"Why're you such a doormat? Why don't you make dad buy a tile floor? What about a damn microwave oven? Are you a slave to the stove? What kind of role-model are you trying to be? Don't you have any pride? Ya know, Gloria Steinem once said . . . ."phonsux
No no no. You don't just throw the buds into the brownie mix, you boil the THC out in butter, then add that.anon
Mommy! How can you ignore Jeffy when he wants to show you his new "Gay Power" tattoo on his left arm?Mr. Ben
Hurry! Daddy needs more sausage! He wanted to finish the "Josef Stalin-wurst" statue today!Mighty Owl
Don't get your hopes up, Jeffy. All she's doing is boiling P.J.'s old raggedy diapers.Stir Crazy
Having played Mortal Kombat one afternoon to many, the young Jeffy Chan prepared his devistating Spine Strike technique! Prof. Moriarity
Disney's "Family Circus on Ice" went broke in a week. Dad tried paying them back with free product placements, but that never generated enough money either.anon
Dinnertime again, and with it, the ritual. Once more, Jefft steeled himself to give Thel her nightly spit polish.Shifter
Mommy, th' floor looks wonderful! Did ya fellate Mr. Clean, again?Doc Evil
More malt and hops mom! And heavy on the saltpeter. Maybe I could get ONE good night's sleep.Green Machine
No, PJ, you start with the fist, and work your way up to the elbow!Schickelgruber
Consider yourself lucky. When *I* raided the cookie jar she put *BOTH* my hands in.Gen. Sedgwick
Though Dolly tried to warn her and Jeffy tried to get away, Thel was about learn why it wasn't smart to download C-4 recipes from the Internet.Delsyn
Mommy, I know we can't afford reg'lar spices, but Jeffy's ear wax makes the stew way too bitter!!Vice Pope Doug
Could you two get out of the way? We're bringing the Zamboni through.ferret
Awww, Mommy! What fun is watching you cook if "Soylent Green" jokes are in the Impossible Zone?The Outsider
Jeffy learned NOT to mamba while standing on a chair with frigid women who are holding boiling pots of water... no matter what your sister tells you...The only guy in America who likes "Murphy Brown"
Step one -- pushing Jeffy on the chair behind unsuspecting Thel -- was successful. Step two --- waiting for the water (two/thirds hydrogen) was working. Step three demanded Jeffy to release the chloride pellets which, when reacted to the hydrogen gas, would overcome Thel. The two children would then steal the station wagon and head to Caracas. But silly old Jeffy didn't bring chloride -- he brought the FLOURIDE toothpaste!Andrew Milner
Oh wow! Steamed air for lunch! Tazabby
Great. Jeffy, not only did you spend the entire day with Uncle Roy, decorating the basement, but now here you are, trying to learn to cook! Come on, it's time you went to a John Wayne film festival.Anastasia
Mom! I said to add the HCl slowly. You're lucky you didn't set it off.Rice Dream
Just how in God's name did you manage to burn water?Anastasia
Think of it this way Mommy, even if your food does suck, you've invented a great Jeffy repellant.Livin' In Deep 13
Cross your eyes and move your head back a little, and tell me if you don't start seeing the word "redrum" on her back.jedi mind trip
Ahem. I am not writing a caption involving Jeffy and what he's about to do to Thel's ass. Good for me.Preacher/Judge
"Okay Bil's pretty shitfaced at this point. Who gets to 'season' his veggies first?"Daddy's Li'l Angel
With awed fear, Jeffy viewed his mother's opening of the magical portal that would release Nizabook, The Popcorn Demon.Tazabby
"...and soylent mauve is made of people and crayons!"Heath
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