DFC #100

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

...and someday they will all gather in front of this window and cry "DUCE! DUCE!"Jojo the Spiv

...and a deal's a deal. I gave you my left arm, now possess that doll and turn it into a blood-thirsty warrior whose only purpose is to kill my enemies!The Incorrigible Welshman

While in the State Hospital, Dolly learned she couldn't escape her past: even the voices she heard were boring as hell.anon

Yeach! The whole world looks kinds grainy this morning - last time I read the DFC archives 'til my eyes bleed.Rusty Russell

" Dammit to Hell, Daddy and Uncle Roy drank too much BRASS MONKEY and blew chunks in my fish tank again!! EEEEW... "Doc Evil

Because color is a dangerous tool in the wrong hands, at first the Guild only allowed Bil the color yellow. Later they realized even that was a mistake.Ethelred

Wow Mommy, you looked just like Ken Griffey on that swing... and look! I caught two of Daddy's teeth!Kurt L.

To her horror, Dolly found that the cat really had gotten her tongue--and she strongly suspected that Kittycat had buried it in the litterbox.The Outsider

Ah-ha! Melon headed aliens! I knew we weren't their real children!Evil Ed

Escape while you can my feathered friend! Go into this land of color and detail.anon

Dolly rose early to greet the dawn, but found she could do so no longer. For she had sold her song to the sea-witch in exchange for a pair of legs to win the love of the handsome prince.what, no tasteless depravity?

I'm so glad I got the room facing the Love Canal!Keef

I can hardly believe it...a beautiful sunrise, color, furniture, toys...everything is just perf...OH SHIT!...I just remembered I'm 34 years old, trapped in a circle and only two and a half feet tall.Pirate

Finally! Here comes Tinkerbell! We're just about out of Pixie Dust, and you know how ugly it gets around here when *that* happens!Karen&Eric

Hey Billy! P.J.! Come see! Jeffy got caught in the gangs' crossfire again.anon

Mommy! Daddy! Come quick! The Mitchells are beating the crap out of their son again! Hey, Denny! Who's the menace now, suspender boy! Ha ha ha!!!!Blaine C

The thrill of spying on his daughter quickly turns to horror as Peepin' Bil witnesses Dolly's death from a falling caption.ColBleep

Hah! And they said only rats and cockroaches would survive the nuclear holocaust!Minerva

Look at that view! Staying at the Mordor Hilton was a great vacation idea!The Lawyer

Now that's a DAMN fine looking wall. If I either grow a few inches or get Bil to study perspective, I might see how the window looks someday, too.Greg J

Behold! The spell I cast hast borne it's terrible fruit! The world is now in COLOR!!!... Pretty bad colors, though.Magus

...and when I'm done playing with my new doll and opening and closing my new dresser drawers, I'm gonna sit in front of the mirror and just stare at my nice normal head. *Sigh*. If only this were real and not just the result of my latest PCP binge. Tazabby

Tho it was never proven, many fans believed the 'Bil is dead' rumors. Experts cited such evidence as the missing 'L' in his name and cartoons such as this one having an un-Keane-like amount of color and detail. Note also the improved perspective and Dolly's naturally rounded head. - the Compleat Family CircuspaTRICK heSTER

Mommy's right! The whole world does look brighter after an orgasm!Vice Pope Doug

I know it's only a dream, but I love it here where the world has color, my room has furniture, and my head...my head is round!Roy

Even with thalidomide hands, it's a good day to be a alive! ...An even better day to kill that bitch that took the thalidomide!anon

All those pills and I'm still here! God wants me to live!Davey D.I.

A-one-two-shake those buns! A-one-two-raise those arms! Nothin' like a little Richard Simmons to get me goin' in the morning. Right, Richard?Vice Pope Doug

I wonder if these strange floating creatures are spawned from that nuclear holocaust. I saw one in Daddy's room too.anon

Are you there God? It's me Margar...Lucifer! Arghhh snort.burp..oh no! I'm sorry God...I..I don't what comes over me sometim...Bleeech..urghh...swim in the demon's veins..lick the devil's scro...Oh my I'm so embarrassed. Oh God help me! Please tell me why I'm being institutionalized. I'm perfectly sane and...eat me! lick Barfy's zits. blahhh..erggh..umfff....Judy Blume

Hey Pugsly! Wednesday! I'm bringing P.J. over; did you fix the electric chair yet?Not Elsie

The small, trapped child in the corner looked on in horror as Dolly talked to the walls. This whole thing was beginning to look like "Misery" come to life...The Sandman

Ulccch.. they're right. Color puts at least fifteen pounds on you.The Outsider

Oh thank you great furniture fairy, for granting my wish.Anastasia

Hmmm...buzzards circling in the distance. I wonder if it's too much to ask that that drunk of a father dropped dead on his way home from the bar last night.Anastasia

Aaaah! Orange skies, dead trees, blackened hills...those anti-nuclear-power people were idiots - the meltdown has actually _improved_ things!DeRaptor

Oh, great Sun god...I will pledge to offer up to you the child growing in my womb as your newest disciple...if you promise to grant me a pair of size D hooters and the painful death of that Calvin fuckhead who told me that he was impotent.Tazabby

Yes, hello, Mr. Christ. What? You want to experience total ecstacy? Well, just take my hand and we'll have...what? Kill my family? Okay.NC senator, Ted the Fed (D)

Dad finally gets some color and what the hell does he do, PAINT THE FUCKING WALL, CURTAINS AND BED THE SAME GODDAMN COLOR! And what the fucks with that sky? It looks like that time billy puked after drinking two bottles of whiskey and a bag of cheetos.Yakko

I knew Jeffy was wrong...the 100th DFC panel didn't bring forth the Apocalypse after all.MechaGumby

Ah, this is the life... I got money to burn, I travel the world, and every morning I wake up in a plush hotel suite. I don't know why Mom was so upset -- life as Melissa Etheridge's sex-toy groupie isn't half bad! Kurt L.

Shut up! So help me, I'll cram your beak so far up your-- SHUT the hell UP! I know where Daddy keeps his shotgun! Don't piss me off!!!Kurt L.

"A dead tree backed by a puke-yellow sky... I love LA"Elessar

You see, Billy? I told you a little harmless incest wouldn't be the end of the world!Kurt L.

A glorious morning! Nothing like a beautiful sunrise to refresh the soul and rejuv-- oh, crap. It's a sunset...Kurt L.

"The hills are alive... with the sound of... oh fuck... not the mustard gas again."anon

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