DFC #155

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Dolly unexpectedly finds hidden messages from Satan in her Highlights magazine. Nobody else was surprised, however.alanon

Where the fuck is that NINA! DAMN YOUR EYES, HIRSHFIELD!anon

Dolly's mouth opened in dull horror as she saw she had colored outside the lines. It was only a matter of time before the beatings would commence.Jojo

I think the 5 pt spread over those lame Bud Weiser horses is a good bet. The giraffes have a mean special teams unit.binky

See, I told you that this can be the blandest cartoon in the nation.Matt

Where is Dolly's other hand and why is she breathing so hard? The Shadow knows!PsychoTee

Driven half-mad by starvation, Dolly attempts to eat Volume G of the Encyclopaedia BrittanicaCheese-boogie man

"Dis be an grr-af-fy. He crib be in de homey land. He be slappin' when he walkin'..." What is this shit? I guess I'll never get an A in this stinking "ebonics" class...Orion the Hunter

Photos of animals taking dumps....umm, very interesting collection, Dad.Tazabby

A scene from Harlan Ellison's bonechilling new science-fiction sequel, I Have No Neck, And I Must Scream.Ravecavy

It says here that the daddy giraffe licks the baby giraffes all over to keep them clean. Hhhmm, I guess it's normal, but why do I feel so dirty afterwards?Schickelgruber

Why is it that, in the rare caption where I have a shadow, it walks around with me in empty space?Temporal Wizard

So to sum up, while Darwin's theories explain the giraffe's neck, nothing accounts for the hideous freaks of nature I call my family.Velcro of Samsara Vagabond

Good evening, I think that tonight's story will prove the....That's enough?! Oh, come on, just a little more!! I can handle this "Hitchcock '97" gig, I know I can!! Please!! You don't understand! I can't go back to the DFC!! I can't!! The 4-Star Pope

On tonight's episode of "What If?" we will be examining how things might have been different if O.J. Simpson had married...A GIRAFFE!!The 4-Star Pope

Amazing! Uncle Pete has the same pattern on his underware as the giraffe....Kage

A few panels ago, coloring a Rhino. Now this. How childist! Why dontcha show me readin' "Vaseline Studs" like I really do??Vice Pope Doug

Disdaining crayons, Dolly calls her artwork, "Coloring by Projectile Vomit"...Verneaux

Oh, look Mommy's African Safari picture album. There's Mommy. Hmmm...that's a strange thing to be doing to a giraffe.ChoppingBlock

Remedial, juvenile zoological publications are so much more enjoyable when I'm frying on quality blotter!Vice Pope Doug

If you don't turn off the flashlight and stop making "Shadow" jokes, Billy, I'll show you exactly what evil lurks in the heart of Dolly...The Outsider

Mommy, these shiny leather pants are hurting me.anon

Is this some sort of trick Doc? This looks just like an ink spot too.Christina

"Oh God. So how many 'he has a neck and I don't' captions are we going to get THIS time?"halaq

Speaking of wild bush... Where's the pruning shears?Spastic Colon

I dunno Billy, I guess after last weekends experience with that Great Dane I'm gettin' a little leary about this zoophilia stuff.kafka

'Not-Me' is going to get his ass beat if he dosn't leave me alone!Bil Keane - Shadows 'R' Us

I think my caption should be accepted soley because I did not go for the neck joke.Preacher/Judge

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