DFC #138

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Well, he got away again. Looks like it's another week of painful injections into the stomach for you, Jeffy!Riff

Can't blame him for not trusting you, considering your reputation with water fowl.Keef

Geez, this always works with those guys who live under the bridge...Keef

I dunno, Jeffy. I wonder if Mom was telling the truth when she said Grandpa was reincarnated as a chipmunk!Mr Bill

Here Billy have a chip...oh jeesus, oh god, it's starting again...I...just...want...it...to...stop...now. I promise, Jesus, I'll never buy acid from the man at the bus station ever again IF YOU JUST MAKE IT STOP!I hate the Grateful Dead

I guess woodchucks don't like woodies. No. I guess squirrels don't like squares. No. I guess viscachas don't like whisky. No. Oh fuck, just get me the script.Horselover Fat

See? The chipmunk can sense that these chips are poisoned. You didn't eat any, did you Jeffy? Jeffy?Ratman

You little fucker! You wouldn't run away if I were a dainty little blonde with big hooters!Tazabby

Dammit, I'm gonna get me a fur coat, no matter what!Tazabby

Don't worry, Jeffy, we'll get your fingers back. Billy's waiting off-panel with the tazer.tv's "zap!" Spatch

I don't get it; we have delicious potato chips and we can't catch a goddamn chipmunk. How does Father McLaughlin keep catching choirboys with those tasteless communion wafers?The 4-Star Pope

"What was that Joe Lansdale once said about something being as scary as a psychotic greased gerbil with a miner's cap and a flashlight and your exposed asshole in sight?"Paul T. Riddell

Although depressed because he ruined the families traditional "Tree Rat and Chips" dinner, Jeffy took comfort in the fact that he had saved his childhood friend Theodore.Mad Mike

See.. I told you that we're trapped in a hamster wheel!anon

Okay, Plan B. I'll try to lure it seductively with my pony tail.ChoppingBlock

So, it's true what they say. Animals can sense evil.Jackson Compton

I'm not entirely sure that Bil traced the chipmunk, but they're only about 3 inches long. Either we've shrunk to the size of Barbie dolls or Bil also needs to take Remedial Small Mammals.Greg J

Jesus! One look at your face and they know they're dinner. Smile or something.anon

No, wait! I'm sorry I called you a squirrel! What are you, then? A chihuahua?Roy

Come back, Mr. Chipmunk! You've only eaten three chips and I bet P.J. I could get two whole bags down your lousy, stinkin' throat!El Kabong!

I don't care how cheap these chips were; if another rodent pops out of the bag, I'm throwin' it out.Don Spudleone

"Y'know, if animals can foretell disaster, then why didn't that damn chipmunk see this caption coming?"Paul T. Riddell

I love watching them spasm when the strychnine starts to take effect.attribution lost, sorry

I won't rest until I've driven the cholesterol level of every chipmunk through the roof!anon

Your reputation must precede you.Anastasia

Why is that chipmunk scared of us? It's bigger than our heads, for christ's sake.Mr. Groovy

Well, this sure as hell ain't working! You think Billy's having any better luck with that steak tied around his waist?Dave the Fave

Bil and his fucking product placements! Who wants a trip to Boise fucking Idaho, anyway?Dave the Fave

I don't see why we have to find the replacement singer for The Chipmunks. Bil's the fucking drunk who ran over Simon with that mower!Tazabby

Man, this is tougher than I thought! Why the hell can't Uncle Roy use gerbils like everyone else?kafka

Jeffy was suddenly very tired. Dolly had confused Chip 'N' Dale with Chippendales again, and was trying to stick a Pringle in the chipmunk's thong.Thomas Wilde

"He's got the weed in his cheek! Stop him!"anon

Ha! This proves my hypothesis. Dotted lines chase people and curved lines chase little animals.Tazabby

Hey, come back, they've got RRRRRIDGES!Doc Evil

You see? Three bites of Olestra and he's already squirtin' big time!Charlie Steinhice

Okay. We've scientifically proven that squirrels like: beer, cigarettes an' LSD. They don't like blood, dog shit or potato chips. That's a good 'nuff science project. Let's go smoke a bowl.Vice Pope Doug

Just what does Michael Jackson have that we don't?Anastasia

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