"'It's a lot more money,' you said, 'It'll get you exposure,' you said. I don't care, Murray, you just get me a one-way ticket back to Derry. These people are scaring me."phil
Hello? Billy the Wacky Incontinent Clown speaking! How may I... Uh-oh...Doc Evil
Boy, am I embarrassed. It turned out to be a seminar on cloning not clowing .The Unmasked Revenger
Doctor, help. I'm deathly afraid of myself.Mighty Owl
Spinnwebe proudly announces his new sponsor: Dockers loose fitting clown jeans.Doc Evil
Psychic Friends Network? No you've called the Psychotic Friends Network.Terminus
Jeffy is disappointed by the inevitable result of his Kiss audition.Namgubed the Merry Elf
"Send in....the Keanes. Those daffy, wacky Keanes..."Thomas Wilde
Why, no, Dr. Cuthbertson, I haven't noticed any unusual side effects from the medicine.Namgubed the Merry Elf
Whadya mean there's no room in the car?! There's always room in the car, dammit!!!P.T. Barnum
After Dolly's "husband", Ygor moved in, he would monopolize the phone for hours, trying to convince the Department of Immigration not to send him bach to Bratislava.Wildman
Hello, Texas? I figured I have a lot of experience being poked in the ass, and I have my own clown suit. Can I join your rodeo?Doppelganger
"Neverland Valley Ranch, this is Macaulley speaking..."Jack Seward, KGB
That's right, Mrs. Derkins. If you ever want to see Susie alive again, leave 5 seltzer bottles in the boiler room at the bus station.Anastasia
The Joker calls his two evil accomplices, the Smoker and the Midnight Toker.Steve Miller
I gotta go, Zippy... But please rethink your views on hobosexuals in the pinhead military.2BRO2B
Jeffy, leader of the infamous Ku Klux Klowns, would often terrorize blacks with threatening phone calls.Magus
Gramma, can you please have a word with your son? He's starting to take this "Family Circus" thing too literally again, and the lions've already gotten Dolly.The Outsider
Hello? Suicide Encouragement Hotline?CrAsH
"Microsoft technical support, can I help you?"Hikerguy
The strategy worked! After the Killer-Clown-from-Outer-Space had off'ed most of the Keanes, Billy had spiked the phone with a killer carrot. The clown didn't know what hit him.Willie won't go home
Jeffy never did learn how Bil managed to fit live lampreys into both ends of the phone, but he never tried to call for help again.nine elle
Stephen King's office, this is Pennywise. May I help you?Mr. Ben
This week, Tammy Faye Bakker fills in for an ailing P.J.Jizmo the Wonder Horse
Yes, Grandma, a clown. But if you think that's bad you should see what he's making Billy do with those cinder blocks.Jack Seward, KGB
Why, yes...this is a Bugle Boy clown suit!Rotter
No, you don't actually "blow" on it, you... Whoops! Gotta run.Bubba
Yeah, I'm running away to join the circus. We haven't aged in 30 years...why should our ideals?Magua
A scene from the failed comic "Amos and Jeffy"Goon
Another of Billy's get rich quick schemes fails miserably as he learns that while "Everybody Loves a Clown," nobody wants to have phone sex with one.-Jester
"Yeah, I know it looks stupid, but you should see the hair he normally draw me with! It looks like you can scrub by head against a frying pan to get out that burnt-on mess, you know what I'm saying?"--Jester
His career in ruins, Emmanuel Lewis just had to win back Michael's love. He just had to.7 Years in Babette
"Hello? Social Services? This is Jeffy Keane again. Look, I don't care about rules and regulations anymore! All in my head, you say?! Right now I'm dressed as an evil clown! My suit is crotchless! Now find me a SANE family! Comprende?!" Tillman
The Joker began his life of crime as a youth making crank phone calls.Rich Coughlan
If you think this image is scary and disturbing, you should see what they have Uncle Roy wearing. The words "chicken wire" and "Strategically placed play dough" come to mind.nonentity
There's more truth behind "those MCI clowns" than you may think...Adam... not affiliated with communist europe
This 'Insane Klown Posse' fad is really getting out of hand....agm
House arrest didn't stop Jeffy from 'Trick-or-Treating'Radio Show
Yes, this is the office of the White House counsel, may I help you?the whiner
No, this is the Zippy ANONYMOUS hotline! I have a translucent TELEPHONE!! I am NAKED with MEASLES!anon
Don't bother...they're here.Anthony Nambla
My Daddy makes them laugh, PJ thought. Sometimes they laughed until they cried. Now I'm going to just make them cry . . . .phonsux
"Get this: 'What am I, a clown? Am I here to amuse you?' Get it! Ha!...Hello?.......Hello?"Sir Psycho Sexy
Despite their best efforts, Bil and Thel couldn't keep Jeffy from dressing as Pennywise during Halloween, or any other holiday for that matter.alt.fan.spinnwebe needs posts!
... an' I'm only gonna wear it until the statute of limitations runs out.Vice Pope Doug
Well, there's obviously no other way this strip is ever gonna be funny!Vice Pope Doug
So Luann's daddy is runnin' all over the neighborhood lookin for the "clown who's fuckin' with my daughter" -- so I figured ...Vice Pope Doug
Hey, for fifty bucks, a good gram, an' two Metallica tickets --- you'd do it too, so just shut up!Vice Pope Doug
Yeah, listen sweetie. I don't care if he's got Dogbert and the fucking King of Id in with him right now. You get that fuck Murray on the phone right now so he can tell me why I'm in full costume in a solo shot. Murray? Noone can recognize me, Murray. And if noone knows I'm Jeffy, WHAT THE FUCK GOOD IS A SOLO???xian, the boy with the monkey heart
"We traced the call -- the elephant is INSIDE the HOUSE! Get out of there!" Mycroft
Oh, hi Grandma! Uh...I don't really know which one I am...give me a minute...Jim Smith
"Daddy says dialing 911 isn't funny so I called to cheer you up."Trann Falco
Jeffy caught his reflection in the mirror as he spoke into Wonder Woman's invisible phone that hung from the ceiling. "A clown, huh? Polka dots, eh?" Maybe the giant lemon with Dolly's voice was right. Maybe he was tripping on some bad acid.Vitamin Tom
The phone-solicitation bozo that always calls during dinner.Ratman
Disconnected--of course it was... Bil's precious "Clown Suit Night" would not slip through his fingers that easily. Jeffy clenched his teeth and somberly marched back to the "big top".Mighty Owl
"Welcome to 1-900-DIAL-CLOWN. I'm wearing huge polka-dot coveralls with frilly cuffs. I've got a big, banana-shaped smile and a funny bowler derby. Ohhh, yes, and I've got Larry fine's hair and this gorgeous squeaky red nose ...Riff
What am I wearing? Are you sure you want an answer to that?Riff
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