DFC #295

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

"CHRIST! The DFC is here an hour early! Jeffy! Stick something up Kittcat's butt! I'll go get the t-shirts with the stupid slogans!"Magus

Uh, I hate to break this to you Kittycat, but " Soylent Meow Mix " is made outta Heathcliff, Catbert, & Garfield!!!Doc Evil

OK, so it's a deal. You piss in Bil's shoes every night, and we'll take care of Dogbert for you.anon

Mom, why do I keep on getting the feeling that Kitty and Jeffy are sharing a little secret? I don't like the way Kitty is swishing her tail. Colin

How this cat survived the "toilet incident" I'll never know.NME--

"At least", thought Dolly Braun, while the Russian guns thudded above the bunker, "we'll die before the wedding night." -- Jeffy Speer, The Last Days of Der Furrer How Many Testicles Am I Holding?

"Look,Thel...Step 1: Catch it...Step 2: Stun it...Step 3: Cook it...Now...let's try it again, shall we?"Bunker Archie

"Without Blofeld, you're nothing!" the house-apes laughed. Tiddles, seeing his henchmen making their silent approaches toward the conference table, was far too professional to gloat and merely licked his whiskers carelessly.Rotter

Mom, Jeffy's undressing the cat with his eye's again. Make him stop!Yakko

Jeffy!! Turning family members into cuddly pets is Devil's work! Devil's work!!Scribe

"I thought you'd like crotch-flavored Spam!"Dave Matthews

"OK, Kittycat, I'll scoop your box twice a day and score you a case of salmon. Now what did you do with PJ?"Stealth

How much longer do we have eat dinner in the Blue Screen Backdrop so Dad can pretend we actually travel?Nethicus

"Double or nothing says there's room for the cat and my left foot up there.anon

"Yes, Jeffy, the Ancient Egyptians really used to worship cats as gods. Now hurry up and sacrifice your Fruit Loops to her before Mom and Dad curse us first."anon

Yes Jeffy, it IS an incredible view we have up here, but the descent's going to be hell.anon

Dolly just stared in disbeleif, Jeffy did have the ability to turn humans into animals. She was soon to discover there we many things worse than death.anon

Don't you think it's animal cruelty to have the cat hold the table in place with it's teeth?Anastasia

Mommy, how many times do we have to tell you: the tuna with the mermaid on the label is for people. The tuna with the cat on it is for Kittycat.Anastasia

"B-b-b-b-b-b-but, but, but, but I thought we BURIED her!"Magus

Jeffy glowed with satisfaction. Using Kitty as the process server was a stroke of genius.Larry Hastings

The American Dairy Council wisely rejected Keane's "Got milk?" panel, realizing how we'd speculate on the true source of the white facial stains.Gen. Sedgwick

This was the scene 3 seconds before Jeffy's head exploded, thus proving the saying, "Never have a staring contest with a telekinetic cat."the skyclad answer

A ten and a seven. Do you want another card, Mr. Bond?Bubba

OK, kitty, transporting us to a dimensionless void is a neat trick, but let's see if you can straighten out Jeffy's fucked up hair.ninailer

The Family Circus Meets THX 1138.Chess Piece Face

"So as you can see Mr. Kittycat, fourth quarter earnings will depend on our success in the Asian markets..." "Mom, what the hell'd ya put in Jeffy's Kool-Aid?"TeenyLittleSuperGuy

"Okay, Mommy, we believe in your magick now and we'll be good. If you're not going to turn Billy back, can I have his waffle?"Thomas Wilde

In a failed attempt to boost readership, Bil Keene attempts to recast the part of Billy. While Bill the Cat was quite difficult to play lines against, it was much better than the Boxcar Willy fiasco.bobo

"In that direction," the Cat said, "lives a Hatter; and in that direction" waving the other paw, " lives a March Hare." Quick-thinking Dolly took the cake labelled 'Eat Me' and as a giantess stomped the poor feline to death.ThinkAndDo

"Beelzebub, show thyself! We see thy glowing red eyes within the cat!"Darth Vader, Lord of the Dance (with no help whatsoever from the Rabid Rabbi).

"So I implore you, Don Garfieldo ... will you help us?"Shem

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