DFC #365

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Jeffy eventually made a fortune coming up with topics for Jerry Springer.Heath

Coincidentally, Bil was also fantasizing about riding a big one.Heath

"Gonna need a big fish," thought Jeffy. "That's the only food left I can pronounce."Heath

Family Circus cartoons make great Ska band names! Claim "Big Fish Dream" now before someone else does!Heath

A weekend at the Brando residence can linger on one's mind.Alan Turing

Later, while serving time for piscatorial pandering, Jeffy would often wonder why his father had told him that the secret to success in life was to find his own roe to ho'.hangtownman

Sicily, June 8, 1909. Young Luca Brazzi suddenly experiences a terrifying, albeit cryptic, premonition of his future.Desscribe

"It was in his later 'yellow' period that Keane abondoned finger pointing realism for the realm of allegory. In Fishing (fig 3) the juxtaposition of Jeffy stradling the giant fish represents our cultu... I mean man's need to... oh, I can't do this. Screw it! It doesn't represent anything except that Keane was one sick and twisted old pedophile and that the fucker should have been put to sleep in the fifties!" -- from Bil Keane, A Critical Retrospective by Prof. William Keane Jr.hangtownman

The second in the DFC: Tales from the Superfund Site collectors' plate series. hangtownman

Give a Keane a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a Keane to fish, and you'll be breaking a half dozen sex crime laws.bobo

His mind wandering to the upcoming Renfair season, Jeffy was determined to have the biggest codpiece in town.bobo

This tourism brochure for the Chernobyl region was hastily withdrawn.Gen. Sedgwick

Promotional video for the new Swedish pop band "Ass of Bass."L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg

In Keane's version of "Moby Dick," Jeffy obsessively tries to catch the fish that ate his right nostril.Ishmael

The Old Man and his Hemingwayesque Cry for Help.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Carpe denim- "sieze fish with your pants"Crackhead Jonny

Sadly it was hearing loss that led Jeffy to think melonheadism could be fixed by "a good plastic sturgeon".Crackhead Jonny

A small town boy with dreams of professional fish-wrestling fame, Jeffy Keane spent 4 years searching for his ultimate tag-team partner. The closest thing he caught was a scorching case of marine herpes.Bzzt

Dear lord, thought Jeffy, it's the Creature from the Thought Balloon!!Namgubed the Merry Elf

"...uhuhhuhhuh...sperm whale...huhhuh...blowhole...huhhuh...fishing is cool...humpback...uhuhhuhhuh..."Ricky Retardo

In this ancient Sumarian cuniform (ca. 3000 BC), we see the Prometheus-like Jeffy-Ra dreaming of harnessing the power of the sea for mankind. Unfortunately, the presence of bumbling sidekick Bil-Do, symbol of mischief and bad cartoons, foreshadows troubleCoalcracker

When he ingested just the right combination of glue, cheap tequila, Percodan and No-Doz, Bil would stand under a tree, and chuckle softly about the "Fin de Siecle". Jeffy thought that this sounded like a fun cycle to have, and was thus trying to catch one.Vice Pope Doug

Most little boys dream of being cowboys or super heroes -- astronauts or soldiers. Jeffy just dreams of sitting on a dead giant fish.Vice Pope Doug

Sensing his father nearby, Jeffy quickly replaces his "Cindy Crawford and Yasmeen Ghauri doing each other in a hot tub" thought balloon, with the "Gee, I hope I catch a big fishy" thought balloon.Vice Pope Doug

I'm just trippin' on the bass back in a frenzy of fish play...R.J.M.

While Jeffy had dreams of landing the big one...Bil was more of a "pocket-fisherman"...R.J.M.

Latin 101: Carpe B.M. (the little shit is on the fish)Ken

As usual, Jeffy misunderstands Dad to be " looking for a nice, big, black bass to ride", and tries to catch him one.Sean Q

Jeffy thinks about what he caught last time when he used a human leg for bait.Lots42

Conversely, the alligator's fantasies suddenly came true.Mr. Moody

Jeffy was determined to hook himself a big 'un. Bil had promised a brand new bike to the child that made the biggest catch, for as he was fond of saying, "The bigger the fish, the more smack it smuggles!" Reverend S. Michael Wilson

Due to an as-of-yet undiscovered learning disorder, Jeffy was still convinced that there was no glory greater than that of The Almighty Cod.Reverend S. Michael Wilson

Unlike Captain Ahab, Jeffy pursued his dream of catching a giant fish with Humphry Bogart's face and dry-humping it for all eternity.Rimbaud

Hmm.... I could have sworn Dolly called me a bassfucker, but I could be wrong......TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!

...and thus another of the World's great religions was born.Eat yerself fitter

Jeffy obviously misunderstood Bil when he said that after he was done fishing, he could "Ride the Trout."Lord Zombie

Ever since he blew the audition for the part of SAM I AM, Jeffy dreams of what could have been.Magikaldragon

Confusing his sealife, PJ attributed the persistent itching in his pubic region to cods.Eat Yerself fitter

Carpe carpe. -"Seize the fish."Bubba

We replaced Jeffy's regular fantasy girl, Thel, with a huge dead fish. Let's see if he notices.Mr. Notlob

The fabled, long lost Fishing Scene from the Corman flick The Incredible Shrinking Dickweed Cartoonist Hack. Fortunately, the rest of the movie was lost also.Bri-boy

A confused Jeffy wanted to follow in his daddy's footsteps so the other kids would call him the biggest master baiter of them all.Gen. Sedgwick

Seconds later, Jeffy dreamed that he was being hauled in by the game warden because he forgot to dream of buying a fishing license.Elkman

alt.binaries.pictures.tastless has REALLY gone too far this time.Rainman

Jeffy thought he was the best rider in the west staying on his catfish, but one day old widow maker threw him to the moon.ChAoS

While Jeffey hallucinates and ruminates over his "Jonah and the Whale" fantasy, my assistant Bil prepares to take him out with a curare-tipped arrow.....(from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Family Kingdom)yeltsin

Please let a giant pirhana eat my father and end this torment please let a giant pirhana eat my father and end this torment please let a giant pirhana eat my father and end this torment please let....yeltsin

Bil pays homage to the five-member fan club in Trout Lake, Oregon (largest Family Circus fan club in the world!) by staging a panel there.agm

And just wait until you see what the fish is thinking.Who me?

"Looking for love in all the wrong places, la la la la, la, la, la-la...."yeltsin

So Jeffy's dreaming about a cold, clammy dead object in his crotch. I'm leaving this one to Freud....Raven (And let's not get into his feelings about his mother, 'K?)

And up in Heaven, an angry & insulted Jacques Cousteau starts beating the shit out of Grandpa Keane.agm

It says, in Think and Grow Rich, that if I visualize a cold fish with a blank expression, one will come along!Napoleon Hill

There he was -- the last one. Bil was afraid he'd have heard the silenced rifle shots that had slain his siblings and his mother, but the daydreaming lad stood oblivious to the outside world. Perfect, Bil thought as he slowly raised the hunting rifle. It's over . . . it's over . . . merciful God, it's finally over.Pete B.

Jeffy's fetish was no more bizarre than that of others, but it definitely involved more spectacular visuals.me, myself, I

Delusions of grandure and unobtainable goals; two unavoidable traits of the Keane lineage.Reverend S. Michael Wilson

The moment in which Jeffy realized the gigantic fish he had hooked was actually the bloated headless corpse of a middle-aged mafia informant was one that would scar him for life.Reverend S. Michael Wilson

I'm king of the world!Mark

Years of reading "Heavy Hangers" magazine had hopelessly ruined Jeffy's expections in all areas of life.Coyote

Example 142: The original drawing had, in place of the fish, a naked Linus Van Pelt. --US District Court, Docket #98-2333, Dr. H. Lecter, expert witness for the prosecution zen

Jeffy's dream of an "Aqua Rodeo" proved be be his worst drug-induced enterprise to date.Coyote

Years later, Jeffy would look back and begin to understand his bizarre sexual perversion involving sushi.J. Wally Thompson

Sometimes, a giant fish is just a giant fish.Stefan Jones

To complete Jeffy's fantasy, the fish proceeded to open wide and vomit forth several parcels of high-grade cocaine that fell off a Costa Rican freighter.Cadillac Man

Most preadolescent boys subconsciously exaggerate the size of their manhood. However, there was something clearly unsuaul about "J's" fantasies... From Sigmund Freud's The Phallocentric Circus: A Case StudyCoalcracker

In retaliation against the DFC, Bil Keane unleashes his secret weapon: the "All-Difficult-Zone Series." His plan worked, as the best caption submitted was "the poop keeps the tent wher it is."c.

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