Call me crazy, but I don't remember a masturbation scene in "Citizen Kane".zazu
Trust me. Dress 'em in "Howard's End" garb, replace the "FUCK ME HARD's" in the script with "ROSEBUD" and we can sell it as an art film! anon
Gimme the camera! I want to videotape the filth we live in so that Social Services will get us out of this hell-hole.Dark Roger
I know the ten grand would come in handy, but won't it _hurt_ Billy if I him in the groin with a ball peen hammer?Craig
. . . but are you SURE a nude scene is essential to plot development?Pete B.
Of course I knew Jeffy was gonna get hit by a car! Geez, why do you think I had you shoot this scene last?Andy Ihnatko
How many times have I told you daddy: we're PLAYING, not FILMING. And you're not a cinematographer. In fact I question that you work at all.anon
Don't be so hard on Jeffy, Daddy. It's hard to get an erection with a camera pointed at you.db
"Can't we just pretend to snuff P.J.?"Roy Johnson
Hi Mommy. Daddy is treating us very well here. I hope you can come up with the ransom money soon, we all miss you lots.Trism
Gimme the vaseline and I'll lube down the dogs.Ken Long
Come on. Give me the camera. I'll show you how stupidly YOU'RE drawn.Kyosuke
If you can't find anything decent to shoot with all this around, you might as well go back to filming the bedroom sports with mommy. At least that has cash potential...anon
I don't think "Kids II" will be as big as the first one, Daddy, but maybe Timmy's beating scene might arouse some interest...the Shagman
Oh, Daddy! Billy *always* gets to be the stud!anon
Aw, c'mon Dad, take the gloves off! You don't want me to have to whup your sissy butt again like I did last time, now do you?GM
Boom up and swish-pan left with a zoom! How many times do we hafta go through this?8R
"Oh, Daddy...taping us for posterity...why bother? You haven't had us age for 20 plus years now..."Wes Flinn
C'mon Dad, fire up that camera so we can get a picture of this particularly poorly-drawn Jeffy!anon
"I forget Daddy...which one of us should be having sex with Barfy?"Beavis
My contract requires that you clear the set of all non-essential personnel during nude scenes!Art
Obviously this more than a Kodak moment!anon
Back to the DFC Archive index