DFC #111

(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)

Look Mommy, Uncle Roy's taking vitamins A, Z, and T!Joe Blow

Uh-oh. Boy, this laxative sure works fast!Roy

I always thought "getting high" on pills was just slang. Jesus! Where'd the fucking ground go?anon

Okay! Enough! I'm so fucked up, Mrs. Lincoln, that I couldn't shoot a parrot through a scarecrow!! I'm gonna be in fuckin' Betty Ford for YEARS!!! NEXT CARTOON already!!Vice Pope Doug

I knew you'd kick the shit outta me for getting into this stuff -- so I took it all. I mean, after all, it's pain medicine!Vice Pope Doug

Here y'go, Daddy. Why do you need my urine for your drug test, anyway?Greg J

Let's see..."Take twice a day with food until gaps in face fill up..."Greg J

Hey, have you guys ever actually read the ingredients to this Soylent Green shit?Greg J

...and then she went and did it with all of the dials and the gearshift in the car...no, seriously, the guy who sold it to me swore. What are you laughing about?Greg J

If I keep taking this synthetic HGH, the doctor says I'll grow enough to finally be able to unroll these fucking cuffs. After 30 years, I'm willing to try just about anything.El Vez

Put a dozen of these in dolly's milk and she spends the whole day hugging the shitter.Frenchy, the toad swallower

Call off your imperialist running-dog lackeys at once! If I release the switch on this detonator, you'll be explaining your actions to Allah *in person*!anon

Hey! I've found Gramma's medication! Maybe she'll put her clothes on and get off the mailbox.jybe

Mommy -- my skin is tingly an' I can't feel my feet. Is that wrong?Vice Pope Doug

OK, so after three months you finally caught me. But you gotta admit, since I started dosing Dad's coffee, he's been docile, manageable, happy and focused on his work...and can you even remember the last time he tried to hump someone's leg?Rotter

Yeah, Percodan...twelve a day. What did you think I meant when I said "I'm one of Jerry's Kids"?Rotter

"Trichlorymethyl Disulfate 500 mg"? Jesus, Mom...why not just give Dolly a glass of warm milk?Rotter

No, mother, the doctor can't call in a 'scrip for Percocet, and Schedule II drugs can't be refilled. Of course, you'd know that if you weren't such a skanked-out brain-dead excuse for a human.Zenmaster

"For treatment of anal gonorhhea?" So Dad's been at the bath-houses again?Zenmaster

Mommy, the guys at the photo shop said they won't develop any more film for you. They also said you're a very sick lady and should get some 'fressional help.Anastasia

Daddy! I found your AZT.Anastasia

Why do we have Mr. Wilson's nitro pills?Anastasia

Ooooh, the colors!Anastasia

OK, but suppose Dolly only took half the bottle? You think she'd live? ....oh, no reason...the wonder cheese

After eating the pretty colored candies, Jeffy is stunned to discover that his mother is really a giant fish.The Lawyer

Well goddamn! These birth control pills are in Dolly's name! And she had the nerve to turn me down because she said she was "saving herself for marriage"....huh, bullshit!kafka

Woah! What's IN this bubble stuff? 'Sides me, of course.Bill Fortier

Waddaya mean you can't do a background or ground 'cause you ran out of ink? There's a whole friggin' bottle right here, you lazy bastard!Bill Fortier

But Mommy, why would anybody WANT to save a cancerous testicle anyway?anon

What's edible bodypaint for??Don Spudleone

I don't think a shotgun shell this size will be able to blow Dolly's head clean off....got anything bigger?Don Spudleone

I don't know what this shit is, but suddenly, "Whiter Shade of Pale" makes perfect sense to me!zazu

Look I'm for anything that'll put some meat on the table. That's why I think the DFC pez dispenser is a great idea!zazu

Captain, I have never encountered tricorder readings like this before. It's life Jim, but not as we know it.paTRICK heSTER

What do you think will give PJ a better diaper rash, crushed garlic or paprika?Keef

As Jeffy's anti-gravity device lifted him above the clouds, he suddenly realized he'd forgotten to hook up the off button.paTRICK heSTER

Daddy, Mom's so whacked that she gave the fish her 'ludes and snorted the fish food again.Myke

I don't know what the hell this shit is, but it's makin' me feel very isolated right now!Vice Pope Doug

Mom ---------- meeeeee ? ? ? .....Wh ------- at ............ izzzzzz ................"Va --------- llllll ---- iiiiii ----- uummmmmm" ? ? ? ?Vice Pope Doug

Gramma's def'nately dead. Can I have her Percodan? Pretty please?Vice Pope Doug

Now that I think about it, I don't really need to take this whole bottle of pills to commit suicide when I'm already in freefall without a parachute.The Outsider

Trust me. Just slip one of these into Dolly's drink and it's party time.anon

Last time we switched Mommy's birth control pills with these vitamins we got PJ.CMJ

Mommy, are these the effectual pills you're always cursing about whenever you see all for of us kids together?Jojo the Spiv

You've been leaving these dangerous prescription drugs laying around my bedroom for the last month, hoping that curiosity would eventually get the better of me. But look, Einstein, this is a childproof cap!!! I mean, DUH!!ferret

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