Well, I just spent some "quality" time with Grandma, and now I can see why Bil ended up as a drunken pervert.Tazabby
"Grandma says she knows you're here, she can smell the gin way out in the living room."mutantdog
We each gave Grandma a Thorazine this morning. She probably wont be moving again for the next 18 to 24 hours.PsycoDoc
Elvis demands to know where his rhinestone purse isno12no
Dad is trying his hand at sculpting, says he wants to update the Statue Of Liberty for the 21st century.Buford T. Justice
My fantasy is finally going to come true: Bea Arthur is gonna blow me!DainBread
Daddy's dissing Judy Garland and Uncle Roy doesn't like it one bit!Horselover Fat
Gosh...Grandma can't go out dressed up as Larry "Bud" Melman!!Kevy
I don't care how in love you are. I'm not calling Aunt Jean "Daddy".brainiac
Grandma's demanding to be called the "Fuhrer" and wants to kill all who oppose her iron grip. I think it's time we put her in one of those homes we saw on 60 Minutes.Livin' In Deep 13
Man, that lady is outta sight! She's been there, done that, met just about every kind of cat!Mighty Owl
Thank GOD you're here! She's tellin' hysterectomy stories again and I was supposed to be at the sandbox fifteen minutes ago.Mighty Owl
Every visit from her is like a game of "horse". Only we're spelling "nursing home", not "horse", and playing with lives, not basketballs.Mighty Owl
Mom... dad put on his old bell bottoms and insists I call him "Super Bad Ass Sweet Daddy Jones". Does this mean we have to sleep in a motel again tonight?macb3th
Tell me again why you thought the stuffed corpse of Orville Redenbacher would make a good addition to the living room.The 4-Star Pope
" I KNOW the reception's better when she puts the Jiffy Pop pan on her head, but Jesus, can't we just get cable?"spook
If Grandma tells me that story about her being the real San Francisco Treat one more time it's gonna be her on the plate the next time we have an eating scene!toade
Well she's propped up good enough to fool the social security people, but who knows how long we can fight off the stench.JoJo The Dawgfaced Boy
"I let it slip that her ex-husband is haunting the house and she's insisting on staying over here 'ghostbusting.' Get me a freakin' shovel."Cole Mitchell
Ever since Gramma saw "Sling Blade," she won't stop doing standing like that, sticking her jaw out and grunting "m-HMMMM!"Orrin Bloquy
Grandma's on another tirade on the dangers of technology...she's looking at our computer with that evil gleam in her eye.Mr. Ben
Well, even she turned me down for the prom. Guess I'll go and hang myself now.Tazabby
Christ, Thel! Put some clothes on! Do you want Grandma to see your bruises?Shifter
"Ms. Roswell's awesome cranial structure is warping the geometry of our living room again."Moorlock
Her speech is barely coherent, she can't form a true sentence, her clothes scream 1974, and she's lost all control of her bowels. Looks like Santa Claus is coming early this year, and he's bringin' a big fat inheritance.Mighty Owl
Gramma's pissed as hell! She's standing up and she can't fall down!OM
"I'm gonna be a pimp just like him when I grow up."sINad
Gramma won't share her medication!!Vice Pope Doug
Phew-weee!! I think Gramma buys the cheap Depends!!Vice Pope Doug
Have you seen my sidekick uniform? Super-Granny wants to go wreak havoc on the forces of evil.The 4-Star Pope
"She's actually just a cardboard cut-out, but with Bil's myopic coke bottles, he'll think she's a guest and he'll continue to draw us furniture."phonsux
Gramma gave me a wedgie when I asked her if she was working as a reference librarian!a
It's either Grandma poorly drawn or an invading Martian. I'll let you handle it either way.Peon
The "Duchess of Funk" out there would like a word with you.Geoduck
Look! I'm wearin' Gran'ma's dentures!J. Wally Thompson
Only Gramma could make a collostomy fun.The Rooster/Cock: Devine Betrayal
Jeez, give her a Wal*Mart uniform and suddenly she's Ilsa, She-Wolf Of The S.S.!Rotter
Your date's here. Boy, are you in for a nasty suprise.Anastasia
Frankly, her fashion sense is abominable and I REFUSE to work with her anymore. See the "no polyester" clause in my contract, babe.Skywise
I tried to give gramma a hug, but my HORRIBLY STUNTED ARMS WON'T EVEN REACH AROUND HER NECK!samuel clemens
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