DFC #416

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"Mom! Jeffy forced me to switch asses with him! scoob

Dolly's fists were clenched so tight that blood squirted from her head. Jeffy knew this had to be a batch of the Good Stuff. Dvandom

... and the next day we woke up to discover that we could no longer reach our private parts. I think Dolly took it the hardest. -- Jeffery Keane, If This Is The Circus, I'd Hate To See The Sideshow Helder

Sometimes wedgies feel so good that you just have to cry. Merlisk

There was no greater put-down in the Keane household than "daddy's favorite". Helder

Damn Him! thought Dolly. Even on the Astral plane, I can't get away from that scene stealing little shit! Westur the Unspeakable

Dolly thought a lifelong dream had come true when she was casted in Star Trek...then she noticed she was wearing the red shirt. -Jester

Watch out children! Unlike a porcupine, a frightened Keane (gourdocranuim familiocoitus) can actually shoot her quills. Brettt Maverick

The firecracker worked so well on the cat's butt, Dolly was the next logical target RedDog

Coming soon for Christmas : Latex PlayPal "Dolly" with realistic hair, open, accomodating mouth, warm, realistic latex skin, two tight openings, and missiles that really shoot! Brettt Maverick

"Mother! I am woeful of sibling antics! Order Jurgen to at once be returning of my candies and forearms. I request it!" -- from "SphereDwelling Family" the Norwegian version of the DFC Brettt Maverick

Poignant moment from Your Arms Too Short to Wipe Yourself. Gen. Sedgwick

Billy gets a strange, horny kick out of watching Dolly's pink ass as she cries. no1

"But I don't want to grow at a geometric rate! Deiphage

Jeffy gets a running start for the second kick... anon

"she may think she's Xena", Jeffy thought, "but she sure can't handle a chakram to the back of the head djymm

This scene from the unsuccessful "Lil'Super-man" shows a young, fully haired luthor fleeing from the scene of his latest scheme, bloating super-girl's ass to three times its normal size, rendering her flightless. The Oyabun

Why can't you love me? Why? Why? My world is a featureless void. Obsession For Melonheads, new from Calvin Klein Paul Roub

Here we witness a young Dolly Keane bawling her eyes out and...whoa, hey! There goes Jeffy again! It's a new world record folks! Eighty-nine straight panels featuring the curly headed little fuck! SnoopyCow

Jeffy Peffy pudding and pie, kiss the girls and make them cry! When the boys come out to play, Jeffy lets them have their way! -- From Bil Keane, Father Goose: New Stories and Rhymes for Saucy and Sweaty Boys, Hungry Man Press (1976). me, myself, I

"...urrrrngh...okay Jeffy, get the lighter ready. This one's gonna be a Hiroshima! Kai Robinson

"Mo-MMY! Jeffy just hit me in the butt with a lawn dart! Will you tell Daddy to stop snickering, put down the sketch-pad and HELP ME??!!!! Tice

"Moooooooommm! Jeffy destroyed the universe again! Pete

Dolly cried and cried the day Bil forbade her from seeing Cathy Guisewite. Who will watch Xena with me? Who will braid my hair until my eyes bleed? Who will rub fat-reducer cream on my pudgy thighs? Who will give a flyin' fuck, I thought. --Dead Man Skippin': The Death Row Remembrances of J. Hermann Keane stna lazy boy xhiao

I love you, Mango! I can't get you out of my head! Oh how will I tell Cathy about this?!? anon

Jeffy took advantage of Dolly's tantrum to "streak" across the back of the panel. Fortunately, Bil's lightning-quick pen hand covered his ass with a pair of dungarees before The Syndicate dilated the Circle for good. --The Jeffy-A-Day Wall Calendar: May 31 stan oh boy xhiao

Now you, too can own this Bradford Exchange recommendation, So Why Do They Call It "Afterglow"?, for three easy payments of only $29.95. Gen. Sedgwick

Dolly's neck muscles were no match for the sheer velocity of her oversized head, and it was necessary for her to walk around for days at a time with her shoulders shrugged to avoid its lolling uncontrollably. devvie

Bil puts a quick end to another outbreak of masturbation at the Keane household with the simple expedient of making everyone's arms too short to reach their privates. Some take it harder than others. Destroyer

Jeffy Keane- the master of the telekinetic ass-grab. bandit

"You better run you little shit!!! Once I loosen up this melvin, I'm gonna kick your fucking teeth in!!! Torc.

In this cut scene from the new Star Wars prequel, we see young Anakin Skywalker start down the path to the Dark Side by using the Force to give viscious wedgies to the young Queen... Doc Evil

Dolly's punishment in Hell fit her crimes on earth: suspended above a sea of marhmallow creme but unable to gorge, while Jeffy jogged around her in endless circles singing Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Andrea

"Fuckin' Heavy Metal auditions. All they want is tits, tits, tits! Randall

It's not fair! I thought black was supposed to be slimming! Coalcracker

For the price of a daily cup of coffee, one less child may suffer from Jeffy-Shaped Explosive Diarrhea. NME (self-salvaging)--

Note to Bil Keane form Cowles - Why did we have to edit out a large knife from Dolly's Back? Terminus

"AAAIIIEEE! Magical dream fencer Jeffy lashes at my capacious buttocks! I, Strong Girl Dolly, will defeat him!" -- from the anime film Strong Girl Dolly II: Fucked Up The Ass Pete

Dolly regrets challenging Bil to a cayenne chugging contest the previous night. Monkey Punch

Dolly finally emotionally maxes out after reading 7 straight Ratliff Fanfics. Monkey Punch

Dolly's frustration shows as she is trapped in the the x-y plane by the circle Jeffy is running, and in the x-z plane by the circle Bil drew. What this means, no one can tell without ample pharmaceuticals. Ken

Jeffy always took a peculiarly sadistic delight in relaying a 'Dad wants to see you in the basement' message to one of his siblings. hangtownman

My ass does have powers...DOES...DOES...DOES! R.J.M.

"Please, someone turn these vibrating pants off! Heath

"Just like a man! Get me all excited, and then pop! Off you shoot, and then off you run! I hate you, Jeffy, but God I keep coming back for more! dlf

New for the holidays! From the makers of Lawn Jeffy, it's the Dolly Lawn Sprinkler! Order yours while supplies last! Riff

Damn this cartoon universe! All these years I thought I was arrested at the age of six,and suddenly I'm going through menopauseArgyle

"Christ! How many balloons did I swallow?"Kai Robinson

As Dolly sobbed her way through You'll never walk alone, Jeffy sprang from his wheelchair - bringing the Telethon to an abrupt endRodney

Despite Bil's attempts to break into the superhero comic industry, sales of the new Angst-Ridden Avenger and Ennui Boy comic were disappointing at best.me, myself, I

"Cry all you want," thought Jeffy. "I'm not paying for the damn abortion."Judgement Night

Dolly's banshee-wail rendition of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" was enough to get even Jeffy to leave the scene.Magus

"Hmm," thought Jeffy. "Somebody better get that back in the water."Heath

That dirty little fuck broke my heart. That Oscar IS a grouch.Argyle

With the skill of a surgeon, Jeffy knew how to manipulate Dolly's frail emotional state. One more little 'suggestion' and she would be over the edge.RedDog

"Get out of my head!" Dolly bellowed. However, she meant Jeffy, not the melon seeds.snackwhore

"Mo-o-o-o-o-om! Jeffy turned my pants to Opal with his alchemist powers and he won't turn them ba-a-a-a-ack!"snackwhore

Love hurts. But then again, so does a Hot Wheels track across the back of the neck...Reverend S. Michael Wilson

"Someone's not a Happy Little Camper..." "Shut your fucking pie-hole, Jeffy!"snackwhore the salvager (thanks bobo)

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