DFC #127

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Out of control? My grey slime mold? Don't make me laugh, dudette. I am the master!Horselover Fat

Are you serious? It's totally undetectable and detonates at 13,000 feet!! It's made from India Ink and Beer Hops! So, if it can be traced, it comes right back to that Bil! The NTSB will be here any minute! Make yourself scarce!Bill Versteegen

If my calculations are correct, this virus will cause everyone who tries to make the "stupid" list on purpose lose their right nostril.Greg J

Dude, I cooked up something called Lysergic Acid Dy-something or other. By the way, is that a pony tail, or is your head dripping?otis

It's not 'playing doctor.' This is your big chance to be a female participant in a research project!Meg

"C'mon, Dolly, you really don't need your appendix, and we need a way to get the smack through customs..."Thomas Wilde

The store had all their copies of the Anarchist's Cookbook stolen, but I got this. It doesn't have any bombs or napalm or anything, but there's some cool stuff you can do with baking soda.Greg J

...and thanks to my degree from DeVry, this time next year I'll be sweeping floors at Fermilab!Rotter

Oh come on......it's better than playing doctor!! You'll *assist* me in my exploration.anon

Remember what dad said:"Girls don't do science."Zebra

DFC Dream Caption: I know! We'll make some speed, I'll have sex with Daddy, You have sex with Thel, we'll kill Barfy and eat him, and Dad will get drunk and make fun of our big heads. Oh, and Dad's a crappy artist, too. Hail Satan! Uncle Roy is a hunk!Closed Creative System Man

If you want to make yourself REALLY useful, you could fetch me a German Shepard , a Petri Dish, and then get naked! No backtalk! Dr. Mengele's intstructions are very specific! Bill Versteegen

Hey, dig these epicanthic folds dad gave me for my birthday.Hugh "pleasepleaseplease accept this caption" Jass

Looks like the "Zombie Formula" has worked on Dolly. "Blank stare..." Yup. "Total obedience..." Good, good. "Frenzied feeding on human flesh after sundown..." Uh oh.Joe Klein

So the way I figure it, if we make our OWN methamphetamine we take ALL the profit!orlando

Relax, I haven't got the Plutonium yet. What you're looking at is just Bil trying to draw a sunset.anon

...Well, it can't be Helium in our heads. Says here we'd be floating in the air in that case.Pastor of Muppets

Maybe Bil can't draw me two nostrils, but with the right amount of boric acid, I can make me one.Pastor of Muppets

Oh, I see! We were only supposed to use a few drops of lighter fluid, not the whole bottle! That would probably 'splain what happened to PJ.Riff

Ah, here it is -- elephantiasis! Gee, their heads don't look that big to me.Charlie Steinhice

According to the manual, your breasts should already be growing. Maybe I need to rub some more ointment on them.Roy

So now we need to decide what we want to make in our lab: crystal meth, C4, or some undetectable poison we can feed to Uncle Roy?Roy

So the cloud is not exactly mushroom shaped. It's my first try!The Sandman

Tonight I'm going to give PJ a baboon heart while he's sleeping.I AM DAMPO SUZUKI

What a riot! These scientists actual used to think that placing family neighborhoods on old Nuclear dumps would cause birth defects! And just look at us! We're perfectly normal!Amazing AlKirk

I don't care what this damn book says. If evolution were REALLY true, then how come there are no melon-headed apes?slacker

"And they called me MAD! They mocked me on the playground; the mocked me at home. But soon, they shall face death at the hands of DOLLY THE DOG-FACED PSYCHO-BITCH! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!ThreeSwords Delamitri

"It says right here, 'Lab Assistants must be naked at all times.' What? No, it also says, 'Lab Assistants may not see the book for themselves.'"Adam Cadre

I may be a little scientist, but I have one big schlong.Cheezo

What the....Damn! I thought this was "The Little Satanist".Tazabby

The 'shroom recipes in here alone were worth the price of the book -- but God, am I baked!!Vice Pope Doug

This was Daddy's book when he was a kid. It looks like it's never been read -- 'cept for the very well worn chapter on fermentation!Vice Pope Doug

I say fuck this shit. I'm learning to use the computer, I'm brushing up on chemistry. I'm getting out, going to school, and leaving you all behind before I become just another washed-up child actor.Jan Keilek

Look, here's the visible light spectrum borken into its various wavelenghts: white, grey and black.Jan Keilek

All the hot babes at school are into the Professor from Gilligan's Island. Go with the flow I say.Anastasia

It says here that if two dissimilar weights are dropped at the same time, they will hit the ground at the same time. Let's get Jeffy and PJ!Myke

It's called a sex change experiment. First, I cut off your pony tail. That's it.Joe blow

Oh, sure, dabbling in the Black Arts can be diverting, but for the real rush you can't go wrong with a little tinkering with genetic engineering.MechaGumby

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