DFC #291

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

You WILL put on this other dress or I'll replace your head with a brussel sprout.R.J.M.

"Hmm. Yeah, she's pretty fun, but somehow, Whorehouse Barbie just isn't the same."Magus

Okay, Barbie... Let's see if we can wedge yer new ass into THIS!Doc Evil

There, now you're pretty enough to have sex with your Daddy.Mike Smith

Sorry, Barbie, Ken doesn't like that outfit. It makes you look like a whore, he says. Put this one on before he smacks you around again. You don't want to make Ken upset.anon

Look, you stupid little bitch, you'll make twice as much money tonite if you wear this little girlie outfit. Don't make me smack you up!Noodle Muffin

So you want an extremely tight ponytail in back? We can handle that.Namgubed the Merry Elf

Scene from Honey, I Shrunk Courtney Love , in theaters this summer.anon

Hey, I'm missing my Jon-Benet action garrote!Dain Bread

"Would Barbie like to wear the wedding dress? Nooooooo. Would Barbie like to gut her parents in the night like mongrel dogs? Yessssss."Jizmo the Wonder Horse

Oh dear, New Figure Barbie(TM), looks like you've put on some weight. Used Italian salad dressing without making sure it was fat-free, didn't you? And now Ken's left you for Mihoshi from Tenchi Muyo. And you can't go clubbing because none of your clothes fit anymore. I dunno; can you think of a reason to go on living?ewhac

This is how it feels to live without furniture, Barbie -- get used to it.Namgubed the Merry Elf

No, no -- you'll want the traveling dress for when Jean arrives in her "leather pirate" outfit.Namgubed the Merry Elf

It's the microwave for you, me proud beauty.Treb

The success of 1996's "Tickle Me Elmo" spawned several imitators, such as 1997's moderate-seller "Sleep N Snore Ernie" and 1998's "Make Me Come Barbie."M

Yah, you wore this one in picture 1207.jpg on alt.binaries.pictures.barbie.upskirt.no.genitaliaRainman

Oh, Barbie, another dress ruined. Why don't they make tampons your size?Heywood Jablome

I think this dress along with your red "fuck-me" pumps will get G.I. Joe's attention.R.J.M.

I don't mind daddy playing with my dolls, but i wish he would clean em off after he is done!Fig

My feminism teacher was right, this shit is oppressive!Fig

"Conn-stant cravvve-ing is allllll I feelllll..."k.d. lang's kid brother

Oh, look, Barbie, there's Ken butt-naked and hogtied to the Dream House chimney! What ever shall we do about it?Horselover Fat

Daddy was right! All i had to do was threaten father Mulroony with going public and the church gave us $50,000.Fig

Yep, you've got my number. Nothing like playing with dolls to counter those dyke tendencies. Ripping the clothes off beautiful femmes-- yep, that'll cure me.Horselover Fat

"Very funny, Mom. Very droll. No, I won't forget to put her panties on to keep her ankles warm. Ha ha ha." a non dog

Here you go, Barbie. You want to look good for your hanging, now don't you?Riff

...but then you'll just end up as a bored blow job machine like Mommy...dap

Dolly was the envy of the block with her Invisible Barbie®©™.Medea Bunkmesser

I don't care how many times they redesign Barbie. As long as she has anything resembling an hourglass figure, I just can't relate.Hugh Jass

They're right--Barbie IS grossly out of proportion. Just look at the shape of her head!marty gray

The new "realistic" Barbie is shit compared to the new Flaming Faggot Ken®!M

I'm not sure Ken want's to roleplay "Victorian Slut" today. How about "Little Bo Pee"?Nethicus

Now the trick is to hide this under a portion of your dress they can't see... and voila! You're a shoplifter!Nethicus

Dolly "the Pituitary Pretty" was rescued from her sideshow prison by none other the super glamorous Barbara Mandrell, who made the gentle giant her very own chambermaid. Eat Yerself Fitter

I wonder why I have so many damn dresses for my doll, yet I only own one pair of polyester coaching shorts that make my thighs look pudgy?Eat Yerself Fitter

Barbie's wider hips make me feel a little better, I guess, but I'm STILL waiting for DISPROPORTIONATE EYELID BARBIE..Trevita

"*sigh* I wish that Crossdresser Ken had more accessories."Stealth

I tried to explain to Daddy about forcing gender roles on his children, but he said he was too busy readin' his Altarboy Cumshot magazine to give a fuck.p!

How pathetic. Relegated to playing in a bare room with a toy that knocks down my self-esteem level every time I play with it. And it doesn't help that Jeffy's doin' the nasty with my "Happy to be Me" doll.Ultra-Girl

Once again, Barbie reinforces an unattainable image of female beauty. Her vertically-oriented skull and dual nostrils are, sadly, ideals that Dolly will never be able to achieve.Jizmo the Wonder Horse

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