DFC #288

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

A wave of nostalgia swept over them during Billy's rendition of Petula Clark's Downtown.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Dad's really gonna be pissed off when he hears Scott Adams' autograph is worth more than his.Anastasia

Autograph signings are so cool. Did you see how I reduced Dennis Rodman to tears?Anastasia

Who would've thought you could find a 3 foot bong in a souvenir shop in the mall!!Bil's Drug Buddy

I'm surprised Dad's organs were worth so much.Treb

"I may be a happy camper, but I'm an ecstatic looter!"Randall

Oh fuck off! When Daddy has an affair, we all get bikes!Truant

Meanwhile, at the Oriental Massage parlor down the street, Bil's getting his *own* souvenir.hogleg

Proud as a peacock with his new purse, PJ strolled merrily down the lane, momentarily forgetting about the evil woman at Supercuts...Dr. Zam (back for his bimonthly appearance)

Even from the impossible zone, the "Good on you, Mate" shirt continued to operate in the DFC by sending out spies, the "I'm a Happy Camper" shirt among them.Magus

"I get to club the next store clerk! I get to club the next store clerk!"Magus

Another of Bil's twisted power games. PJ put his shirt on inside-out, and Dolly and Jeffy had sense enough to cover their slogans, but poor illiterate Billy's I'm A Penis Chomper drew stares and gasps.Galahad

Oh boy. Thanks Mom. I've been looking for the 19" Love Kong for months. Bubba

That George dude sure looks familiar! Hey, isn't he the one who hates brocoli"?!Kevy

Dumb little twerps, thought Thel, Don't they realize they just bought souveners of their own town?Ratman

Remember, act non-chalantly! He should be able to free himself in about five minutes.Kevin

"Wow, first looting, now raping and pillaging! Home-school is the best, Mom!"Generik

Who woulda thought the monkey was so talented?Jenn Dolari

Two bags of cherry bombs, one box of nerve gas cannisters, one box of smoke grenades, a giant 'Heil Hitler!' poster and a live boa constrictor. This is gonna be the best thanksgiving day parade ever!Space Mutant

Dad never bought us this much stuff when he tried to spite Mommy.Ralph Emetic

Man! As soon as Bil falls asleep on the sofa, I'm gettin' out my new official Red Sox bat and WHOMP! WHAM! SPLAT! Like an over-ripe melon! KRAK! BANG! BIFF!!! HAHAHA! WHAMMMM!!! BIL GO DEAD NOW!!!! Oh, and thanks for the tee-shirt, too, Ma.Rotter

"Sure it was all "Washington", "Bush", "Curious" or "Michael" related, but I picked up a great "Faith" poster and some wooden-teeth cookies!kinky-jew

What a great place for huge dildos and cock rings!!!! I didn't know Liberace's brother was still alive!K-man

"Nuthin' like a good helium enema!"Dr. Schmuck

Mom! We're perpetual children living in an anachronistic white bread world. Why would we want to remember any of this?BretttMaverick

Man, they've really cheapened this Timothy McVeigh trial...gaijin

Check out Mommy's stiff, bloated walk. Next stop: Suppositories By Jane!Trevita

Mommy may have the worst hair-style in all the oxygen-laden ecosysytems combined but it still makes shop-lifting SO much easier!7 Minutes in Walmart

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