DFC #276

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I sure as hell don't know what you little brats are waving at... You can't even see over the window sill!Dutch

It was the trauma of Billy leaving for school that jumpstarted P.J.'s abilities. Believe me, you don't want to see one of those melon heads explode. --from Scanners 5: The Keane GenerationLarry Hastings

A whole bus to pick up children! The gypsies have gotten a lot more efficient since my day.I AM DAMO SUZUKI

You'd think the school board could spend a little money on actual education. But no, all the buses just had to have white walls.Vitamin Tom

Don't press too hard on the " glass ", it's only Saran Wrap.Doc Evil

As Grandma yammered on, Thel's own words echoed in her ears. "If you don't get on that bus with Dolly where you belong, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life. It doesn't take much to see that the problems of seven little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand. Here's looking at you, melonhead."we'll always have tv's Spatch

Goodness! Look at all the melon-headed children! Now do you believe me that it was wrong for the military to test the A-bomb here?Ratman

...and someday, little ones, you too can scurry off with your peers to slowly be molded into mindless weapons of destruction for the coming apocalypse. And gol durn it, you'll like it!Ultra-Girl

Thel... if none of the kids are pubescent yet, whose hair is poking out of my coffee cup?jellybean

"Years ago, I used to work the school buses myself. Heh, heh, earned a helluva lot of lunch money. That's how I met your father." Randall

It's kind of sad, now that I think about it, all the life that's going to be wasted in..err...four minutes and thirteen seconds. But it'll be one hell of a show!toade

Billy's heart swelled with pride as Grandma belched her goodbyes...Thel caught a piece of "Cracklin' Bran" on her ear, but hey, if it made the kids happy...Tillman

"Enough about this sentimental going-away-on-the-first-day-of-school crap. Will any one of you get Gramma the friggin' Equal?!?"Damo Suzuki

Ah school, hmmmmmm...school days, school days, old and golden rule days...reading and...uh...reading and...SHIT...reading and writing, YEAH, that's it! ...reading and writing and...uh...DAMN...reading and walking and...oh hell, I hated school anyway.R.J.M.

Oh look kiddies...that big monster with the flashing eyes is eating your brother...now it's digesting him!R.J.M.

This reminds me. I got a lovely thank you card from Billy's teacher for the supply of valium we sent her.Anastasia

"What are those negro children doing riding in the front?"dangerous comedy

While he kept up a brave front, Billy always loathed having to explain to the other kids why his father liked to start off the day in drag. William Keane Jr: Psychological Profile of a KillerPodbeing

"Ah, the old 'school bus' trick works every time. Say goodbye to your brother, kids, 'cuz the next time you see him, he'll be cleaning cages in the circus!"Coalcracker

Don't claw the glass, dear, this is a government research facility. You should be glad they let the "control group" visit us at all.garden weasel

What a weekend, that was the best $300 we ever spent, I'm sorry to see the little stud go.Mattness

You did remind them to shout, "Allah akbar" first, didn't you, dear?NME

Back when I was Billy's age, we didn't have school buses, we walked six miles in the snow uphill.... Aw fuck it, none of you are listening. I pray for death.Hans Moleman

The plastique in Billy's lunch bag should incinerate the whole bus just about as they pass the ATF building -- another blow against the jackbooted government thugs! Now, who wants a cinnamon roll straight from the oven?Paul Roub

"The enlistment age just get's lower, doesn't it? Well, he'll be back by Christmas -- if he's a good little boy."Sebastian Crowley

Heavens!! There's ole' Earl the bus driver...I used to ride him til' the floor joyces snapp'dArby

Thel, have you ever treated third degree coffee burns on a toddler before? You're about to.Arby

Thanks for letting me watch this. After raising Bil for twenty years it's incredible to see a Keane ride to school in a bus with more than eight seats!Rotter

So how long before they wonder why all of their "field trips" take them to farms for nine hours of stoop labor?Rotter

"The real secret? Every few years or so, as the kids got a little long in the tooth, we'd set them up for a 'schoolbus scene'. Little did they know they weren't comin' back! They ship in some younger kids the next day and the illusion of eternal childhood was maintained." --Bil Keane, Playboy Interview, March 1996Blue Gargantua

I was in the living room when I thought I heard the sound of eighteen second-grade boys spontaneously turning gay. Why am I not surprised to find you standing here with your robe open?Rotter

Honestly Thel, I don't understand how you can allow Billy to go to public school when they teach evolution theory and don't force children to pray to Jesus!anon

Hey, the announcer said that Regis will be working out with Richard Simmons after the commercial. Can I borrow "Little Bil"?Rotter

Wow, that was my best Aikido lesson ever! Hey, Thel, come at me like you've got a sai in your right hand, okay? Jeffy, PJ, you're gonna love this...Rotter

I keep telling those two they're being subjected to the devil's words at that school! Evolution! The Big Bang! At least these two kids have enough sense to go for our home schooling. Good, strict education with decency, discipline, and paddling. Lots and lots of paddling.agm

It's sad really, I never figured him for a Jew. Still, the Fuhrer will be pleased. Will their be anything else, Herr Commandant?Vice Pope Doug

Yes, yes, bye bye Billy. Well now, I'd best go update our CGI scripts and hack the router config. to bypass that nasty old TCP/IP stack error before the Reverend gets here for tea.anon

Thel, I think PJ has watched 'Triumph of the Will' enough this week.Radio Show

"Buck up, dearie. The state can make you send them to school, but they can't make you love them."Westur the Unspeakable

WHOA! My mouth is open! For once in 35 years, my son draws me with my mouth open! Hmm...hey, nice hair, Thel! Didja hit up Jane Jetson for it?Dan Jones

Oh, Thel . . . the little one is trying to wave for help again. Why don't you hold him still while I pour this tea down his back? That should teach him we mean business with this no-interference policy.Hideo Spanner

Ahhh.. now we can finally begin the monthly meeting of the Society of Cauliflower and Helmet Heads for World Domination!The Outsider

You call that a Nazi salute..in my day when we honored the Furher...our arms were straight.Herr Valdo

Wow...one day you're changing his diapers and feeding him bottles and all of a sudden you're sending him off to be sodomized by a big hairy 3rd grade teacher named Chuck. El Scorcho

Yes, Thel. It is amazing. Some strange invisible substance, smooth to the touch. We can see outside, but stay warm inside. The salesman called it "glass"Derek Robb, King of Monsters

My, oh my, these are priceless. With these Family Circuis Manniquins, it should be days before anyone thinks to even look for the bodies.Bionic Duck

I don't know why you complain about my son's art work - everytime I come over there are trees, shadows, backgrounds, furniture, detailed objects, happy children...myke

"Now stop it you two. I don't care what his report card said, Billy is not Hitler incarnate!"Polemius Bouss

Ah, Mr. Thindlebaum's School for Disproportionally Drawn Children. I remember sending little Bil to the same school not so many years ago.Tangent

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