DFC #171

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Look, ya little runt, when I said "get off," I meant get off the SLIDE!Gen. Sedgwick

The children would later insist to authorities that P.J. had simply fallen from the top of the slide, but violent reality of the savage truth behind the playground incident would haunt their dreams for years to come.Scott Wilson

For the last time PJ,STOP DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITY! We live in a very superstitious town. Remember what they did to Grandpa?Anastasia

I've got one word for you.... Beano!Schickelgruber

As the Keane boys made asses of themselves as usual, young Ibrahaim stood at the end of the line knowing that as soon as the spectacle ended, Nelson would turn around and resume his torment. "Curse my shriveled form!!", he lamented, "My kingdom for a nutritious first-world upbringing!!"Gil Gerard

Cut it out! This is a slide, not Daddy's leg!Schickelgruber

Damn it, P.J., this is the last time! If you get stuck in a puddle of your frozen pee one more time we're just gonna leave you there!"Ghost Grandpa

O.K. Jeffy, you're on. Ten bucks says I can punt the little fucker into the Marmaduke strip.The Most Rev.HolyOley

Keep piling on! If we can tip this thing fast enough, we'll catapult his ass into the next county!!Snuffy Smith

"I don't give a damn how happy and warm you feel right now!! If there is so much as a yellow drop on that slide, you're gonna meet the Nike Express!!!"Let Huggy Bear heal you pains

"Spawning salmon my ass! Get the hell out of the way!"Bezdomny

You see this? You see this knife? I'm not playin', man. You come any closer and these hostages are gonna bleed, man!Royone

Being the youngest, I guess PJ felt he had something to prove. I'll never forget that fateful day he took one dare too many on the "Slide at the End of the Universe"...Rusty Russell

No P.J....we don't wanna see your imitation of sperm swimming upstream! Get off!RBByrnes

The children tried to warn him, but it was too late. The carnivorous dwarf dotted line ( Liminis Carnivus Minor) had reached PJ, and was ready to devour the hapless child. Sgt. Spam

As Billy shouted incomprehensible obscenities at PJ, only Johnny, a bit player, noticed that Stephen King's "The Mist" had arrived in Phoenix.The 4-Star Pope

Don't give me any of your individualistic, goin' against the grain "Catcher in the Rye" crap! Outta the way or it's a size 6 shoe sandwich for lunch!phonsux

Get lost! We're busy playing "Last Helicopter Out Of Saigon"!anon

The bizarre pageant was always the same: the kids would form lines for blocks just to watch Billy tossing dried cuttlefish bits to his deformed, crease-headed flipper-baby brother. --excerpt, _Family Geek Show_, Python PressOrrin Bloquy

The torture shall be unrelenting until you confess that your counter-revolutionary Beijing Opera troupe performed for the Japanese Imperialist Bourgeoisie, Comrade Xiaolou!Uncle Maria

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