Next car it'll be Jeffy's turn to be Mr. Handpuppet. By the way, Billy, your prostate is getting boggy. _Unquote_
"Let's test this 'Drivers carry less than $20' theory. Get the taser."Thomas Wilde
OK, last time he made it. I'll give you ten-to-one the van nails Barfy before he can get across the street with two broken legs.D^2
"Amazing to see what those old cars can take. Three antitank rounds, and Daddy'll still take out the barricade."Paul T. Riddell
Check it out, guys. Daddy ran over the sign pointin' to the Detox Center. There's some prime irony for ya...Doc Evil
Okay, as soon as they leave, I'll trash the place. Jeffy, dump the urine and manure in the living room. Billy, you put P.J. outside naked, throw out any food in the house, and start guzzling beer. With any luck, CPS will have us out of here before you can say "Protective Custody!"Pastor of Muppets
It's not often you see a vanishing point in the right foreground.Horselover Fat
I hate it the way they lock their doors as they turn onto our street.Horselover Fat
Short bus is here, time for school Jeffy!Ben
I dunno when they'll be back. How long does it take to break the bank at Vegas?Joe Blow
The Crips are still circling the block. I wouldn't go out if I were you, Dad.Joe Blow
No, that ain't them. Mom said they wouldn't be back until they find Elvis.Joe Blow
You got both the brakes and the steering, right?anon
Well, shit! Looks like we're on our own. Mom and Dad will be gone a month, and we've got to eat are 2 cans of beans and a cherry Chapstick.BigDog
Why can't they do it in the bedroom like normal parents?anon
Oh, what I wouldn't do to get caught in the crossfire of a drive-by right about now!slacker
There they go, off to Reno again. But hey, look at it this way. At least this time they left us canned dog food.INI Caption Phalange
No, that's the ATF shift change; it's the guys who rented the house next door that're DEA, and the "gardeners" who've been landscaping that old lady's lawn for the last ten days are the IRS.not elsie
There go some more lucky orphans off to Mr. Kennedy's house.....Don Spudleone
Yaknow, I don't mind that they leave us alone for the weekend like this. But I really wish they wouldn't cackle evilly when they lock the kitchen cupboards shut.The Outsider
Looks like we're on our own, eh boys? Big difference, huh?Riff
Well, I forget...they said to tell you guys...what was it...good-something about...forever...worth hell.. less...oh, wait, that's right, they said,"Goodbye. You worthless little fucks can rot in hell forver"...that's what it was.ChoppingBlock
Did them. Did both of you. Did the car. Gonna do the doorknob. Anyone else getting tired of this?ferret
Remember, if a grownup tries to make you get into his or her car, talk about having sex with Barfy and eating Soylent Green. You'll be instantly transported to the red asterisk.His Imperial Majesty
Great, they're gone. Billy, call Louie and get as many whores as you can. Jeffy, call T-Bone and score us a couple more ounces of caine. I'll take of the P.R...PJ! Quit banging in the corner, and give me that syringe! There'll be none of that when the customers arrive!Blaine C
Jeffy! Did you hear that? They've gone to get the belt sander for your cranium!A.Holter
Watch the house? Fuck that! You two wankers can stay here and jerk each other off till your arms fall off! Me and PJ are goin' to Tijuana to drink ritas, smoke fatties, and sleep with any native that will give us the time of day!Blaine C
I can't believe mom took the car after she found that slut in the closet. And look! Daddy's chasing the car butt-naked with a hard-on!...The DFC...it's FANTASTIC! Blaine C
I checked the fridge - there's enough food for 3 days. After that, PJ, I guess.TINCAP
Why do they need to pack four suitcases into the station wagon just to go get a half-gallon of milk?ewhac
Time for a new DFC theme: The "Melon-Butt" caption.Dave the Fave
::sigh:: I wish our Dad went off to work. I get too fuckin' paranoid sneaking into the liquor cabinet when he's around.Dave the Fave
Jeffy's butt can't be an "Impossible Zone." Every guy on the block's been there!Dave the Fave
That was the plumber, so this must be Tuesday.Dave the Fave
Wagoneer IV LT...$23,000 base, $31,000 with all the options Daddy ordered. You realize, of course, that Dad makes his daily trip to the package store in our college educations, right?Rotter
Mr. and Mrs. Bumstead had a huge fight over what kind of car to buy. In the end, Dagwood got the Miata he wanted and Blondie got both a minivan for her catering service and an affair with the pool boy.Rotter
You know, some fathers get famous through hard work, inspiration, and achievement. With Daddy, it's gonna be a pony keg, an afternoon watching "Stuntmasters," and an abandoned drawbridge on the other side of town.Rotter
O.K. Billy, let's see a demonstration of these Satanic powers. Blow up that car.Anastasia
Well, there goes Uncle Roy. How long d'ya think it'll be before Dad's walking normally again?Anastasia
...now when the car hits the garage, the airbag ought to keep PJ from being hurled through the windshield. If not, I owe you a dollar. Moonraiser
This bullet-proof glass is great. Drive-bys don't even phase me anymore.Mad Mike
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