DFC #261

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Six years of tunneling under my bed and I'm finally out of here. So long screws! See ya in the funny papers!The Keaneshank Redemption

I'm not coming out, and you can't make me wear that clown suit!R.J.M.

'Look Bitch, what I'm doing under the bed is not important! What's important is the fact that I woke up with a halo, now get on yer knees and whorship me!Bil's Drinkin' Buddy

I was just looking under here for my other sock and I found dad's dignity. Actually, it turned out to be the sock. But it's a pretty good metaphor, no? Ah, go fuck yourself. Not that Guy Again

"My GOD!", Thel thought to herself, lustily gazing at the lump rising from the beneath the covers. "He's hung like a RHINO!"Alphax the Dimensional Rapist

Smelling danger, the melon-headed Jeffy (Keanus Jeffius) moves quickly, setting up a decoy and scrambling under cover in less than a second. Then, when the time is right, it will reveal itself and launch poisoned spines at its would-be predator.Thany

Jeffy's gone and he won't be back until you buy an oral thermometer and ditch the rectal one.Anastasia

One morning, a young Mr. Goodwrench realizes what he really wants to be...Mr. Ben

Damn it mom! This is a trap for that hot slut Goldilocks. Get out of here NOW!Schmuck

Mom, why does it disturb me that Dad can draw great toilets, butts, and beds but when it comes to other pieces of funiture he can't draw shit?Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon (yeah, I know butts aren't furniture to you but they are to me)

After careful examination, Thel realized the tongue in her pocket did not belong to Jeffy.anon

"Hey, Thel; there WAS a monster under my bed; it was Bil and his stash of back issues of Swank."anon

"Guess what, Mommy? Dolly swallows!"Bil's Broken Condom Club

"Hello, Ms. Keane, Jeffy has already gotten up and gone to school without his morning enema. He's certainly got a clean colon, Ms. Keane, no need for the enema today. And anyway, he's at school. Definitely not under the bed. No, sir."phil

Natural light! No! Don't let it touch me!! AAGGHH!!!Aint sayin'.

"You were right mom; it worked like a charm. Now, do you want to go tell Bil he just made it with a teddy bear in a drunken haze or shall I?"Jizmo the Wonder Horse

Just kiss the bear, Mrs. Halitosis-of-Death!Namgubed the Merry Elf

Holy shit, it's true! Your tits will even give my teddy bear a stiffie!Riff

Just taking a few measurements. You do realize the foot of this bed is at least two feet wider than the head. How the fuck you find sheets to fit it, I'll never know.Riff

Suddenly, Jeffy was painfully caught in a compressing spring, and No Pants Day came to an abrupt end.Jizmo the Wonder Horse

Jeffy's imitation of the sun was improving greatly, but Thel was still not impressed.ice-9

"Ah HA! Fooled your ass! I smelled almonds all the way down the hall! You ain't makin' SHIT off me in your little insurance scheme!"Tillman

Ha! Daddy didn't even CARE! He was just happy to see someone smiling for once!Das Fed

Thel continued to stare at her son, sleeping peacefully in his bed. She was sure there was something wrong, but what?Shifter

Translated from the Japanese: "Ha ha! I am so silly Jeffy! Now you see me laughing as you try to feed the bear! Hello is now so fun in the morning!" -- From Biru Kinosawa's Kazoku CircusSir Chuck

"What? Suzie Derkins ran away? Jeez, that's a shame. Well, I suuuure hope they find her. Seeing as how she's probably miles and miles from here by now..." anon

Yes, Nurse Thel, I've been a very naughty teddy. I should be punished. But first, I think Jeffy needs an enema!anon

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