"They were all out of the latest issue of 'Chicks with Dicks' so I got Dad a copy of 'Hustler' instead. And here's your box of crotchless panties. I'm making so many runs to the adult bookstore for you guys they're beginning to know me by name."The Aggie
Shit! The fucking goddamn bitch teacher says I have fucking asshole Tourret's Syndrome. Fuck! I woulda cut her fucking balls clean off if she had any! Ethelred
Don't complain to me, Quasimodo! If you wanna improve your posture, tell Bil to make the circles bigger!Phaze
These damn circles gettin' smaller, eh?a little man from another place
In Sunday School we learned 'bout the cleansing fires of Armageddon. Too bad you're gonna burn up in it! I'm all saved though, 'cause I signed my name in a comic book about Jesus!Vice Pope Doug
Mr. Martin says I give the *best* head in the whole class!!Karl F.
You look beat mommy. If you get me some Crisco and a cucumber I'll show you something that always relaxes me!King Pootie
Look at this printout, Mommy! The DFC accepted my caption!His Imperial Majesty
Mommy, I don't know how to tell you this, but the teacher was wiping the blackboard and accidentally erased Billy!John Atkinson
From the looks of you, I'm guessing we're out of booze, pills _and_ weed! Do I need to put a call in to Daddy's friend Roy?Vice Pope Doug
You look wiped, Mommy! Oh yeah .... phone repair, plumber _and_ TV repair today .... nevermind .... say no more!Vice Pope Doug
Today we learned the difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasm. For five dollars, I'll tell you.Vice Pope Doug
Mom, I've got to ask. How come the door is ALWAYS different? Do you really think by changing the door we kids would be STUPID enough to think we have the wrong house?Anastasia
I forgot to tell you -- today's an in-service day. So how come the mailman's hanging upside-down from the ceiling naked?Kurt L.
I had fun at Daddy's Militia meeting! I drew a nuke blowing up the U.N. building!Frenchy the toad swallower
What yah hiding behind the door Mommy, It"s not one of those little surprises again is it? Please don't let it be another little supprise!D.E. Mac
We had sex education today and I got to be the live model.Tazabby
As Thelma watched her loud-mouthed, melon-headed daughter start to walk into the house something snapped... and she couldn't stop herself from repeatedly slamming the door against Dolly's face.Tazabby
Well, today I made $100! Thanks for that tip about Mr. Mitchell and his leather fetish.Mo Cowan
The Brits call it "gobbing." How do you like my range?Dofang
And then Calvin just went beserk screaming "You can't retire me you bastard, I'll kill you all!" then he shot the principle, 5 teachers and that Suzy girl. And thats why we got sent home early - cool eh?Yakko
Lemme guess..you're invited to a costume party and you're goin' as a fashion risk.zazu
..first it was the tape on the liquor bottles. Now it's mousetraps in your crack stash...Oh man are you askin' for it!zazu
Ick, mom! That Laura Petrie look would go over a lot better without those velcro-strap sneakers!Dofang
Okay! It took all afternoon but I stapled your "Billy's Very Sensitive About His Bed-Wetting Problem, So Please Don't Pick On Him" handbill on every telephone pole around school. But you know, I still say this could backfire...Rotter
Damn it Mom! You've either got to feed PJ with a bottle or start wearing breast pads! trickster
What a party! 4 straight days and I'm the first to go home! by the way, Johnny's parents are giving you the carpet cleaning bill, Jeffy drank a little too much.Fanny
Here are the pictures of you and the mailman. Negatives are extra.Zebra
"Well, that explains why there's about seven `FASHION POLICE' squad cars out front. You'd better shut the door and get down on the floor."zeddux
Mom? Mom? Have you moved since I left this morning?Dofang
Damn it, mother, I told you these brass knuckles you got were too big for me! I was so distraught I drew you a nuclear holocaust as a tortured symbol of my inner pain.Dofang
Y'know, if you got a breast reduction you could probably stand up straight again.jerright
Another nude drawing of Daddy, another NEA grant. Damn, I love this country.ferret
"Sorry, mom, the bus driver said he's already got a mistress."Matt
I think once you see these pictures of your little "indiscretion" you'll change your mind about that ice cream cone!Yakko
Suzy's mother sent me home. We were just playing house and she got mad and said something about not wanting to expose HER daughter to alternative lifestyles.gaia
This time, I didn't just snip their T1 pipe...I trashed their whole phone closet and swiped all their records! So we'll have at least a whole weekend without those damned DFC posts!Rotter
So you spent another whole day in here? No wonder you popping Prozac like candy.Zebra
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