DFC #203

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I'm back from the Japanese manga version of DFC. It'll take a while for the speed lines to wear off.Felix Hunger

Every day after school it was the same. Billy would walk in, see his family, and unleash an unholy shriek of black despair.halaq

Though it panicked Jeffy and PJ, Thel was secretly delighted with the latest application of Bil's Midas touch.The Outsider

Look, Mom, I've had only one cavity -- YOURS!! Yeah, I know, Dolly counts too, but I love that line.Gen. Sedgwick

Jeffy wondered if he could strangle Billy before he showed Mom the Tailhook photos...Beware of Dog

As Billy floated into the room, the very fabric of space-time warping about him, it was clear he had been successful with his project for the science fair.marty gray

Look, do you love me as much as Forrest Gump's mom loved him? 'Cause, man, I ain't gonna make it to Fifth Grade on my grades!Rotter

Don't even think about fucking with my aura!anon

See me! Feel me!Mike Warnke

Hi. I'm your *new* Billy.Phunksta

Start spreading the news... I'm leaving today... I'm gonna be a part of it... in old New York! Thank you, I'm here all week.Evil Ed

As his family stood by and watched in horror, Porcupine Boy demonstrated his newfound talents.Dr. Zam

The family was stunned. Not only had Billy survived the dreaded "Hot Wax" torture at the carwash, he had emerged from the experience with an attractive high-gloss luster anon

Billy's carelessness had disrupted "Hands Across the Living Room"; PJ and Jeffy knew that when Bil emerged from behind the door, there would be Hell to pay.Cole Mitchell

While Billy shows off his new beautiful singing voice, Jeffy begins to wonder whether he's next to be castrated.Kevy

This guy named Homer let me work a shift at the Nuclear Power Plant for him!Coalcracker

After his infamous "Piss Christ", Andre Serrano suffered sever artist's block and resorted to endless variations on the christ theme. This pen and ink drawing, "Billy Keane Christ", is typical of the period - Handbook of 20th Century ArtAmazing AlKirk

Tests came back negative!anon

Billy had gotten to the point where he barely even noticed the mangled stump that had once been his left hand. But P.J. and Jeffy still trembled at the sight, and the memory of Dolly's maniacal cackle as she sneered "That's what vagina dentata means."Paul Roub

The door burst open and Billy launched his blades. Thel and PJ were taken out right away. Jeffy was able to use the moves sensei taught him to survive the initial attack. Now it was payback time.nonentity

Hey Mommy, guess what's illegal to do at show an' tell??Vice Pope Doug

I showed the federal 'thorities the location of Jeffy's crystal meth lab -- and I got a gold star!!Vice Pope Doug

"Mom, there's a radiation leak at the school again and they want you to sign a release."Mr. Menstration

"Sometimes Billy would give off these lines. Was he talking? In pain? Really clean? Radioactive? Bil would never say. It made improvisation harder than Hell. Don't even get me started on never knowing which way the door was going to open. This one almost took my hand off." -- from I am Not Jeffy by Geoff Keane Peon

"The Jamacian Drug lords said they'd stop spiking our door if we would only pay dad's cocaine bills"Fluffy Bunny

"Shortly thereafter, Billy's constant barrage of Mormon propaganda became too much for the rest of the Keane Family to take."Blue Gargantua

The Keene family was stunned; was Billy really back from the dead, reafirming the lost faith and hope that they once had? Or was it just Dolly, back from the barber shop after getting tanked on Turtle Wax again?Bobo

Generic DFC Caption #1138: We got our first blackmail payment!Yakko

Mom! I passed a class!!!Riff

Wow Mom! I can work up a sweat just lookin' at your tits!Riff

"No, no, Dolly went with dad to the Father & Son picnic. In trade, I just gotta take care of a couple of her johns for her, which I'd much . . . much rather do."phonsux

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