DFC #298

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Dolly's tryouts to be in the next FTD logo understandibly failed miserably...Mr. Ben McClellan

PJ, Jeffy, turn off the oven - I found beauty!Ol' Franklin

YAH-HOOOOO!!! Extreme flower picking!!! * SURRRRRRRGE!!! *Doc Evil

Stage One of Dolly's plan for world conquest was complete. Soon she would have an army of aphids. Then no one would laugh. No one.nine elle

Opening Scene: Circle of the Triffids, 1997, DFC Productions, Inc.zen

"Somehow Dolly always sensed when Mommy was out of Claritin." -- from the testimony of Patrick Joseph Keane, Arizona v. Thelma KeaneGen. Sedgwick

"Look! Look! I just deflowered Jeffy! Come see before the joke gets old!"tv's Spatch

"Look! Pretty feminine flowers! That proves I lean more towards femme, Mom, you bitter ol' butch!"tv's Spatch

Dennis was right! Mr. Wilson does have chest pains when we pull up his garden.bobo

Nothing says "I love you" like flowers ... wait a minute, I hate those bastards!Noodle Muffin

Wow, I can HEAR the spandex screaming across the internet!Yakko

Mama! My Young Pioneers Patriotic Agricultural Unit won the People's Victorious Red Youth Citation for our cheery rendition of "Hymn to Smothering The Imperialists With Our Record Output of Dandelion By-Product"!Eat Yerself Fitter Bulgakov

After months of continuous steroid use, Dolly finally had the strength to pull out simple garden weedsGecko Man

Check it out,guys! Grandpa Keane really IS pushin' up daisies!Doc Evil

"Heehee! Jeffy with hay fever, and me with these! Let's see who rules the panel NOW!"Magus

Gramma here's some flowers for your grave...when you finally die!R.J.M.

Thank god for Prop. 215!!!Bubba

Valentine's Day in the Keane household was always a special occasion. Dolly woul;d bring Bil flowers as a token her of love and elektra complex, just before he, in his traditional holdiay role of Caligula, would sacrifice one of the boys to the lions.nine elle

The flowers worked. Within a week the smell was all but gone. Now it was only a matter of washing up the bloodstains and plastering the old man in between the walls.nine elle

Look! They were givin' away free gifts at gran'ma's funeral!The Outsider

With Ophelia-like pathos, Dolly really believed the flowers were the Olympic torch, and that our Arizona split-level was a stadium in Nagano. Then she drowned in the wading pool. --PJ, Memoirssoon

When Dolly got the FTD job, Jeffy and I took bets on whether the child labor laws would shut her down before her own incompetence did. --Billy, Memoirssoon

Although her resemblance to Sally Field was uncanny, Dolly, the Flying Dyke never made it past the first episode.Riff

Hey, Mom, look what my instructor at the Female Gym Teacher training class gave me!Vitamin Tom

Hemp. Is there anything it *can't* do?Action Jackson

Back to the DFC Archive index