He's going to torch the station wagon! Step on it, Mom!Mike M.
They watched Bil's approach with calm resignation. Only Billy--his arms trapped in the closed rear window--wasn't prepared to "leave his vehicle" in the cleansing flame.Marty Gray
Okay, what's with the forehead? Did you have to pay for the gas with your frontal lobes or something?Charlie Steinhice
"Come on, daddy, keep running! She can't go that fast stuck in first gear! Don't leave us alone with her, PLEASE!"anonymouse
Hey Dad! Wouldn't it be easier if you rode with us until we actually run out of gas?Mutant Dog
You call that an arson job? Look behind you - you had a gallon of hi-octane and you couldn't even get Charley Brown's house to stay lit without syphoning gas out of his dad's old jalopy!OM
Bil, you're pathetic! You took so damn long, we had hitchhikers offering to give us rides!OM
Daddy! You stopped for drinks, didn't you?! Your nose is bloodshot!kewie
When Bil saw Billy's decapitated head and arms stuck in the back window, he knew that it was now a really lousy day...Colin
I don't know which is worse...the old bastard abandoning us out here, or feeling remorse and coming back.Jojo the spiv
Only half a gallon? We'll have to lighten the load. Should we draw straws or should Thel hook a ride home like the last time?Pastor of Muppets
Dad, as much as you might want it to, the car won't run on piss!Riff
"Now, do you see why cell-phones and triple A are worthwhile, you cheap zero?"phonsux
Thanks, papa. You really came through for us this time.Mighty Owl
Hurry up. The radio said there's an escaped prisoner with a prosthetic hand on the loose!Pik
Aw Jeeeez!! We needed a tire, Bil! A fuckin' tire, not gas!Ratman
Note to myself: stop sucking before the gasoline reaches the end of the hose.ewhac
We send you to get gas and you come back with a jug of hillbilly wine?! That's it. I'm walking!goon
Hey, that's not the real Bil! What is this, Bewitched or something?!Tom
Step on the gas, mom! The T-1000 is catching up, and he's morphing from dad into Rodney Dangerfield!Tom
Good news: time travel works. Bad news: this is still the DFC, fuckhead!Vice Pope Doug
You fool! You forgot to cover the license plates! Let's get the hell outta here!Big ol' Bob
Well, it's about friggin' time, Bil. We've already had 5 guys offer to fill Mommy up.Dave--yeah, that'll work
How did you manage to elude the redneck with the banjo?Anastasia
When you're done with that, you might want to change the front tires. We got bored waiting for you.Anastasia
"Dad, we all understand that you wish you never married Mom or had any of us-but what did it solve to burn down the church where you got married? All those innocents, they didn't deserve to die-why Dad, why!?"DR. SCHMUCK
Bil wondered, "Why couldn't a dog named Cujo stop by? Why couldn't several dogs named Cujo stop by?"phonsux
Bil knew that he'd never get away with it, but if he had to listen to Billy whine "Are we there yet?" one more time, they would all receive the cleansing fire of high octane hell....Raven
Dad, if I told you we panicked and ate Jeffy, would you promise not to do a cartoon about it?orrin bloquy
"Darjeeling? But we all wanted orange pekoe!"Jim Ellwanger
Dad, it's not that we don't appreciate your walking back to town and buying a gas can. We were just sorta hoping it might have occurred to you to fill it up.Paul Roub
Bil, what were you thinking?! The physical pain of Barfy taking me from behind is nothing compared to the emotional trauma I'm gonna suffer from all the DFC-ers having a field day with it!Steevie
Hurry it up, Dad! That cross is going attract a lot of attention in a minute or two...shane
AIIIIYYEEEEE! Tip O'Neil!anon
"Dad, it's pointless asking. This is the road to Hell."Daniel Lanker
"You and your damn philosophy of never wasting anything. Just because you ran over a squirrel doesn't mean that you have to jump outta the car and cook the carcass-I mean, WHAT FOR? The other animals don't even care if their food is well done & seasoned properly. What the fuck is the matter with you? What?"DR. SCHMUCK
You made sure grandma was dead, right? You buried her deep, right? You burned her clothes, right? You made sure to say the entire dark mass, right?anon
Come on! Faster! How are you gonna win the "Pervert and Tea Kettle" walking race if you don't practice?Tazabby
For several days after, Bil just couldn't figure out where the large burn mark on his left thigh came from.Tazabby
Hurry up! Dolly has to use the pot next!riverside
That's just great, pop; you remembered the gas, but where's my fucking latte!?Eric D. Ellis
You left your wallet in the car, Dad! How'd you get those scruffy-looking men at the gas station back there to give you gas?Neccowafer
I bet if you pour that on Barfy, he'll disconnect himself from my ass!Neccowafer
You'll get there much faster if you don't walk backwards!Mighty Owl
Dad, we needed GAS! We don't care if the ass-inflater was on sale!Preacher/Judge
Well, that was a long seven hours! Man, if Mommy hadn't called for pizza on her cellphone, we'd have star...oops...Rotter
Hey, save a quart of that stuff for me, will you? I told Jeffy I'd set him on fire if he sang "Found A Peanut" one more time, and I'm a man of my word.Rotter
Man oh man, unless you've got four cold Yoo-Hoos hidden behind your back, you're gonna feel real dumb walking all the way back into town!Rotter
Dad, you have to be the least enthusiastic arsonist I've ever seen!Crackers
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