DFC #115

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Hey, you're the one who took us to see Tin Cup knowing full well how impressionable we are. Remember what happened after you took us to Re-Animator?Greg J

Why not, Mom? Dad says that he works on his putz in here all the time...Doc Evil

Well, what the hell else are we supposed to do in here? That toilet's way too tall for us to pee into, and I can't even see the sink!Kurt L.

Because it's fun, that's why. And we got golf clubs, so how exactly do you plan to make us stop?Kurt L.

Look, I know that as soon as we go, you'll be working that vibrator of yours...so don't give me any crap about cleaning in here! Tazabby

What do you mean, "don't flush?" Why the hell do we have a ball washer if we can't use it!GRIM!!!

Don't get your panties in a wad, Thel...you should see the mess upstairs where Bil tried to hit a long chip shot off a floating log...Frenchy, the toad swallower

Sorry Mom, but since you violated your contract with Speed Racer, we've got to pick up the tab with our new Titleist product placement campaign.Greg J

We're playing Wall Street Embezzler. This is the part where we're in prison.zazu

I don't care if it looks "suspicously" like the picture in the American Standard Catalog. I still think Bil drew it!Myke

We're doing this to illustrate a point. See, we're playing golf in the bathroom. We look pretty silly, don't we? This should be done on a golf course, and not in a bathroom. However, there are some things that are SUPPOSED to be done in a bathroom, and for godsake not on a golf course. You getting the point here?Milo Bloom

Of course the seat is up. We're playing from the men's tee.jerright

If Daddy an' Roy can play water sports in the bathroom, why can't we?El Vez

Oh, come on, it's not THAT dangerous. Sure, my ball could ricochet, hit him in the head, leave a lump. But on Jeffy, who's gonna notice?Joe Klein

Look, we're already getting too many "lesbian" captions because of your haircut. If we let you join in, we're just leaving ourselves open to a "Thel joins the LPGA" thread.Joe Klein

No, mom. You have it all wrong. We're not trying to put balls in to the toilet. We're trying to keep PJ from coming OUT of the toilet.Count Chuckula

All right, we'll let you 'play through' ... I bet Davis Love III didn't have a bulemic mother!Keef

Having Thel 86ed, stuffed, and mounted was a swell idea, Jeffy, but I think it would look better over the commode, don't you agree?slacker

Say what you will about his outdoor scenes, kitchen scenes, whatever...but when Keane finds a subject which truly inspires him, he's one hell of a draftsman!Rotter

Jesus! I'm less than one club-head length from a man-made obstruction, so I'm entitled to take a drop! What the hell is your problem?!Rotter

I can't believe it either. He's using a closed stance when the wind is clearly blowing from left to right!Rotter

What are you so worried about? It's not like the toilet works.Anastasia

Oh, calm down. Compared to 99% of the stuff those DFC jokers have us doing, this is downright wholesome.anon

I guess we should have gone the few extra bucks for the Delux membership package at this country club.Robert

But we were playing outside. Then the manager came over and said that the club had rules about people with "our kind" of heads. I guess you should have read the fine print in the brochure, Mom.Robert

Look, I know they're called urinal pucks, but this is all we got!Dave the Fave

WHAT?? Why'd you barge in like that?? All I said was, "Jeffy, my balls are right behind you -- please grab 'em"!Vice Pope Doug

Leave us alone, or we do a Jack Nicholson with that mirror!RIFF

So what if we break the mirror? We're in the DFC; how much more bad luck could we possibly get?RIFF

We're sendin' these turtle eggs down to the sewer so they can grow up to become lovable pizza-eating ninja!RIFF

A sand wedge!!! Are you out of your mind mom? Now hand me my 9 iron.Anonywuss

Oh, hi, mom. We're just setting a trap for the DFC. How many of those yutzes will think it's clever to make a caption about the water trap, even though that's the same lame joke dad made in the first place.Diggit

We were just commenting on the lush green vegetation all over the porcelain, and it inspired our youthful imaginations. You just go back to your soaps and tequila while we enjoy the fruits of your homemaking skills.Diggit

What did you think we were doing in here with two golf clubs, two balls, a mirror and all that handcream? Thel, you gotta stop reading DFC every day!Rusty Russell

It's a totally new concept in toilet training, Mom. You do a little potty, you work on your chip shot, everyone's happy..Traffic Man

Heavy flow shmeavy flow! I'm 3 under par, it's the last hole and the ball is right by the cabiet door! Can't you use something else..like a paint roller?zazu

Gonna dunk your new 'do in the crapper? Anything would be an immprovement!Joe Blow

No, no! The object is NOT to hit it in the toilet! If you hit it in, you hafta bob for it! Gross, huh?Vice Pope Doug

What're you upset about? The last time you caught us in the bathroom together, you had to get a prescription to get over it!Vice Pope Doug

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