DFC #100
...and someday they will all gather in front of this window and cry "DUCE! DUCE!"Jojo the Spiv
...and a deal's a deal. I gave you my left arm, now
possess that doll and turn it into a blood-thirsty warrior whose only
purpose is to kill my enemies!The Incorrigible Welshman
While in the State Hospital, Dolly learned she couldn't escape her past: even the voices she heard were boring as hell.anon
Yeach! The whole world looks kinds grainy this morning - last time I read the DFC archives 'til my eyes bleed.Rusty Russell
" Dammit to Hell, Daddy and Uncle Roy drank too much BRASS MONKEY and blew chunks in my fish tank again!! EEEEW... "Doc Evil
Because color is a dangerous tool in the wrong
hands, at first the Guild only allowed Bil the color yellow. Later they
realized even that was a mistake.Ethelred
Wow Mommy, you looked just like Ken Griffey on that swing... and look! I caught two of Daddy's teeth!Kurt L.
To her horror, Dolly found that the cat really had
gotten her tongue--and she strongly suspected that Kittycat had buried
it in the litterbox.The Outsider
Ah-ha! Melon headed aliens! I knew we weren't their real children!Evil Ed
Escape while you can my feathered friend! Go into this land of color and detail.anon
Dolly rose early to greet the dawn, but found she
could do so no longer. For she had sold her song to the sea-witch in
exchange for a pair of legs to win the love of the handsome prince.what, no tasteless depravity?
I'm so glad I got the room facing the Love Canal!Keef
I can hardly believe it...a beautiful sunrise, color, furniture, toys...everything is just perf...OH SHIT!...I just remembered I'm 34 years old, trapped in a circle and only two and a half feet tall.Pirate
Finally! Here comes Tinkerbell! We're just about out
of Pixie Dust, and you know how ugly it gets around here when *that*
happens!Karen&Eric
Hey Billy! P.J.! Come see! Jeffy got caught in the gangs' crossfire again.anon
Mommy! Daddy! Come quick! The Mitchells are beating
the crap out of their son again! Hey, Denny! Who's the menace now,
suspender boy! Ha ha ha!!!!Blaine C
The thrill of spying on his daughter quickly turns to horror as Peepin' Bil witnesses Dolly's death from a falling caption.ColBleep
Hah! And they said only rats and cockroaches would survive the nuclear holocaust!Minerva
Look at that view! Staying at the Mordor Hilton was a great vacation idea!The Lawyer
Now that's a DAMN fine looking wall. If I either
grow a few inches or get Bil to study perspective, I might see how the
window looks someday, too.Greg J
Behold! The spell I cast hast borne it's terrible fruit! The world is now in COLOR!!!... Pretty bad colors, though.Magus
...and when I'm done playing with my new doll and
opening and closing my new dresser drawers, I'm gonna sit in front of
the mirror and just stare at my nice normal head. *Sigh*. If only this
were real and not just the result of my latest PCP binge. Tazabby
Tho it was never proven, many fans believed the 'Bil
is dead' rumors. Experts cited such evidence as the missing 'L' in his
name and cartoons such as this one having an un-Keane-like amount of
color and detail. Note also the improved perspective and Dolly's
naturally rounded head. - the Compleat Family CircuspaTRICK heSTER
Mommy's right! The whole world does look brighter after an orgasm!Vice Pope Doug
I know it's only a dream, but I love it here where the world has color, my room has furniture, and my head...my head is round!Roy
Even with thalidomide hands, it's a good day to be a alive! ...An even better day to kill that bitch that took the thalidomide!anon
All those pills and I'm still here! God wants me to live!Davey D.I.
A-one-two-shake those buns! A-one-two-raise those
arms! Nothin' like a little Richard Simmons to get me goin' in the
morning. Right, Richard?Vice Pope Doug
I wonder if these strange floating creatures are spawned from that nuclear holocaust. I saw one in Daddy's room too.anon
Are you there God? It's me Margar...Lucifer! Arghhh
snort.burp..oh no! I'm sorry God...I..I don't what comes over me
sometim...Bleeech..urghh...swim in the demon's veins..lick the devil's
scro...Oh my I'm so embarrassed. Oh God help me! Please tell me why I'm
being institutionalized. I'm perfectly sane and...eat me! lick Barfy's
zits. blahhh..erggh..umfff....Judy Blume
Hey Pugsly! Wednesday! I'm bringing P.J. over; did you fix the electric chair yet?Not Elsie
The small, trapped child in the corner looked on in
horror as Dolly talked to the walls. This whole thing was beginning to
look like "Misery" come to life...The Sandman
Ulccch.. they're right. Color puts at least fifteen pounds on you.The Outsider
Oh thank you great furniture fairy, for granting my wish.Anastasia
Hmmm...buzzards circling in the distance. I wonder
if it's too much to ask that that drunk of a father dropped dead on his
way home from the bar last night.Anastasia
Aaaah! Orange skies, dead trees, blackened
hills...those anti-nuclear-power people were idiots - the meltdown has
actually _improved_ things!DeRaptor
Oh, great Sun god...I will pledge to offer up to you
the child growing in my womb as your newest disciple...if you promise
to grant me a pair of size D hooters and the painful death of that
Calvin fuckhead who told me that he was impotent.Tazabby
Yes, hello, Mr. Christ. What? You want to experience
total ecstacy? Well, just take my hand and we'll have...what? Kill my
family? Okay.NC senator, Ted the Fed (D)
Dad finally gets some color and what the hell does
he do, PAINT THE FUCKING WALL, CURTAINS AND BED THE SAME GODDAMN COLOR!
And what the fucks with that sky? It looks like that time billy puked
after drinking two bottles of whiskey and a bag of cheetos.Yakko
I knew Jeffy was wrong...the 100th DFC panel didn't bring forth the Apocalypse after all.MechaGumby
Ah, this is the life... I got money to burn, I
travel the world, and every morning I wake up in a plush hotel suite. I
don't know why Mom was so upset -- life as Melissa Etheridge's sex-toy
groupie isn't half bad! Kurt L.
Shut up! So help me, I'll cram your beak so far up your-- SHUT the hell UP! I know where Daddy keeps his shotgun! Don't piss me off!!!Kurt L.
"A dead tree backed by a puke-yellow sky... I love LA"Elessar
You see, Billy? I told you a little harmless incest wouldn't be the end of the world!Kurt L.
A glorious morning! Nothing like a beautiful sunrise to refresh the soul and rejuv-- oh, crap. It's a sunset...Kurt L.
"The hills are alive... with the sound of... oh fuck... not the mustard gas again."anon
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