... Jeffy's dreams of an award for his performance art piece Jealous of fruit were dashed when Dolly's piece, "Bil's Dream", during which she wore nothing but lederhosen while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo and killing cockroached with a mokey wrench,The Puckman
"Are you sure this is the way Mapplethorpe got his start?"Sgt. Spam
"Hello? Hello? Dammit, I can STILL hear that ringing! Hand me another one"halaq
Well, in this piece, the chair signifies my parents, the floor and mess my childhood, and the one bare banana... well... I haven't figured that out yet.Truant
Are you threatening me!? You do not want to face the wrath of my " Peeled Bananas of Justice!!! "Doc Evil
I'm ridding us of all worldly possessions before the Rapture, what the hell does it look like I'm doing!?Schickelgruber
"DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WANNA GO HOME.....Aw, come on, mommy....You thought this was cute when I was PJ's age...."Nightfall
"After peeling the bananas, he'd make me run around in the pile, hoping something funny would happen. From his cartoons alone, you might think that's my hair. In fact, those are callouses and scars." --from The Clown's Tears by Jeffery KeaneMike Smith
OK! We'll inject some heroin into these and fix that wiseass Chim-Chim for good! Kick *my* ass out of the Mach-5, willya?Paul "Pablo" Reed
Hey, if that Professor on " Gilligans' Island " can build a supercollider with bannanas and a bamboo chair then DAMMIT, so can I!Doc Evil
"Wow, Mom, that one squirted twenty feet! Your distance really improves with a little K-Y jelly, doesn't it? Now let's try two at a time, we'll get you on 'stupid people tricks' yet."Nightfall
This ought to draw in the perverts, two pounds of bananas and me in a skirt.The Most Rev.HolyOley
You haven't lived until you've seen a drunk cartoonist fall flat on his ass about three dozen times in a row!Riff
HA! Let's see those DFC perverts try and make something dirty out of THIS...Dave
Wait... So you really said "Put PJ in the chair" and "put the bananas in the blender"?Truant
"Oh come on, Linus is full of shit! The Great Pumpkin doesn't even exist. Now the banana fairy, that's a different story. Daddy said that if i've been REAL good this year and if I cover my self in banana pulp, the banana fairy will come and leave all of the Fruit of the Loom underwear I want!!!Huggy (Bear) not drugs!
"So I'm thinking, 'All those sex comments with one bananna, why not try a whole bunch of banannas!'"Speed R
Well smokin' banana peels is s'posed to get you high -- an' if this works, it'll save me a good fifty grand a year!Vice Pope Doug
None of these is staying up! This equinox thing is load of shit!chowderhead
Aw, c'mon, Mommy! Taunting the DFC is fun! If the phallic fruit don't get 'em, the one legged pants will! Mike Smith
...and another advantage to these is you never need a fluffer!!!Gen. Sedgwick
We dump 'em all in the filter system, see, and then tell the lifeguard that the pool's been draining funny ever since the United Leprosy Fund's Nude Water Polo Night!Rotter
"BANANA BOY don't just like EATING bananas! Wrkk! BANANA BOY like SITTING IN 'EM!!! RRAKKRwww! BANANAS! BANANAS!" (Jesus, How did I get talked into hosting SNL again?!?)Rotter
Clearly, Jerry Lewis was never terribly fussy about the acts he booked for the telethon's 4 AM slot.Rotter
OK, I got the banana peels outside the bedroom door. Now all you got to do is yell "Mommy's back." and BAMMO we'll finally get Uncle Roy on camera.Trotsky
Heh! When grandma sits on these she'll think she's ready for 'Depends Extreme.'Yogi Kirruther
Mommy! Is *this* one as big as daddy???stargazer
Wow, Mommy, that's amazing. If you can just find someplace to stick one more banana, we've got the record beaten.alanon
Watch! The more bananas I open, the smaller I get -- now this banana is as long as my legs!sharon
Uhh...Mommy? I'm stuck in th'wastebasket, again!Doc Evil
O.K. Daddy, I give up. How do you keep a moron busy?Anastasia
You see, the bananas symbolize the rich inner core of our being, which can only be reached by passing through the perilous field of slippery outer coverings which surround and protect them . . . either that, or I'm just a slob who loves bananas.anonymous
Back to the DFC Archive index