DFC #22
Wait a minute, wait a minute, where's the stuff that's supposed on the bottom shelves? Do you think Bil could get any MORE lazy??J-rad
Well, THIS is a pretty chickenshit arrangement!E.Z.
"Look, granny, I don't care what EITHER of you say...the line to give Jeffy a wedgie forms behind ME!!"Wes Flinn
Jeffy says the bookcase is half-full. PJ says it's half-empty. I say you should've stopped calling QVC three friggin' shelves ago!!!Andy Ihnatko
Thank God you're here! Two big guys broke in and stole everything! OK, I'm gonna go out and get the police. I'll be back in, umm, about three hours or so.Andy Ihnatko
Well, I guess it's better than sleeping in the trunk of Gramma Keane's LeBaron.Andy Ihnatko
Yeah, same thing in our house. How come every time people split up, the guy gets to take all the stereo stuff?Andy Ihnatko
Look! Near the center crease! Spider-Man and Brenda Starr are gettin' it on!Andy Ihnatko
So, not trustin' us with the breakables, huh Gran'ma? PJ, climb up there and start smashin' shit! We'll show the crone how kindly we take to such insults!"Krull" was a fine film.
Look, here's a booger Grampa rubbed under the shelf back before he died!Scott Arnett
Look at all the stuff that billy has made out of his own crap. He is going to start a horse todayDuh
When this top heavy curio cabinet tips over on one of us, we're gonna sue you for every penny you got, you fat bitch.Hugh Jass
When you & Grandpa croak, we'll get this house, and we'll put your ashes right here!Janet Mickelson
I yell *BOO!" and the little dweeb hits his head on the shelf. Works every time!zazu
It's OK, Grandma, we've been through this before... just call the pawn shop and the liquor store and ask 'em to hang on to Billy when he comes in.Paul Roub
You just think you've defeated us! As soon as Jeffy finishes concentrating his chi, he'll show you a kick that'll make Jackie Chan look like your grandmother! Horselover Fat
Everyone come quick! Billy's getting ready to make a stinky!anon
And this shelf is for the idol of Hastur, He Who Shall Not be Named. Oh shit.anon
Ok, I'll behave! Now get my goddamn insulin from the top shelf!zazu
Don't worry Gramma, Jeffy does at home all the time.the brian
What do you suppose he sees in there?RLW
Jeffy's been starin' at that same spot for three hours now. I think he must have got into your medication again.Greg J
Dammit bitch, how am I supposed to discipline Jeffy when you keep moving the cattle prod? I want it back on this shelf in ten seconds or your ass is mine, do you hear me?matt
But Gran'ma, why-- Oh, crap. Hold the punchline. Looks like Jeffy's been into the acid again.Craig
Watch this - P.J. will run full-speed into whatever object I point at!Craig
Jeffy said he's practicin' to be a plumber, and he needs to get juuuust the right amount of butt-crack showing when he bends over.Craig
What's this crap doing at the side of this cliff? Let's push it over!anon
"I guess this means you didn't buy that Ida Know and Not Me crap last time."Jeffy
I Don't care if you're living on catfood! If You hock my Raffi albums again I'll kneecap you, ya old twat! zazu
Either you put the breakables down here where we can reach 'em, or Jeffy's taking a dump right here, I swear it!Pagan
Hey, this shelf is about as empty as one of Dad's backgrounds!Sauron
He's been like this ever since you moved these shelves where the TV used to be. But it still freaks me out when he sings along to the commercials.Rusty Q.
SHIT! Okay, Granny, YOU answer the door and pretend you live here! PJ, you drag the dead guy into the bedroom and stash him in a closet. Jeffy, you get the van started. Shit, I hate it when a job gets botched!Bruce Gabrielle
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