DFC Caption Stats
Presented by Charlie Steinhice (Gen. Sedgwick)
Last update: 10/8/99
Up to cartoon #500
What a long, strange trip it's been. I never knew one could look at a
spreadsheet and get all melancholy before today. Again, all the thanks
go to Spinn & his editors for years of guilty pleasures -- mine as well
as Thel's. I dispened with the usual tracking of movement because
(a) with newinformation on some multiple nicknames, it would have been
very inaccurate and (b) I guess trend doesn't matter as much now. (Sniff.)
* Welcome to the 400 Caption Club: Heath.
* A long overdue welcome to the 300 Caption Club: Andy Ihnatko.
* Welcome to the 200 Caption Club: Coalcracker.
* Welcome to the 100 Caption Club: Stefan Jones (AKA Hideo Spanner, Carker Mastudo)
* Welcome to the 50 Caption Club: K-Man,Thomas Wilde, Dave Matthews, Podbeing.
* Big streaks that made it intact to DFC #500: Helder (91), Torc. (27).
DFC STATS THROUGH #500
Total captions:
Gen. Sedgwick 606
Heath 422
Vice Pope Doug 419
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 387
Helder 387
Anastasia 329
Namgubed the Merry Elf 318
Riff 315
Rotter 307
Doc Evil 290
zazu 282
Mr. ? 237
Ken (post-362) 232
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 232
Stan Xhiao 222
Westur the Unspeakable 221
Hang Lose 212
Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V. 205
Magus 196
Tazabby 193
Kurt L. 187
hangtownman 172
Greg J 171
bobo 153
twomp/Erekose/phonsux 150
Bad Girl 140
Yakko 140
Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben 137
Nethicus 137
Torc. 137
'zoid 132
agm 124
Sean Q 121
Horselover Fat 120
Opie 120
Pete 115
Paul T. Riddell 111
phil 106
Stefan Jones/Hideo Spanner/Carker Mastudo 106
M 102
Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella 97
Stealth/Clay Colwell 96
Bill 94
me, myself, I 92
Larry Hastings 90
Lost in Erehwon/The Outsider 88
zen/Zenmaster 88
Mighty Owl 84
scoob 82
Monkey Punch 81
Roy/Roy Johnson 81
Schickelgruber 81
ks 78
Dan Jones 76
The 4-Star Pope 76
DMW 74
Generik 73
Werehamster/His Imperial Majesty 72
Crazy Climber/Looseleaf/Down the hall from Dave 71
El Caballero 71
zed 71
Randall 70
Hugh Jass 67
Svingen 67
Craig 66
Judgement Night 66
Blake 64
Paul Roub 64
Pete B. 64
Shem 64
Coyote 63
The Lawyer 63
Don Spudleone 58
tv's Spatch 58
aa 57
Lots42/Lots4SaleToo! 57
kafka 56
Pastor of Muppets/Superquasihypercyberfunkymonkeyspank 56
Jojo the Spiv/JoJo the Idiot Circus Boy (etc.) 55
Lt. Dan 55
Podbeing 55
alanon 53
Lloyd Dobler 53
Peon 53
Ratman 53
Jester 52
RBByrnes 52
Shifter 52
Thomas Wilde 52
Who me? 52
K-Man (post-462) 51
nonentity 51
Orrin Bloquy 51
Dave Matthews 50
Diggit 49
Mycroft 49
MechaGumby 48
Bubba 47
Jokestress/Andrea 47
The Dog 47
Jenn Dolari 46
Orion the Hunter 46
The Fed/Ted the Fed 46
The Unmasked Revenger 46
L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg 45
paTRICK heSTER 45
ewhac 44
Myke 44
ferret 43
Jizmo the Wonder Horse 43
Tillman 43
Dave the Fave 42
Frenchy, the toad swallower/Mark Cable 42
Kevy 41
Crackhead Jonny 40
Rishmawy 40
Trism 40
RipperJak/Wyvern/Sgt. Spam 39
Mr. Clean 38
marty gray/Matt Holm 37
Don Cabron 36
Paul "..." Reed 36
the skyclad answer/Tony's Dancing Clams/fish in the sky 36
Argyle 35
Capt. phealy 35
Eric the Black 35
Smokey 35
Dr. Schmuck 34
nine elle 34
Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon 34
Bill Versteegen/Vincent Vega 33
Cadillac Man 33
Joe Blow 33
Joe Klein 33
Kittycat 33
Schmuck 33
BretttMaverick 32
ChoppingBlock 32
Ethelred 32
Prof. Moriarty 32
Kevin/Kevin Bergeson 31
Rick Coughlan 31
tralfie/jerright 31
Vitamin Tom 31
xian, the boy with the monkey heart 31
Zebra 31
BK 30
Blue Gargantua 30
Boschcat of the Apocalypse 30
megafrim 30
Skywise 30
snackwhore/LadyJ 30
mutantdog/MutantChickenDog 29
The Boy 29
Tom. Just Tom. 29
Bil's Drinking/Drug Buddy 28
Joe Z 28
Moorlock 28
not elsie 28
OM 28
the Sandman 28
Deiphage 27
Ravecavy 27
Octophile 26
Preacher/Judge 26
Cheezo 25
Chutney 25
deX! 25
Elkman 25
Jamey "..." Powell/Crisis/James "..." Powell 25
Keef 25
Mr. Kontoontwon 25
Norm de Plume 25
The Dork Wanderer 25
The Most Rev. HolyOley 25
Ultra-Girl 25
Bill Fortier 24
Dave 24
Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar 24
munkiman 24
Roxanne LeReaux 24
Tangent 24
Tempus Fugit, the Time Flier 24
Tom Jenkins/Tom/Thomas Jenkins 24
Vinegar Tom 24
jedi mind trip 23
Mister Sinister 23
Otis 23
Radio Show 23
Rodney 23
T-Bone's House O' Screamin' Weasels! 23
Terminus 23
The Enigma 23
The Hanged Man 23
Colin 22
crispy 22
Desscribe 22
Tim Harrod 22
toade 22
agtorange 21
Bill Hunter 21
Bongbrain 21
Dofang 21
HasNoName 21
Jim Smith 21
Marlboro 21
patrik 21
slacker 21
Dvandom 20
halaq 20
Jeffrey 20
lefty 20
rudy 20
Troy 20
Most panels with captions:
Gen. Sedgwick 302
Vice Pope Doug 228
Anastasia 210
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 202
Heath 198
Namgubed the Merry Elf 197
Riff 197
Doc Evil 193
Rotter 174
Magus 147
Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V. 144
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 140
Mr. ? 129
Nethicus 124
Westur the Unspeakable 123
twomp/Erekose/phonsux 113
bobo 112
zazu 112
Yakko 109
Ken (post-362) 107
Tazabby 105
hangtownman 103
Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben 101
Horselover Fat 100
Greg J 98
Helder 96
agm 90
Stefan Jones/Hideo Spanner/Carker Mastudo 88
Kurt L. 87
phil 84
Hang Lose 80
Sean Q 79
Paul T. Riddell 78
Roy/Roy Johnson 75
Lost in Erehwon/The Outsider 74
Stealth/Clay Colwell 74
Larry Hastings 72
M 70
zen/Zenmaster 69
Stan Xhiao 68
Pete 67
me, myself, I 65
Schickelgruber 65
Randall 64
Werehamster/His Imperial Majesty 64
Paul Roub 62
scoob 62
Opie 61
Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella 61
Dan Jones 58
Hugh Jass 56
The Lawyer 55
Crazy Climber/Looseleaf/Down the hall from Dave 54
Don Spudleone 52
Mighty Owl 52
Bad Girl 51
Bill 51
Blake 50
Coyote 50
Monkey Punch 50
Torc. 50
Consistency (pct. of panels with captions since your debut;
minimum 10 panels):
Helder 96.0% [How amazing is that? Compare: anon 80.7%]
Gen. Sedgwick 79.5%
Ken (post-362) 78.1%
Stan Xhiao 75.6%
Hang Lose 75.5%
'zoid 75.0%
El Caballero 71.7%
Namgubed the Merry Elf 70.6%
K-Man (post-462) 69.2%
Mr. ? 66.2%
megafrim 65.4%
Heath 63.7%
Judgement Night 58.3%
Bad Girl 54.8%
Sean Q 53.0%
agtorange 52.2%
hangtownman 52.0%
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 51.1%
Lucifer Antichrist 50.0%
Most likely to have more than one caption per panel
(highest avg. captions for panels where their name appears at all;
minimum 10 panels):
'zoid 8.80
Helder 4.03
Stan Xhiao 3.26
anon 3.26
ks 3.00
Bad Girl 2.75
Torc. 2.74
Hang Lose 2.65
aa 2.59
Svingen 2.58
zazu 2.52
Ken (post-362) 2.17
Who me? 2.17
Kurt L. 2.15
Heath 2.13
The Enigma 2.09
Gen. Sedgwick 2.01
Opie 1.97
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 1.92
Crackhead Jonny 1.90
K-Man (post-462) 1.89
Bill 1.84
Tazabby 1.84
Vice Pope Doug 1.84
Mr. ? 1.84
Tom. Just Tom. 1.81
Westur the Unspeakable 1.80
Dr. Schmuck 1.79
Chutney 1.79
Boschcat of the Apocalypse 1.76
megafrim 1.76
Rotter 1.76
agtorange 1.75
Greg J 1.74
Cadillac Man 1.74
Furr 1.73
Pete 1.72
Vinegar Tom 1.71
Lucifer Antichrist 1.70
zed 1.69
Deiphage 1.69
Dave the Fave 1.68
Jokestress/Andrea 1.68
hangtownman 1.67
deX! 1.67
Troy 1.67
Generik 1.66
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 1.66
El Caballero 1.65
Gaijin Marty 1.64
Monkey Punch 1.62
nine elle 1.62
The 4-Star Pope 1.62
Marlboro 1.62
Mighty Owl 1.62
Namgubed the Merry Elf 1.61
Xebec/2BRO2B 1.60
Riff 1.60
Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella 1.59
BK 1.58
Anastasia 1.57
Lloyd Dobler 1.56
Rick Coughlan 1.55
MechaGumby 1.55
Blaine C. 1.55
rudy 1.54
Craig 1.53
The Unmasked Revenger 1.53
Sean Q 1.53
Smokey 1.52
The Dog 1.52
DMW 1.51
Doc Evil 1.50
Bill Hunter 1.50
Bill Versteegen/Vincent Vega 1.50
Dofang 1.50
HasNoName 1.50
Joe Blow 1.50
maf 1.50
Phat Cheops 1.50
Tom Jenkins/Tom/Thomas Jenkins 1.50
Zest-fully Me! 1.50
Most consecutive panels with a caption:
Gen. Sedgwick 114
Helder 91
bobo 48
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 46
Mr. ? 40
zazu 38
Stan Xhiao 37
Vice Pope Doug 37
Monkey Punch 31
Heath 30
Ken (post-362) 28
Anastasia 27
Lloyd Dobler 27
Torc. 27
Namgubed the Merry Elf 26
hangtownman 25
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 21
Tazabby 20
Hang Lose 18
Sean Q 18
Ethelred 17
Pete 17
K-Man (post-462) 15
Kurt L. 15
scoob 15
The Dog 15
DMW 14
Judgement Night 14
Svingen 14
twomp/Erekose/phonsux 14
aa 13
Bad Girl 13
El Caballero 13
ks 13
M 13
Schickelgruber 13
zed 13
Capt. phealy 12
Crazy Climber/Looseleaf/Down the hall from Dave 12
Bill Versteegen/Vincent Vega 11
Doc Evil 11
megafrim 11
Westur the Unspeakable 11
Greg J 10
Riff 10
Rotter 10
Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella 10
Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V. 9
The 4-Star Pope 9
Troy 9
Yakko 9
alanon 8
Bill 8
Generik 8
me, myself, I 8
Nethicus 8
Opie 8
Pastor of Muppets/Superquasihypercyberfunkymonkeyspank 8
Paul T. Riddell 8
Randall 8
Trism 8
'zoid 8
Coyote 7
Diggit 7
Eric the Black 7
Joe Blow 7
Jokestress/Andrea 7
Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar 7
Orrin Bloquy 7
Pete B. 7
Prof. Moriarty 7
Rishmawy 7
The Lawyer 7
The Unmasked Revenger 7
ThreeSwords Delamitri 7
tralfie/jerright7
Vinegar Tom 7
Vitamin Tom 7
agm 6
Azazael 6
Dave the Fave 6
Deiphage 6
deX! 6
DieBilDie 6
Felix W. 6
Huggy Bear 6
Jojo the Spiv/JoJo the Idiot Circus Boy (etc.) 6
Magus 6
Mighty Owl 6
Mr. Clean 6
RBByrnes 6
RipperJak/Wyvern/Sgt. Spam 6
Stiles 6
The Fed/Ted the Fed 6
tmadigan/the former Tom Madigan 6
Who me? 6
Adam Cadre 5
Adam K. 5
Astriafiamante/Jessica Steinhice 5
Bill Fortier 5
Bill Hunter 5
BK 5
Crackhead Jonny 5
E.Novak 5
Frer 5
Hans 5
kafka 5
L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg 5
Larry Hastings 5
Lost in Erehwon/The Outsider 5
Mad Mike 5
maf 5
Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben 5
Orion the Hunter 5
phil 5
Rev. Stackpole 5
Rick Coughlan 5
Roxanne LeReaux 5
Roy/Roy Johnson 5
Schmuck 5
Supernaut 5
The Boy 5
The Plague 5
Toothpick Vic Vega 5
treb 5
Most hat tricks (panels with 3 or more captions):
Helder 82
Gen. Sedgwick 80
Heath 63
Vice Pope Doug 52
zazu 46
Stan Xhiao 42
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 40
Hang Lose 35
Ken (post-362) 35
Mr. ? 30
Namgubed the Merry Elf 30
Rotter 29
Riff 25
Kurt L. 24
Tazabby 24
Bad Girl 23
Torc. 22
Westur the Unspeakable 21
Anastasia 20
Greg J 20
Doc Evil 19
hangtownman 18
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 18
Opie 15
ks 14
Pete 12
'zoid 12
Bill 11
Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V. 10
Svingen 10
aa 9
Magus 9
Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella 9
bobo 8
Mighty Owl 8
zed 8
DMW 7
Sean Q 7
The 4-Star Pope 7
agm 6
Generik 6
Monkey Punch 6
Mr. Ben McClellan/Mr. Ben 6
Who me? 6
Larry Hastings 5
Lloyd Dobler 5
M 5
me, myself, I 5
Stealth/Clay Colwell 5
twomp/Erekose/phonsux 5
Most consecutive hat tricks:
Helder 25
Gen. Sedgwick 12
ks 11
Stan Xhiao 10
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 9
'zoid 8
Kurt L. 7
zazu 6
Hang Lose 5
hangtownman 5
Heath 5
Pete 5
Torc. 5
aa 4
Anastasia 4
Bad Girl 4
Ken (post-362) 4
Namgubed the Merry Elf 4
Vice Pope Doug 4
Judgement Night 3
Larry Hastings 3
Monkey Punch 3
Svingen 3
Tazabby 3
Most captions for a single panel:
'zoid 24
Bad Girl 16
aa 13
Who me? 13
Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V. 12
Tom. Just Tom. 12
zazu 12
Helder 11
Gen. Sedgwick 10
Hang Lose 10
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 9
Dr. Schmuck 9
Heath 9
Kurt L. 8
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 8
Torc. 8
Crackhead Jonny 7
Monkey Punch 7
Rotter 7
Stan Xhiao 7
Westur the Unspeakable 7
Anastasia 6
BK 6
Craig 6
Doc Evil 6
Greg J 6
ks 6
Magus 6
Mr. ? 6
Namgubed the Merry Elf 6
Rick Coughlan 6
Riff 6
Sean Q 6
Svingen 6
Vice Pope Doug 6
Bill 5
bobo 5
Colin 5
El Caballero 5
Frenchy, the toad swallower/Mark Cable 5
Generik 5
Ken (post-362) 5
K-Man (post-462) 5
Lloyd Dobler 5
Mycroft 5
Opie 5
Pete 5
Pete B. 5
Prof. Moriarty 5
Tazabby 5
The Dog 5
the skyclad answer/Tony's Dancing Clams/fish in the sky 5
Trevita/7 Years in.../The late Winslow Leach/Andrella 5
Assuming they maintained their current pace, this would the best available
predictor of future performance -- if there were such a thing as future
performance. [Sniff.] The following are the only captioneers who
averaged >= 1 caption for each panel since their debut
(minimum 10 panels.)
'zoid 6.60
Helder 3.87
[for comparison purposes: anon 2.63]
Stan Xhiao 2.47
Hang Lose 2.00
Ken (post-362) 1.69
Gen. Sedgwick 1.59
Bad Girl 1.51
Heath 1.36
K-Man (post-462) 1.31
Torc. 1.27
Mr. ? 1.22
El Caballero 1.18
megafrim 1.15
Namgubed the Merry Elf 1.14
aa 1.02
The others who averaged at least half a caption per panel:
Svingen 0.99
agtorange 0.91
hangtownman 0.87
Vice Pope Doug 0.85
Lucifer Antichrist 0.85
Les Miserables/R.J.M./Aunt Bea's love child 0.85
Sean Q 0.81
Judgement Night 0.79
Andy Ihnatko (with multiple pseudonyms) 0.78
Anastasia 0.78
Rotter 0.72
Monkey Punch 0.72
Doc Evil 0.70
Riff 0.69
Coalcracker/Swads/Rappin' Rickey V. 0.67
Vinegar Tom 0.67
Opie 0.66
rudy 0.63
Tom. Just Tom. 0.59
scoob 0.58
zazu 0.57
Gaijin Marty 0.56
me, myself, I 0.51
Westur the Unspeakable 0.51
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