DFC #151

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

This is a 90's panel. The old ones where he drew us playing REAL sports are over there.Schickelgruber

You want 25 more of these before lunch? What is this, Pakistan?anon

Then after it crushed the gas station it got up on top of the movie theater and it was gonna eat everybody, but the Army shot at it with radiation bombs and it went back in the sea. By the way, I found this big funny-looking egg. I'm gonna put it in my room.anon

Man, am I glad to get that outta there...Mommy, can you wash my finger please?Jim Smith

Hey, Mom, I found this giant mutant lady bug while I was playing out by that top secret governmnet place. Can I keep it?anon

HEY...I removed the tumor, YOU do the sutures.Samwise

Quick, call an ambulance! Daddy passed out over there after passing this kidney stone!The Sordid One

You get your soccer ball, I get my nostril back, everybody's happy. Capiche?Melan Parkstrider

Mommy, how can I play soccer in a white dimensionless void?Prune Danish

Soccer ball? Uh, Jeffy's got it!Don Spudleone

Keane, Billy 'One-Nostril' : Played for two minutes with Arsenal Football Club. Like baseball's Eddie Gaedel, was used by owner to increase ticket sales via his diminutive height (2'7"). Amused fans by scoring goal by running under opponents' legs. Career ended with yellow-carding after sinking teeth into official's crotch. -- The Illustrated History of Soccer Mister Sinister

You! Liar! You told me my real father was Brazillian! I made a fool of myself out on that soccer pitch, and I blame you! Bongbrain

No, the comics that people actually read are over there.Anastasia

Ah Mr. Bond, you've fallen into my trap. Now, no one can stop me from planting a bomb at the World Cup finals. The mass panic will allow me to take over the world! HA-HA! Except for America, where no one watches soccer, of course.Anastasia

Hey, the pepperoni's deformed! GET THE PIZZA MAN BACK HERE!Joe Shmoe

Mommy, the lady next door says she's calling Family Services if you don't have a doctor look at this lymph node.F Arthur

Oh christ...Andy Capp's totally 'faced and headin' this way...Everybody RUN! Run for your lives!!!Doc Evil

No Dad, what I said was " SOCCER ". When Mom comes to, you are one dead son-of-a-bitch...Doc Evil

Okay, what wise-ass pasted Charlie Browns' halloween costume on my globe?Doc Evil

What the fuck is that blue line? If it hurts me, I litigate!Vice Pope Doug

No, the three dimensional soccer balls are over there. I only have the two dimensional kind.Soccer is for commies

We were playing soccer in the park and all of a sudden 5,000 British soccer fans appeared and beat the living crap out of Jeffy.Jojo the Spiv

Bil, I can appreciate you wanting to expand our European market, but first you gotta learn to draw a friggin soccer ball.Limahl

Can I have the bigger chocolate-chip cookie?Picante123

But the giraffe still has one ball left, see?Paul Roub

Aieee! The blue energy barrier is up again!Stefan Jones

Boy, that Cruella De Vil is nice! She gave me this neat spotted Frisbee!anon

Too long have we labored under the heel of the oppressor!! We will rebuild our army! We will remilitarize the Rhineland! We will invade Poland, then France, and rule the world! But first....SOCCER!!The 4-Star Pope

Dug up months later, little Billy was still pointing at the onrushing avalanche.Melan Parkstrider

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