DFC #422

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Bye! Have fun running out the clock! And say hi to Grampa for us!Coalcracker

Bye Grandma, see you in five-to-ten!Ken

"Goodbye, stinky!"Sman

So long, Grandma. If we don't come back, avenge our deaths.Judgement Night

"Bye, Grandma! Daddy said we gotta run like hell 'cause the fuse is so short."Stan Xhiao

"Ha, ha! I have the only speaking part!"Twomp

Fuckin' Jeffy. We all had our pockets lined with food and jewelry, Grandma's bad eyesight and Alzheimers provided the perfect cover story. We weren't there, never had been. "Bye, Gamma!" Stupid shit needed to die. -- Death Row Stories, chapter 6: Dolores "The Melonead Mangler" KeanePaul Roub

"Well, Thel, you knew you'd be let go when Bil managed to draw breasts on himself and start nursing PJ. We're all staying young forever, but now that you're no longer in the strip, you'll be dead within a week from accelerated aging. Hasta la vista, baby! See you in Hell!"Mr. Kontoontwon (I apologize for not closing my italics in the last cartoon)

It was nice seein' ya, Gramma ! anyone who can traumatize Bil so bad he cringes his way out the door is A-Okay by us!Kitsunesan

Bye, grams! Sorry we burned down you kitchen. Our bad.Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon

Oops, those police sirens mean that it's time to go. Catch ya later, Grandma, and thanks for the hacksaw.Argyle

"Oh sure, we love the basement. He's got duct tape and everything!"Eric the Black

"One last thing: Bil's drawing us short again. You might want to wear a longer skirt next time or I'm going to be permanently off my feed."Eric the Black

"Yeah, Gramma, see ya later. And don't worry...if daddy says Motel 6 is the best old folks home around, he knows what he's talking about."Blank Generation

"Sorry Grandma, got to go. You've got nothing here that we can mispronounce."Eric the Black

Hey, Grandma. That's the fourth time this year that you moved and forgot to tell us. It's a good thing Grandpa's ghost keeps giving us the address.Coyote

"The apartment was too hot an' stuffy, your 3-bean salad made us all gag, the dusty old comics and beat-up Tinkertoys were really boring, and the sight of your teeth in a glass was horrifying. But thanks for the hum job, Grandma."sx

A scene from Harlan Ellison's "I Have No Mouth And I Must Boot This Little Shit Out The Door."Doctor X

"Heh, we'd....ah...heh.....love to stay, Gramma, but, ah.....heh....."Holy shit! I don't know what's worse, all the cat piss or the way she washes her dentures in her water glass at the table. I thought we were putting her in the home this year.Talisker

Sorry I puked blood all over your bathroom, but frankly your cauliflower-head and your wrinkled breasts gove me the heaves.Sneak

"We'd love to stay and help you get settled in to the 'Retirement Community', but if we don't leave now we won't have time to get all of your stuff to the pawn shop before it closes!"Westur the Unspeakable

"C'mon girl, let's go! Walkies!"Westur the Unspeakable

"Sorry to eat and run, Gramma, but your 'partment smells like tinkle!"Lt. Dan

"Thanks for the starch-free, fat-free, boiled to death crap, Grandma. Good thing we always hit Wendy's on our way back. We're outta here!"AndyK

"Bye, Gramma. Thanks for the Government Cheese. I'm going to take it into 'show-and-tell' tomorrow."AndyK

Thanks for the Scotch!Frenchy, the Toad Swallower

Jeffy was oblivious, but all the rest of us tried to skedaddle when we saw her warming up for her kick.scoob

"Bye! We'll call when we find a place without an extradition treaty!"gypsy

"No, he didn't drop us off, he's hiding out here in the hallway. Come on, I'll show you."Torc.

"We'll come back after you've contacted the funeral home. It's bad enough being visited by Granddad's ghost without having to see his festering corpse sitting at the table."--TICE

"Yeah, sure, you tell the police what you saw. Do you really think they'll believe your story about three melonheaded children and their chainsaw?"Torc.

"Bye bye Gramma, I hope I get to see you at...eh, screw it. Go fuck yourself, OK? I never did like you."Torc.

"Thanks for lunch, Gran'ma...and, er, thanks for showing us your seniors' club's presentation of 'Hair'."Tice

Shut up, Jeffy! thought Dolly. I gotta go bad, and he knows I'm scared of Grandma's glass of teeth!Tamex

"You know, I'm the only one who really loves you...the rest of these guys are just sucking up to you to get the inheritance."Tamex

While the others were always creeped out, Jeffy and Grandma shared a special bond: a love for aspic with shredded carrots and other crap in it.Andrea

Custody, shmustody. Mom can take her piece of paper to the court while we go to Meheeco. Thanks for hiding us out, babe!Vato Loco

"You know, you look more like a cross between Daddy and Mommy than any of us."Torc.

"See ya next Sunday, Gramma; unless of course you Die before then!"anon

"Bye! Thanks for givin' Dolly the dead squirrel monkey!"anon

"Mom would have come, but it's not cold enough for hell to freeze over yet."Helder (salvaging anon)

"Actually, I have nothing cute to say. Dad just wanted to prove that he's not grandma."Helder (salvaging Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon)

"See ya, Granny. We're off to the next stop on the Butt-Man's Hot-Body Babes of Cartoon Land tour--our kitchen!Stan Xhiao

"Thanks for letting us come over and watch the girls from 3G sunbathe on the balcony, Gandma! Same time tommorrow??"The Dank

Thanksforalovelyvisitwe'llhave *BREATH* todoitagainrealsoonseeyoulaterbye...R.J.M.

We're going to visit the Grandma we love, and have some fun.Spanky

"Back off, Gramma. I only give one autograph per person. I'll tell ya what, you write to my fan club and I'll make sure they send you a copy of the Jeffy Keene Boardgame."Monkey Punch

"Thanks for lettin' us 'Drive the Volvo No-Handed', Grandma Keane!"sx

"'Bye, Gran'ma! Don't be a stranger! Come back soon!...Heh heh heh...I love doing that."M

You seriously need to consider moving, Grams. We had to go over the river and through the woods just to get here.poinko

"We'll see you next time we need something signed!"Westur the Unspeakable

"Try not to think about the icy grip of death around your throat - remember, stress kills!"Westur the Unspeakable

Grandma's gigantic brain pulsed and Dolly saw the walls grow eyes.Lots42

Have fun getting to the bottom of that long, dark flight of stairs with your fragile hips intact! Muhahahaha!Andrea

Bye Gramma, thanks for lunch. By the way, you're out of scotch.lefty

Awww, don't be sad Gran'ma! You're much more than a checkbook to us! You're also our alibi! bobo

"Oh, don't worry, Grandma . . . I won't let the door hit my ass on the way out!"Hang Lose

"Daddy forgot to give you mommy's message. She said, 'Tell that old bitch I hope she rots in hell.'"Helder

"Quick, everybody! The Rehypnol has kicked in! Out the door before she snaps out of it!"anon

"We'll be back when you Scotchgard the sofa and buy some fucking Depends."happy noodle boy

Hey, Dad, nice rack you gave your mom this time. Talked to your therapist about this?Gen. Sedgwick

"You're the best, gramma! Thanks for hypnotizing Dolly so she thinks she's Snoopy."Bad Girl

"Sorry about the mix-up, Mrs. Johnson. All old people look alike!"Bad Girl

Don't listen to them, gramma! I think the corpses are cool!Bad Girl

Hounded off Broadway, Keanedance goes door-to-door.M

"Thanks for the god damn fucking shitbag presents, Gandma!"E.Novak

And just to confuse you more grandma, we're walking into the house backwards.Alphonzo

"Stay!"Heath

Only when she was extremely well fed would Angela Lansbury deliberatly allow prey to escape from her lair.Westur the Unspeakable

"Didn't you ever wonder why Bil draws you as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew in a fright wig?."jeffrey

Thanks for letting us use your bathroom. We didn't even know Dolly was pregnantNotaV

"Is it true that Grampa's final screams were muffled by a throatful of his own blood?"jeffrey

"Nyaah, nyaah! I'll live longer than you will!"jeffrey

Well, off to "Panama" to bury the latest "malaria victims."Gen. Sedgwick (Arsenic and Old Lace still rocks!)

"Bye-bye, Mr. Wood, and thanks for showing us those neat movies!"Sean Q

This is without a doubt the most seriously screwed up evolution chart I've ever seen.Magus

Gotta scoot! Your Absolut won't cut it. PJ gets pissy if his formula isn't made with Stoli.Andrea

Thanks. Never hurts to get another set of fingerprints on a gun.Mr. ?

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