DFC #207

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

. . . and you'll stay there until we can pry Kittycat out of the cookie jar too!The Hanged Man

Stealing, son. A sin. This is why our garden has been ravaged by locusts every summer for the last three years. The whole family is forced to bear the weight of your evil ways!Mighty Owl

I have already looked in the cookie jar, and my other cymbal is NOT in there. Now think again!skinhed

"Well, if I don't get those two quantum black holes back right now, the universe is doomed and you're going to bed without supper!"Paul T. Riddell

Thel revelled in her moment of glory. She grilled Jeffy for a half an hour, knowing all the while that the Ex-Lax "chocolate" chip cookies he had stolen were working their terrible magic.Larry Hastings

I wish we still had the dog, thought PJ as he sweated inside the skin.Prof. Moriarity

"Those pills were RU486, not speed, you moron. Do you realise how much Mommy depends on those since Uncle Roy went to NAMBLA summer camp without Daddy?"phonsux

I want my money back, you little shit. Do you know how many $2.00 blow jobs it took to fill this jar? Joe Breeden

"What do you mean you let it go? That little green shithead would have owed us a pot of gold by morning!" anonymouse

...and this scene depicts the Blessed Saint Jeffry moments before his martyrdom, when he cried out, "I shall not let my finger rest till it hath been pulled!"Blue Gargantua

"Oh, yeah? Well, Ida Know and Not Me don't like narcs. When I tell them you finked on them, they're gonna cap your ass."Thel

Yeah, I know it's Daddy's. Yours will be in there too if I ever catch you sleeping around!!Ron Martin

We can't go back to the last panel, stupid! Stop living in the past.Evil Ed

"Cut!" yelled Bil. "What the hell is Sam doing in the standard 'Not Me' cartoon? If he's not outta there in five seconds, I'll erase him alive!"Steve R. Hastings

I don't care what daddy threatend you with, it was your responsibility to keep the drunken bastard out of the grocery money!The Beast

Now don't you dare tell me Ida Know ate all the cook... Oh for Christ's sake, cut! Bil!, Sam's staring into the camera again! Of all the times for Barfy to get run over by a pizza truck!Delsyn

Ok, Mister "I don't know where this Sony Playstation came from", let's talk about why we hide the mortgage money from daddy!Delsyn

Jeffrey Dahmer Keane! You are the only person in this house who would eat a whole jar of semi-fresh human kidneys!!Vice Pope Doug

"Billy's Got A Broken Leg!", "Dolly's being gang raped!" Whine, Whine, Whine! That's all I ever hear! What about my needs? I'm out of fucking chocolate! But, I'm sure you little assholes are too absorbed to worry about that!Amazing AlKirk

You think that "sieg heil" is going to help you when our Fuhrer comes for coffee tonight and we don't have any cookies for him?marty gray

All right, we'll look, but my dyke wig had BETTER be there or you're in BIG trouble!Gen. Sedgwick

As Jeffrey explained that "Not Me" had taken the cookies, Barfy seemed to beg the reader to call the SPCA.MiZcHiVeIz

A few minutes later, police were swarming the house, Jeffy was stone dead with shards of the jar stuck in his skull, and Thelma was being handcuffed.anon

While the argument over the lost heroine raged over his head, Sam lamented the fact that the kids' legs were just too short to hump.Eblis

You can go outside and play as soon as I finish showing you the horrors of abortion.Kukla, Fran & Maggot

Knowing that Jeffy was due for another viscious beating, Sam waited eagerly....maybe if he was lucky this time it would be his turn to eat.Tazabby

No, I do not believe that Dolly broke the Great Seal that was keeping Asmodeus bound in this cookie jar. Now we all have to slave in the pits of Hell for seven thousand years. Go to your room!anon

I remember many a night when Thel would terrorize the idiot with the open oven door and her "cremation urn". Sometimes she'd even go so far as to fasten huge iron shackles around his ankles, and why the neighbors didn't call the cops because of the screaming remains a mystery. ---Barfy Keane, "A Dog's Life" anon

Peering through his Ultra-zoom camera, FBI Agent Fox "Spooky" Mulder began to pack up his equipment. This X-file would have to remain closed. The dog was on to him.jedi mind trip

Sam was puzzled. The fight was getting ugly . . . but on whose side would he intervene? Thelma, the ever-estrous Alpha Female . . . or Jeffy, the insolent pup who pulled his tail at every opportunity. What to do . . . what to do?Hideo Spanner

Don't give me this "The cookies got tired of the tyrannical way I ran the kitchen, so they organized a revolution and left" crap, young man!Mr. Ben

The arrow on the right is the prime cut section of the melonhead. The others indicate, respectively, the flank, the chum, and the rump meat. nonentity

Back to the DFC Archive index