey

"Red wine with fish?!? Heathens!"Westur the Unspeakable

PJ closes his eyes in disgust as Thel, after her midmorning Percodan and gin sling, once again tries to wax anything thay doesn't move fast enough to escape.Tempus Fugit, the Time Flier

"As you can see in this slide, the baby eventually learns the concept of object permanence. No matter how often he shuts his eyes his family is always there when he opens them. In the next illustration you'll see the same baby trying to impale himself on a fork..." from Dr. Spock's "Child psychology and Baby Care", first edition.Delsyn

"But mommy, HOW can PJ forsee my death in those bones?"Kurt Hectic

"Second of all, when it says you should rinse his eyes if the shampoo contacts them, I dont think you're supposed to use paint thinner." Terminus (caption wrangling)

That's him, officer, I'd know the little bastard anywhere!Gen. Sedgwick

Today on Jim Henson's Shakespeare Babies: baby Patrick Stewart cries when he is upstaged by young Richard Burton.hangtownman

"Hey! Why aren't my arms long enough to reach my eyes?"p@

Well, my reaction would be the same if I learned I just ate spam, bacon, spam, my own legs, an' spam.Namgubed the Merry Elf

It wasn't the revelation that he had slain his father and married his mother that drove 'Lil Oedipus over the edge. It was the Greek Chorus incarnated as a mewling three-year-old that drove him to put out his eyes with diaper pins.Lloyd Dobler

"First of all, I really think PJ should be in a bath tub. Second of all, when it says you should rinse his eyes if the shampoo contacts them, I think you're supposed to leave them in their sockets."Magus (Salvaging Captions)

P.J., you bastard! You're not doing that 'cute baby' schtick again are you? Go ahead and take your hands down. Check out the pupils, Thel! I guess you won't be quite as popular around here, now that everyone knows you're a back-stabbing prick who steals other people's weed!Marlboro

Don't play peek-a-boo with that douche-bag! He cheats like a sunuvabitch.Marlboro

Gosh, PJ, I guess I was lucky. I only got these hairy palms.Marlboro

If it's taken him this long to master 'peek-aboo', I really think we should consider special ed.Riff

mommy, it's supposed to be 'here comes the airplane into the hangar'. that 'ghost of your dead granddad come to wreak his revenge' bit is scaring the shit out of him!!monkey fucking a football

What, this? He finally figured out that 'baby' in the mirror was him. Poor bastard...Doc Evil

"Tou see, Thel? I fucking told you those things were going to put someone's eye out!"Darth Tigger

"Where's PJ?! He's right THERE you stupid cunt!" Lord Zombie

Thel, flying high on her "little pick-me-up", coats PJ's face with Thompson's Weather Seal.Buoy

Spitting up, covering his eyes, lapsing into catatonia...nothing P.J. did could stop Jeffy's rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings."L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

No, no no! Binge, then purge!L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

Well . . . how his hands got superglued to his face isn't nearly as important as the lesson he learned today.-Colon Bowel---

P.J.'s a vampire, for fuck's sake! What did you think a crucifix would do to him?amh

Dear God, thought P.J., how has it come to this? Two years ago I was doing Shakespeare in the park. Now I'm an extra in a finger-pulling gag. anon

Being the token Asian kid was tough. Early on, I made the mistake of correctly pronouncing "spaghetti", and I never got another line again. But the worst was when Jeffy had his "fits". Once, he flung a dozen eggs at me after he thought I looked "cuter" than him. Thel of course, blamed me. Excerpt from "Yellow boy in the white circle" -- the autobiography of Pyong Jong Keane The Dog

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