DFC #235

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Check it out! It's a SPINNWEBE!!!Mr. Ben

THIS was what the alphabet soup was trying to tell us! The letters of "FAMILY CIRCUS" can be rearranged to spell..."CRUCIFY ISLAM"!anon

It wasn't a perfect solution, but Billy's compound insect-eye prosthesis would finally allow his eyeless father to see.marty gray

We're replaced Billy's brain with Folger's Crystals; Let's see what he thinks!Terminus

Bil just stared. "What in the hell does 'whoaaaaa im trippin my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play' mean anyway?" he thought.alanon

"My God! It's full of stars!"Drew

...but Billy was just wasting his breath. The shape of the panel was not negotiable.alanon

Can't be one of yours -- it has a point.Gen. Sedgwick

Billy was thinking about quirkish prisms... Bil was thinking about Turkish prisons...Caption Courageous

It was suddenly clear to Mr. Keane about Billy's hidden new talent and suddenly he set to work thinking of what to do about Billy's "shining"Jacques Strap

As impassioned youths, they composed flowery lyrics drescribing the beauty of an unveiled breast glimpsed by a longing eye from afar, but men, weary and wise in the harsh truths of the world, they simply stare from behind the safety of thier lenses as they grow hard then thrust thier hands deep into thier pockets. anon

Bil had the most unusual feeling that they were being observed through a telescope, in a strange cyclical way.CAR

Bil had conflicting thoughts of pride and suspicion. Perhaps Billy could use the oracle to communicate with Helios, or perhaps he was just envisioning the top of Bart Simpson's head.jedi mind trip

Can't...tell...you...how....many...injuns...are...beyond...that...cliff...that...."peace pipe"...they...gave...us....yesterday...is...finally...taking...effect ...on...my...eyesight.Tazabby

As prophesied in Holy Writ, the time had arrived for the Fall of the Plaid Clothing Empire. Reverently, Billy consulted the Mystic FabroScope to divine the next pattern for Daddy's jacket.Kevin

"Here's what really caused our family's financial ruin: Daddy and Billy's tolerance to lysergic acid diethylamide built up to the point where they had to fill a whole Pringles can with the stuff." --Dolly Keane, The Shattering of a Young Girl's Vassar DreamsKevin

Well, Dad, those DFC people are right about your cartoon being stuck in the '60s, but I've found an up side.Kevin

The Keanes loved to play Famous Scientist Charades, but Bil found this one perplexing. Was Billy trying to be Galileo Galilei, or Albert Hoffman?Kevin

Well, Cut and Carrat are off the chart, but you get shit for Color and Clarity! Damn it Bil! How are we gonna fool DeBeers with garbage like this!?Blue Gargantua

"I'm telling you mein Fuhrer, if we just break up the R-phase protien betwen gene links 12 and 143 this bacteria could wipe out all the sub-races within ... what? We're on? Oh... *Gee, Daddy, How'd they trap so many snowflakes in this little tube?***.... Now, if I may continue...Delsyn

"...Three years in India, and this is all you come back with? A fucking mandala in a cardboard tube? I can see you've got a long way to go to get to enlightenment, Bil!"Generik

Bil wasn't sure which was more surprising--his newfound ability to see into his children's minds, or the fact that all of them seemed to have taken just as much acid as he had.anon

"Geez, when I ask him to guest-draw the strip, he never draws anything that complex, " huffs Bil.tv's Spatch

"Sure I knew it was just a paper towling tube, but when your old man is an unpredictable, washed up, drunk... well you try to humour him." -excerpt from 'My Life With The Thrill Bil Cult' by William KeaneBil's Drinkin' Buddy

While some cartoonists just cover dirty language with some punctuation, Bil went all out for the "Dildo-Skullfuck" sequence...zapper

Billy was impressed, but he couldn't comprehend the significance of Bil fitting the Esther Williams entourage into the small tube.R.J.M.

Oh my god, thought Bil. His theories on random patterns are more mathematically sound than my own. What if he gets my grant money? I've got to make this look like an accident. alanon

I don't really have anything funny to say, but doesn't Bil appear to have the stick rammed further up his butt than usual?Marlboro

Jesus, Bil, that's be BIGGEST fucking snowflake I've ever seen! And it's headed this way! Aiiiiyyy (thud).snowbird

As Billy jabbed the stick end of the PushUp into his eye, Bil couldn't help marvelling at how beautifully his son expressed pain.Heath

"Some Rorschach test THIS is, Dad. They all look like pussy!"Heath

Billy mentally diagrams the plot of David Lynch's Lost Highway.Rotter

Bil admired his own handiwork. Split focus! He had finally achieved the ever elusive split focus in a single panel strip! And they all said he was mad at the academy! It was time to celebrate with rough, nonconsentual anal sex!The contrived one

Boss! De Paisley! De Paisley!Trevita

Yep, it's definitely a strain of Ebola. Nasty one, too. You're toast, Bil.Coalcracker

Jeffy was RIGHT! If you twist it just right, it does look like Carmen Miranda stripping!Kevin Wayne Williams

Captain! It's the Crystalline Entity, and -- uh oh. Damn! I have the red shirt!Mr. Moody

Ah,yes, a classic Barnsley fractal with orbit eccentricity of 3.7 and a Heine periodicity curve.....*sigh*...ah, fuck it. Pull my finger.Dave

"Dude! Check out Gran'ma's varicose veins!"Namgubed the Merry Elf

Christ in a crutch, Bil, how long did it take you to draw this? No furniture for a week, and for one crappy special effect?!?!BretttMaverick

Bil had to face up to it, Billy had a drinking problem..anon

Congratulations, Bil, you got scammed again. This isn't ecstasy, it's laundry detergent.Schickelgruber

You're right, they do form letters... "Hello Satan"... "i farted"... "blow me hard"... So this is where they've been getting the Stupid Zone captions!!Danersck Rubric Intaglio

You really should have saved this for Sunday, Bil. In black-and-white, it just looks like Pablo Picasso drew the New York Times Crossword.phil

This week in Concepts in Computer Science, we'll explore what happens when you forget to malloc pointer space in a daily cartoon strip.Pengie

There's trouble at the Vatican! To the Meloncave!L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

To counteract Jeffy's sudden rise to fame, The Artist Formally Known As Billy decides to change his name to an un-pronouncable sysmbol.bobo

I really can see Dot's nipple tattoo from here.Steve Savage

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