After 30 minutes of staring directly at the sun using Grandma's reading glasses, Dolly's eyes appear to be nothing more than small black dots.anon
Maybe if I wear these big glasses, it'll distract from my swollen legs!anon
"With these rad shades n' hot pants, Dondi will be jumpin' my bones in a heartbeat!""Uncle" Al
These sunglasses should cover up this hole in my head perfectly!Amber Dowlin
Well, yeah, I took them at the funeral... I didn't think grampa would need them six feet under...The Unmasked Revenger
"These glasses, a Pink Floyd double album, two hits of acid...I'm entertained!Tim K.
Are these the "Beer Goggles" Daddy is always talking about?Craig
Hey look!! With these magnifying glasses, I have breasts!!!Rick Lohr
"Cool! New tea-shades! Now I won't blow all of my pot money on Visine!"Paul T. Riddell
Hey Mr. Keane! Found your glasses! Now maybe you'll be able to see you only drew me one nostril, you blind old bat!GM
Why don't ya just tattoo "Dork" across my forehead?anon
With these glasses, I can be a turbo slut jes' like Madonna!ZAZU
He didn't seem to mind, but his seeing eye dog sure did!ZAZU
...an then I put these on and start screaming that someone's stolen my seeing eye dog. You should see people falling all over themselves being nice to me.Blake
"What's a hooter magnifying glass, Mr. Jacobs? This doesn't seem like much of a school project to me."anon
Then, after we were done tying up the teacher, we left her on the side of the road while we took a joy ride in the off-campus activity bus. We kept her sunglasses as souv'nirs, see mom?MichaelG
EW! I guess I shouldn't have sneezed into Daddy's new Ray-Bans. Oh, there's my other nostril!siren
She dresses me like a total goon, and can't accessorize for shit.Roxanne LeReaux
I know Daddy doesn't draw very well, but this is ridiculous. Did he put sunglasses on my shoulders or is this a really fucked-up brassiere?anon
Shit man, like these shades are totally fucking with meDave Browne
Now remember, Billy, this is what you're gonna have to wear if you keep on doing that thing in the bathroom....Pastor of Muppets
Thirty years, and the only thing that ages is my eyes? I still got the boobs of a six-year old, and the ASS of I don't know what...!Pastor of Muppets
I'll bet if my ears weren't just painted on, these would work alot better.Kyosuke
"And with these steel Gucci breast frames Daddy'll REALLY be feelin' the pain tonight!"anon
At its current rate of growth, my head will be too big for these glasses by tomorrow afternoon! GareBear
Wow, Grandma's sunglasses sure flew far after I pushed her in front of that bus!Steve Miller
"Wuu-wee! Dolly is lookin' SEEEEXXX-EEEE!!"anon
Wow! So this is what it's like in the Witness Protection Program.Ray Gaskill
"I'll be the mommy, and Billy will be the daddy. Now Jeffy, you don't come in until Billy leaves."&
If we mail these with a finger and a note that says, "Next the eyes!" they'll pay more.Nick Helms
Yes, Daddy, these are the X-Ray Specs I ordered from that comic book. Now I wanna ask you something: does Frederick's really make French maid underwear in your size, or did you have those custom-made?Andy Ihnatko
Now, just how did Madonna fit these things in her last video?Omega Wolf
Gee, it says here, "Made in Singapore." Just the item to complete my "Asian Streetwalker" look.anon
In just a few more years, I'll actually have a nose big enough to hold these up!Nato Welch
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