Welp...there goes my career as a moyle.insane
Mom, Snoopy's outside. He says he wants his ear back.. Sgt. Spam
This? Oh, it's " Freudian Caption " bait...Doc Evil
"This cartoon is so middle America even my shit is white."Psychobear
.... so I guarantee you that's the last time that bastard Barfy humps ANY of our legs!Vice Pope Doug
As a young child, Elvis had to sing for his peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Thus, a legend was born.Stdheev
So, Mr. Kong, you claim that were nowhere near the scene of the crime on the night in question. How then, may I ask, do you explain this?The Last Lemming
Pull my banana...?anon
How can I be 6 and already have a gut?? Banannas the size of footballs!!Mike Bilbow
Okay, here's you're proof! We rubbed out Gonzo, and Fozzie's next, unless you pay the ransom!The Doctor
It may be a bit moldy, but it's the last bit of food in this house....and it's MINE, ALL MINE!!!Tazabby
Thel Keane's cures for chroniclly masturbating children #12 of 147 ---- Try Krazy gluing a piece of fruit to the little pervert's hand, rendering it useless. See Fig 1. above.otis
It's for you, Mr. Belafonte.phonsux
I can't wait until Sunday so I can find out if I'm holding a banana or a cucumber.Dave
It Slices! It Dices! It even Circumcises! It's the NEW ' Black & Decker Pecker-Wrecker! ' Endorsed by Tim Curry!Doc Evil
Yes, I am a "pickle smoocher". So what?Pickelgruber
A banana! You made me dive down Barfy's throat to retrieve a friggin banana!Zebra
But Mr. Michaels...the audience stopped laughing two minutes ago! Six minutes until commercial? Sigh...all right. "Awrrkk! I'm Banana Boy! Banana Boy! Wreeehkk! Banana Boy!" Rotter
Whoa there, Bob Barker. Make sure you know what I'm holding before you start placing bids.anon
No man! Dave's not here!sigar
Where was genetic engineering headed? First they grow a fully formed ear on the back of a lab rat, and now this: a functional human pancreas growing on the end of a toddler's arm.paTRICK heSTER
All I need now is 2 oranges and something to simulate a foreskin and my science project is done.Bubba
Who would've thought Toucan Sam would have leprosy?The 4-Star Pope
I can't hear you, I've got a banana in my hand. Hmmmm, I dunno, Bil. Wouldn't it be funnier if I had in, say, my ear, or something?The 4-Star Pope
G'day, mate! So, the dingo ate your baby, did he?Dark Roger
Hey guys, I found proof of life on Mars!His Imperial Majesty
After we squashed the penny we decided to put PJ's head on the tracks.Monkey
If only Andy Ihtanko were still submitting captions. He'd know how to deal with this one.glrbxbf
The gorilla devoured the banana--and a surprised Jeffy's right arm--in one bite. And that's why the kid only has one arm in Family Circus cartoons drawn after 1969.myrtle the turtle
See, it really IS just a banana in my pocket. I'm never happy to see you, Mommy. You scare me.alanon
When are we going to learn a defense against a pointed stick?Greg J
My God, man! This banana is longer than my arm! I can't wait to try that growth hormone on my marijuana crop...I'll have buds the size of wiffle bats!ColBleep
Dolly! I filled the condom with heroin, just like you said! What?! I'm supposed to swallow it? Man, this 'courier' crap is for the birds.ColBleep
Would you help me attach this Acme Arm Extender?Bill Fortier
The Club for fingers! Just TRY and pull it NOW!Bill Fortier
Billy, the Commissioner's on the Bananaphone! Time to get into our costumes!Riffy
"Eventually we realized what was going on around us, and we made a game of trying to make the jokes extremely obvious. One little gem of mine that always cracked the family up was when I held phallic symbols in front of my very round mouth."--from Under Scrutiny: Geoffery Keane's Struggle in the Dysfunctional Family CircusJim Smith
what kind of animal did this wishbone come from?the surrealist advisor
I feel like I'm in a Mapplethorpe exhibit!Grizz
Mommy, have you seen my harness?Wally
Server error: Too many flagrantly sexual captions. Resubmit a nonsexual caption later.anon
Mom, I know you've told me a million times not to run around the house with turds in my hands, but you've gotta see this one before it dissolves in the toilet!Pastor of Muppets
Mom, you dropped another fetus.siren
Check out the souvenier I got at the NOW rally! It's got S.C.U.M. engraved on the other side!Pastor of Muppets
...so then we tried to scare the gerbil out with THIS, and then we tried...Whatever.
Ladies and Gentlemen, sometimes a banana is just a banana.Anastasia
Nope! That's as wide as my mouth is gonna get. Guess it's back to pretzels and spaghetti for me. Mike Smith
St. Jeffy had his epiphany on the afternoon his mother handed him a banana for a snack and told him to get lost. As he walked into the back yard, he was surrounded by brilliant white light, and the wonders of the universe were revealed to him.Stefan Jones
"Ha...I...uh...(*snirk*)...heeheehee...I...uh...oh shit...let's get another prop for this gag, like an orange or something."Jojo
I took it to the lab, and they still can't tell if Bil was drawing a pickle, a banana, or a Bavarian smokie!Ratman
But I don't want to stand in the DFC circle, they're going to say that I'm holding all kinds of disgusting things, when it's just a... come to think of it, what the hell is it?Horselover Fat
Jeffy's constant reenactments of the "Banana Boat Song" dance from Beetlejuice grew less endearing as time went on. (Certified 100% Freud-free for your protection.)Paul Roub
Hey, Crocodile Dundee, here's your boomerang! Also, your movies SUCK!Schickelgruber
Look out Gallagher, there's a New prop comic in town!!!Doc Evil
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