"I swear to God, I just saw John Belushi."Rev. Stackpole
"Jesus is mooning me."Rev. Stackpole
Oh mommy, did you soak in palmolive?biscuit
"Shit! I didn't think he'd splatter like that!"scoob
This house is clean.munkiman
Braiiins!! Braiiiins!!Riff
PHEW! I think Dad put that outhouse a little too close!Namgubed the Merry Elf
Admit it. I make you wet, don't I?NME-- (somebody stop me!)
Dad really is a rat bastard, isn't he? He went out of his way to ink out every star I could have wished on to get me out of this hellhole.Hideo Spanner
Dolly was explaining to her mother exactly how Moon Knight was a shameless ripoff of Batman when the crescent-dart hit her right between the eyes.Shem
"Have you ever noticed ... ever since you got those saline implants, your tits have tides?"Shem
"Nah, it's just Mr. Wilson. I bet if we both flash him, we can get him hot enough to charge double!"hangtownman
If Barfy doesn't quit howling, he'll be barfing my foot out of his ass.Judgement Night
Goodnight, boob!Horselover Fat (and 1001 others)
What the fuck did I do at the party? Every time I go to the window I get a round of applause.Horselover Fat (and 1001 others)
I was just asking God why you're such a fuck up.Evil Ed
We gotta get Kittykat spayed. She's in heat again, and just look what she's done to my nightie!Zrk
"Bwok bgok! Bwok bwok bok! Bwok!" It's been a whole week since I slipped that hypnotist that twenty, and she's still going strong. Definitely worth every cent, thought Thel.agm
Sorry about the noise. That asshole Linus VanPelt was serenading me again, but Billy nailed him with the Thirty-aught-six.Frenchy, the Toad Swallower
"Sp$^Dolly . . muuuun . . Th##lfyzzzzz . . ?'wind%er??" (The combination of Bil's motorcycle accident, and Cowles' stringent deadline policy, made for some very interesting panels.)Hang Lose
"Gimme some skin, soul sister!"Hang Lose
Big monster swallow moon again. Must throw rocks.Gen. Sedgwick
"Oh, my eyes? I accidentally looked at the dread Cthulhu during Billy's summoning ritual. No biggie."Hang Lose
"Shhhh . . I got a good view of the dumpster from here, and it looks like Daddy's 'bout to wake up!"Hang Lose
It's called "night". They have this in Australia, too, you dumb bint!Nethicus
"Jeez, You're never going to knock Garfield off the fence with that limp-wristed throw!" Magikaldragon
Peter Pan WILL come back. I'm having his baby.a lost boy
Dolly, unafraid, stared into the void and found it staring back at her. But since Dolly, too, was void, she just stared back, triggering an endless loop until Thel came along and hit her reset button.me, myself, I
Whatever Dolly had opened her mouth to say, we'll never know, because just then the window collapsed under the weight of all the ink Bil had used to draw the sky. Both Dolly and her mother were washed out to sea.me, myself, I
Now watch the moon and witness the powers of my ass!R.J.M.
I love these warm summer nights when the air is alive with the sounds of the Mitchels humping like crazed weasels.Angus
Our monthly cycles are synchronized? That's so weird! All along I thought it was me and Jodie Foster.Tex
"Mom, please stop polishing the lines out of the curtains with your hair. You know that freaks me out."Kai Robinson
"Shit. Even outside, it's a featureless void."Kai Robinson
"If the cheap bastard would just spring for a fill light we wouldn't have these annoying key shadows!"Stan Xhiao
"I never knew that Void-In-A-Can comes in Dark Chocolate, too."Stan Xhiao
"I'll try real hard, but how does he expect me to take a flyin' fuck at that?"Stan Xhiao
Get Bil's rifle... this'll be the last year we have to listen to that "Great Pumpkin" shit.JJ (salvaging Zrk's)
Mommy, why did God let Daddy gouge my eyes out?szielins
"Okay, Mom, let's try this again. The moon doesn't make its own light. It shines by reflecting sunlight. That means that the shiny part is always the side close to the sun. Is any of this sinking in?"Proportion Patrol
Ya know, only wearing two heroin rubber bands and a dog collar is not going to impress social services.Yakko
Fine, that explains her, but how did Frank come up with "Dweezil?"Ken
"I was just sitting here with Jeffy and then came this 'Wocka-wocka-wocka' noise and the next thing I know, he's gone!"Eric the Black
"Star light, star bright, first star I see..." Ah, for the love of Christ! Work with me, people! Work with me!!me, myself, I
Well I was gonna jump to my death, but even standing on this chair I'm too goddamn short to get on the sill. What I'm trying to say is that I need you to help me die.Mad Mambolica
"All hail Shiva-Ratri, goddess of night, your hair like the Void of Nothingness!"Eric the Black
" Stand back, mere mortal woman. I, Wonder Dolly, will fly to the rescue." Thel loved to get Dolly drunk on malt liquor, have her watch Superman, and put her next to a closed window. Adam K.
Thel, you were supposed to turn into a werewolf LAST week. Talk about jetlag!Sweeney
Come, mother, let us pray to the Moon Goddess, that in her infinite love she might make this damn itching go away.L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg
Don't go around tonight. It's bound to take your life.L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg
Bil will be on the phone until the eclipse ends. He's trying to convince Cowles that the sun god will be angry with them until they give him a raise. Mr. ?
"Mommy, where do cartoon families go when they're canceled?"Randall
"That's the poorest excuse for a subliminal satanic symbol I've ever seen. And I've seen a few."Stan "13's The Charm" Xhiao
"Fuck you. I still remember what happened the last time you told me to lean out 'just a little farther.'"Helder
"I figure that we're either witnessing the end of the world as documented in Revelation 6:12-13 -- 'And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood; And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth...' -- or dad's a lazy fucking bastard."Helder
Phone home! Phooone hooooome!Namgubed the Merry Elf
Satan calls to me, mommy. diablo
"Gallant makes 8,999,999,999. What am I forgetting? Oh yeah, hypno-hair." As soon as Dolly uttered those words, the stars began to go out, one by one. -- Arthur C. Clarke, The Nine Billion Names in the Difficult ZoneKen
"Ah, when I see the moonlight falling upon the evening dew, I can't help but think of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream...the faerie folk flitting from treetop to treetop, playing their little games, and--Jeeeeeeeeezus, Thel! What the hell have you been eating? You smell like a pile of shit lying under a hanged man!"Pete
Thalidomide my ass! Judging from your posture, these fucked up limbs are hereditary!chud_fembot
"Oh, there's nothin' good on TV, so I thought I'd watch Barfy rapin' Snoopy again."Semillama
"Hey, mom, it looks like Charlie Brown finally asked that red-head out, and, WHOO-EE, does she put out!"E.Novak
" Mom, when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, it makes me wonder what the hell that's supposed to mean."Adam K.
"D is for Dolly whom Mother tossed out." --from Edward Gorey's The Gashlycrumb MelonsHeath
Thel hated those cliche mother-daughter talks. That's why whenever the need arose, Thel's hand lashed out like the cobra and hit Dolly on her sleep inducing pressure point.Mr. ?
When I grow up, I'm going to travel to the moon. Then I'm going to attach a huge rocket engine on it and crash it into Bil and the rest of this looser family.Mr. ?
"Sorry, Thel, but I had to open the window. There's been too much finger pullin' around here tonight."justiz
Bil's Drawing Tip #7: Don't bother tring to draw a moon (they're hard!). Just glue a toenail clipping to the drawing, and voila!Andrea
Tou're right, the moon is pretty. And if you woulda laid off the unfiltered Camels during my second and third trimesters, I wouldn't need this fucking chair to see it.Andrea
o/'...in other words, hold my hand...in other words, mommy kiss me...o/'R.J.M.
"There's the commisioner's signal-- there must be trouble in the red light district! You go tell father, and I'll prepare his costume-- this looks like a job for the Ass-bandit!Hang Lose
"It spends fifty percent of its time waxing... does that remind you of anyone?"hangtownman
"Naw, if I wanted green cheese I'd look in the fridge behind the fuzzy Spam and the black-and-oozing butter."hangtownman
"Well, I know that most kids count sheep when they have trouble sleeping . . but I'm just afraid of what Daddy might do to them."Hang Lose
The apocalypse, huh? Well, it’s about fucking time.Pete
Given the position and orientation of the moon, I'd say the sun is located 600 feet above a farm 20 miles southwest of Fargo.Ken
"The Druid Night of the Dead is upon us, mother. We must sacrifice all the men of the household to the pagan god of the moon, and then style each other's hair and have a pillow fight."Helder
If you are here, who is in the back of the old Ford Mustang with daddy? Maihro
"... And so, in fact, the moon is NOT made of cheese.... I'm just not getting through to you, am I?"Magus
So the government pays you more when you have more kids you can't afford?Judgement Night
Well, I was about to use my last wish for world peace, but you're right. Some gin would be nice.aK h(elp-me)
"Forget it, Mom. NASA would never send you up there just so you could polish it."Stickboy
How can Grandpa see me pull my dress up for him if the moon's in the way?agm
Jesus, Mom...these were the best tickets you could get?olfactory boy
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