OK, I'll stop whining. Actually there is a bright side to being drawn with my head backwards. With Daddy's friend Roy staying over for a week, I'll be able to keep an eye on my butt all the time.Zebra
Ok - If I split the profits with you fifty-fifty, *then* would you have any 'moral objections' to my proposal about turning the garage into a bordello?Keef
"Spank me again, but this time can I wear the nipple clips?"Rainman
Well, if the idea of my going on Jenny Craig insults your culinary skills, can't you at least buy me a StairMaster?Dave the Fave
Well excuuuse ME! I was lost and scared! So when the security guard asked me for a description of you I thought that mailman-fucking, booze lovin', club-hopping, line dancing, child-molesting, crack smokin', sperm guzzling, jetson-headed, D-cup wearin' gutter slut was an apt description! zazu
You can beat me all you want. I will never ever learn The Macarena!zazu
Oh, no, I'm not hurt. I just noticed that PJ's weeping cartoon last week was a freakin' caption magnet. Go with the flow, I always say.Diggit
I won't pull your finger, I won't, I won't, I won't..... Oh, I see I'm too late.D.E. Mac
THELMA KEANE'S DEFENSE LAWYER: As you in the jury can see in the freeze-frame of the Zapruder film on the left and the computer-enhanced blow-up on the right, we submit that a bullet entered beneath Jeffy's left eye, causing his head to jerk back and to the left , a fact that could not have been caused by the fork thrown accidentally by the defendant."Dofang
Serves you right for throwing it, you abusive harridan! Now how much of our food money will go into replacing that implant?Dofang
Ok, Ok, but, can't I at least do it until I need glasses?Jadie
Fine, so you've given me a severe spanking. But by this time tomorrow, my butt won't be sore anymore, while you, Madam, will still have a head shaped like the "Lost In Space" robot's.Rotter
Uh... Oh, hi Mom ... I was just talking about some other evil, twisted, mean-spirited, ball-busting, Jetson-headed bitch.Robert
Thanks Mommy! I love Fantasy Time! Now you get to be the sub ....... you bitch! Hee hee .... I really love Fantasy Time!Vice Pope Doug
Okay, okay, I'm sorry -- but how hard can it be to get a new blender an' a new cat?Vice Pope Doug
After being split in two by a transporter accident, Good-Jeffy learns that he feels pain whenever Evil-Jeffy is punished.Westur the Unspeakable
The latest in a series of Bil's marketing flops--Family Circus aspirin.The Outsider
"I know how much you hate them, but we haven't received an incestuous smutty caption in days. So let's get to it." "Sigh... OK, here's my best 'receiving fellatio' face. Let's see what those perverts come up with."ferret
Cry out of your eyes, not your head! -- You mean like this?anon
You can beat me until the cows come home, but the simple fact is you've got a feminine hygeine problem so bad it could knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon!Hopeless
Oh yeah?? Well .... I hope they have to cut off your left tit, too!Vice Pope Doug
Whoa! That was weird! It felt like giant pins sticking right into my hea...hey, Mommy, where'd you get that doll?Fed
Thank you! Thank you very much, Ladies and Gentlemen! That was "Bob Dole trying to get Elizabeth to have sex." Now up next is a little William Shatner impression I like to do, it goes something like this...Fed
Well, if you don't want me to cry, take the fucking knots out of the ends of your cat-o'nine-tails.Anastasia
All I did was ask if someone in the neighborhood was having their septic tank cleaned. I didn't know that smell was dinner.Anastasia
"And never talk back to me again" "Thank you Mistress Thel, I put the money on your dresser. Same time next Tuesday??"anon
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