DFC #27

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

I like this a lot better without the LCD editorial feature.Vy Rothko

Strap-on cowboys of the ooooooooooooooold west!Friend of Tone Csernak, Hungarian Stallion

Do you think the tribal scarring clashes with my fanny piercing?anon

And see those little numbers? When they go above this mark, I puke up my ding dongs.anon

Good thing that wall was there, or the immense weight of my head would have toppled me over. Grab that ponytail and see if you can yank me upright, would you Helga?Greg J

Mommy says this damn thing lies, so I only weigh eleventeen pounds!Mike Peterson

Legs like Popeye, arms like a thalidomide baby and a head like a football! Thanks, Bil, thanks for everything!Roy Olsen

Hmm... It says: "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!!!!".Magus

Cool! My head's gained three more pounds this week!anon

What happens is, Daddy strips Mommy and makes her stand on this, then he yells and screams and she starts crying. Felonious Monk

If you say so, but I don't think my shorts are that heavybrian miller

Why won't the scale talk to me?! The refrigerator does!Dan

95 pounds! If I were 42 inches taller, I could be a supermodel!Kurt L.

Twenty pounds lighter! No wonder you keep winning our erotic catfights!Kurt L.

Why, yes, I love Taco Bell! Why do you ask?Kurt L.

I thought it was a scale, but Mommy keeps calling it a "dirty lying motherf**ker."Kurt L.

The fortune thingie says: "You will know many strong women named Butch."Roger Mexico

If you sing Michael Bolton's "Can I touch you there," one more time, I'm gonna puke.Roxanne LeReaux

(Insert your own anal-sex joke here)anon

Okay, acording to the "Wheel of Comics" today's strip is going to be... Stupid. Just like all the others....Magus

Thats it! My neck just gave out! Damn this poor excuse for a cantelope head of mine!!

Think we could crush guy's heads with our thighs yet?the Shagman

"Wow, Billy was right: pound for pound I AM cheaper than a hooker!"Quasimomo

What? Oh, I'm just wondering why all us little girls in this strip are stubby, fat, ugly little creatures. Damn that Bil Keane! Damn him to Hell!!Bill Hunter

hypothetically speaking, do you think anyone would be dumb enough to superglue their head to a wall?--doubleG

Free weights may be fine for your but I prefer just standing here and hitting my head against the wall for ten reps. I don't build much muscle, but I no longer care.Gaia's Light

Dang, I can't make it go 'SPROING' like my Daddy does.Kyosuke

Wow! I can see the effect of those steroid pills already. Thanks Tiffany!Kyosuke

OK, lessee... Will this caption be "strap on dildos" or "eating disorders"?paTRICK heSTER

"So that means a turd weighs about half a pound."jeffy

I swear to God Helga, if you pat my ass again and tell me how cute it is, I'm gonna knock you into next week.Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar

Bizarre. The scale is right up against the wall, yet I can lean over and look at it from the back. Who drew this, Bil Keane or M.C. Escher?anon

Who needs dieting? If I wan to lose weight, I just have body parts surgically removed. Take my forearms as an example...Kiet Le

Light a match and stand back, Hilda, This is gonna be a HOOT!zazu

Ten more pounds and I'll be a bull dyke just like you, Hilda!zazu

You know Billy, there's something about you this morning that just looks, hmmm, different.Tom Jenkins

Your dad's Flat Top? You'll find him in the Dick Tracy panel on the next page. This is the DFC.anon

OK...I'm looking REEEAAL close. Now what happens?monterey

Another 2 pounds! Wow, you ARE the littlest Richard Simmons!Nethicus

Yup, I see that wall now - it fell right off the panel!Matthew Davidson

Helga, aren't you supposed to be on a soup can somewhere?Incoherency

I just can't seem to get under fifteen pounds. I guess even bulemia has its limits.anon

I think it's broken... Mom made this spin like a slot machine yesterday.Stefenie

That George Clooney 'do ain't gonna cut it with the ladies, Billy!zazu

You wanna hear something funny? Mommy told me I could play with you all I want, so long as I don't pick up the soap! Isn't that funny? Hilda? Uh, Hilda?King Tony the Magnificent

The girls would learn a great many lessons that day about trust, friendship, and emergency room procedure. But they were about to learn the most important lessons of all; that a bathroom scale is not the same as a snowboard, that a flight of stairs is not the same as a snow-covered Aspen ski run, and that Mr. Gravity is not your friend.Pete B.

If my head wasn't full of helium I'd fall flat on my face!anon

It's a ritual they do, see? First you lean left, then step right, wiggle a bit, and the line goes down a little. Then you take off your shoes...Phyllis

...and this is our scale room. That's right, there's nothing in here but a scale. And they say Bil's a lazy artist! He draws an entire new room for each household appliance!Greg J

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